Today began with an insane text about a neighbors friend peeing on her truck. Not the tire. He climbed up onto the rear bumper and peed into the bed of the truck. She was kind enough to send me a picture of the person peeing. She did not take the picture. Her drunk neighbor took it and snapchatted it to her thinking it was funny. She took a screen shot and texted it to me. I just can't believe this is a conversation I was having. She wanted me to handle it for her. Her truck was not parked on our property at the time of the peeing incident so I told her there was nothing I could do. There would really be nothing I could do even if it was.
How do semi grown people behave this way. I mean really? I understand being a man and how joyful it must be to just pee wherever you want. But that is just gross and rude. I had another tenant who insisted on peeing on his neighbors front door when he is wasted. He ended up getting evicted. But not even for that. I just don't get it. I say it over and over, but I really don't understand. What is the point?? I had a friend growing up that was a bit of a nerd and the jocks used to open his door and pee on his floor boards. These were 16 year old idiots and jerks doing this in the early 90's. The pee-er from this morning is a 24 year old young adult. How does he not know how to behave by now?????
The very fact that I have to have conversations like this is completely nuts. It makes me feel like I babysit 500 drunk toddler hillbillies. Craziness.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Friday, November 14, 2014
:-)
Today, since it is the middle of the month, I have been working on contacting all people who are behind on their rent. Here is a sampling of some of my favorite responses:
Tenant: My mother pays my rent you will need to contact her. (This person is 24 years old)
Me: It is your name on the lease, you are responsible.
Tenant: I don't care, she pays it, you need to call her.
Me: I am not calling your mother, you need to pay your rent or we will need to begin the eviction process.
Tenant: How can you evict me? It is her fault the rent isn't paid????
Seriously. Not his fault. Not his responsibility. Not his problem. Future politician? I think so.
This next one is a four bedroom, and I texted all tenants, and this is the group text:
Tenant a: So did everyone not pay or just one person? (Does she not know if she paid her own rent??)
Me: Just one person. I looked up your account and it is 'tenant b'
Tenant b: No I paid my rent. I know I did.
Me: I am not showing it on your account. Did you pay cash or check? I will gladly try to look it up by receipt number. (I have no problems doing this for people as 1 out of 100 times it is an error on our end. But only 1 out of 100. The other 99 it is because they just didn't pay it)
Tenant b: I don't know how I paid it. Why can't you look it up and see?
Me: I did look it up. According to our accounting, you didn't pay.
Tenant c: But if she paid why can't you see it??
Me: (trying not to stab myself in the eye) I can't see it because there is nothing there to see.
Tenant a: But she says she did pay, so why can't you just figure out what you did with the payment.
Tenant b: I am not paying it twice.
Tenant c: This is ridiculous.
Me: If you can just show me a receipt that says you paid, or a copy of a cashed check I can see if it was applied to the wrong place, otherwise, you will have to pay the missing rent. (at this point I am trying not to be mean. But this girl has obviously not paid and just doesn't want her roommates to know)
Tenant b: I am just going to call my dad. You will be hearing from him, shortly. This is stupid. You can't make me pay double rent.
Tenant c: I am also call my mom. I feel like you are trying to steal from us.
Tenant a: If you want me to call my dad as well girls just let me know.
Me: Give your parents my number, I will gladly talk to them.
Five minute pause. . . .
Tenant b: My mom says she forgot to mail the check this month. I will bring it by today.
Me: Thank you for checking (idiot). The late fee as of today is $$.
Tenant b: Why do I have to pay a late fee. My mom just forgot. How can you charge us a late fee for that?
Me: Rent is due the first. Today is the 14th. No exceptions.
Tenant b: I am paying my rent but not the late fee.
Me: It will go on your account. When you pay it is up to you. It will come out of your deposit in the end.
Tenant a: Just her portion of the deposit right?
Me: No. The total deposit.
Tenant a: She will pay the late fee.
Tenant b: No I won't.
Pause . . . .
Tenant b: I will bring the total by later today.
20 minute pause . . . .
Tenant d: So who didn't pay their rent? Do I need to call my mom?
Somebody just put me out of my misery. I beg you.
But my favorite:
Me: Reminder you still owe November rent.
Tenant: I know. I don't care. You will get it when you get it. Good luck. :-)
I think it was the smiley face that did it for me. What does that even mean????????????
Tenant: My mother pays my rent you will need to contact her. (This person is 24 years old)
Me: It is your name on the lease, you are responsible.
Tenant: I don't care, she pays it, you need to call her.
Me: I am not calling your mother, you need to pay your rent or we will need to begin the eviction process.
Tenant: How can you evict me? It is her fault the rent isn't paid????
Seriously. Not his fault. Not his responsibility. Not his problem. Future politician? I think so.
This next one is a four bedroom, and I texted all tenants, and this is the group text:
Tenant a: So did everyone not pay or just one person? (Does she not know if she paid her own rent??)
Me: Just one person. I looked up your account and it is 'tenant b'
Tenant b: No I paid my rent. I know I did.
Me: I am not showing it on your account. Did you pay cash or check? I will gladly try to look it up by receipt number. (I have no problems doing this for people as 1 out of 100 times it is an error on our end. But only 1 out of 100. The other 99 it is because they just didn't pay it)
Tenant b: I don't know how I paid it. Why can't you look it up and see?
Me: I did look it up. According to our accounting, you didn't pay.
Tenant c: But if she paid why can't you see it??
Me: (trying not to stab myself in the eye) I can't see it because there is nothing there to see.
Tenant a: But she says she did pay, so why can't you just figure out what you did with the payment.
Tenant b: I am not paying it twice.
Tenant c: This is ridiculous.
Me: If you can just show me a receipt that says you paid, or a copy of a cashed check I can see if it was applied to the wrong place, otherwise, you will have to pay the missing rent. (at this point I am trying not to be mean. But this girl has obviously not paid and just doesn't want her roommates to know)
Tenant b: I am just going to call my dad. You will be hearing from him, shortly. This is stupid. You can't make me pay double rent.
Tenant c: I am also call my mom. I feel like you are trying to steal from us.
Tenant a: If you want me to call my dad as well girls just let me know.
Me: Give your parents my number, I will gladly talk to them.
Five minute pause. . . .
Tenant b: My mom says she forgot to mail the check this month. I will bring it by today.
Me: Thank you for checking (idiot). The late fee as of today is $$.
Tenant b: Why do I have to pay a late fee. My mom just forgot. How can you charge us a late fee for that?
Me: Rent is due the first. Today is the 14th. No exceptions.
Tenant b: I am paying my rent but not the late fee.
Me: It will go on your account. When you pay it is up to you. It will come out of your deposit in the end.
Tenant a: Just her portion of the deposit right?
Me: No. The total deposit.
Tenant a: She will pay the late fee.
Tenant b: No I won't.
Pause . . . .
Tenant b: I will bring the total by later today.
20 minute pause . . . .
Tenant d: So who didn't pay their rent? Do I need to call my mom?
Somebody just put me out of my misery. I beg you.
But my favorite:
Me: Reminder you still owe November rent.
Tenant: I know. I don't care. You will get it when you get it. Good luck. :-)
I think it was the smiley face that did it for me. What does that even mean????????????
The Blame Game
There has been a rash of car break ins in the town where I live. Three cars just on our properties in the last couple weeks. But about 25 cars city wide according to the news. But of course the 3 on our properties were blamed on us. One kid even threatened to call his attorney if we didn't pay to have his windshield replaced. One girl informed me that her dad would be calling us because it was absurd that we wouldn't just let her park in the garage (which is limited spaces for lease only) for free. She informed me that it was our fault that her car was broke into because we didn't have someone monitoring the lot 24 hours a day.
Sometimes when I am having these conversations with people I have to ask myself how is this my life? How did I become a babysitter for the idiots of idiotville??
These people don't even think to call the police and file a report. They jump right to 'let's yell at our land lord for something that has absolutely nothing to do with her.' Because that is the logical thing to do.
I understand these things happened on our property. But we did not do it. Criminals did. I am not sure how many more times I can get blamed for things that are not my fault. It is exhausting.
Sometimes when I am having these conversations with people I have to ask myself how is this my life? How did I become a babysitter for the idiots of idiotville??
These people don't even think to call the police and file a report. They jump right to 'let's yell at our land lord for something that has absolutely nothing to do with her.' Because that is the logical thing to do.
I understand these things happened on our property. But we did not do it. Criminals did. I am not sure how many more times I can get blamed for things that are not my fault. It is exhausting.
Monday, November 3, 2014
My good old bestie!
I have been so busy with work I have not been able to share in a while. Don't worry, it doesn't mean they have stopped being idiots. Just this morning my BFF the fire marshal stopped in for a visit. Apparently my lovely tenants in one of my buildings decided to all get together to celebrate Halloween. . . with about 1300 of their closest friends. 1300. in a building that about 65 people live in. That is insane. They have ripped down exit signs and lights and broken doors. Holes in the walls. The fire marshal was kind enough to share with me that when they got there the under aged drinkers were worried they would get caught with alcohol so they just dumped out their cocktails on the floor. On the floor. Who do they think cleans up?????
He also had to visit another building where only 11 people live. He said they cleared out a few hundred from that party. And the kid who answered the door was so belligerent and rude he basically told the marshal and the police to F%^# off. He would do whatever he felt liked. That is always a good idea. Let's be rude to the police. That should help out my situation.
This fire marshal informed that at lease two of the other marshals that work in this area will be stopping by with more info on the parties they broke up.
What ever happened to going to bars??? Is the house party making a come back? Because the house party is alive and well here in this lovely town of mine.
He also had to visit another building where only 11 people live. He said they cleared out a few hundred from that party. And the kid who answered the door was so belligerent and rude he basically told the marshal and the police to F%^# off. He would do whatever he felt liked. That is always a good idea. Let's be rude to the police. That should help out my situation.
This fire marshal informed that at lease two of the other marshals that work in this area will be stopping by with more info on the parties they broke up.
What ever happened to going to bars??? Is the house party making a come back? Because the house party is alive and well here in this lovely town of mine.
Friday, October 17, 2014
Mental Break
I took a bit of a mental break. Not from work. No, that would never happen. Still had to show up everyday and still had to get stuff done. Just took a little break from thinking about it all. For the sake of what little sanity I have left. Sometimes a lady just has to do that. (I use the term lady very loosely)
But the idiots have been putting on quite a show lately and I would feel bad not sharing all their delightfulness with the world.
The new favorite phrase seems to be 'I am not paying for that'. I hear for everything. Example: 'I don't care that I paid my rent late, the 15th was when I had the money so that is when you got the money. I am not paying the late fee.' or 'I don't care if you warned me that the next time I had my 50 closest friends over until 4 in the morning to rage you were going to fine us. I am not paying for that.' or my favorite 'I don't care we had an outstanding balance of $1300 on our account when we moved out due to damages and late fees, I don't live there anymore so it isn't my problem and I am not paying for that.'
Oh children. I know you think I am mean and awful for expecting you to take care of your responsibilities, and it really is partially my fault for thinking you were capable. But please at least try not to be a complete moron. Please, I beg you. Please don't threaten to sue me for billing you for something you should be billed for. This would be like having you car fixed and then suing the mechanic for expecting you to pay. It is just insane.
No matter how long I work here I will never understand.
But the idiots have been putting on quite a show lately and I would feel bad not sharing all their delightfulness with the world.
The new favorite phrase seems to be 'I am not paying for that'. I hear for everything. Example: 'I don't care that I paid my rent late, the 15th was when I had the money so that is when you got the money. I am not paying the late fee.' or 'I don't care if you warned me that the next time I had my 50 closest friends over until 4 in the morning to rage you were going to fine us. I am not paying for that.' or my favorite 'I don't care we had an outstanding balance of $1300 on our account when we moved out due to damages and late fees, I don't live there anymore so it isn't my problem and I am not paying for that.'
Oh children. I know you think I am mean and awful for expecting you to take care of your responsibilities, and it really is partially my fault for thinking you were capable. But please at least try not to be a complete moron. Please, I beg you. Please don't threaten to sue me for billing you for something you should be billed for. This would be like having you car fixed and then suing the mechanic for expecting you to pay. It is just insane.
No matter how long I work here I will never understand.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
meh
I am struggling to even stay at work today. Trying to come up with reasons I need to cut out early. I have about a million other things I would rather be doing than working. But I can't even come up with a good excuse to leave. The effort of thinking one up just seems like too much effort. The effort of not using the word effort multiple times in one sentence seems like too much effort as well. Meh. I will try to make it 30 more minutes. We shall see.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Pause
So last night some kids that looked like they might be in high school came into one of our buildings and beat the bejesus out of a college kid. 5 kids beat up one kid. Because they bumped into him in the hall. I am normally calling my tenants names and mocking them for their idiocy, but no one deserves that. I have pulled all the camera footage and forwarded it our local police.
I am pausing from making fun of them for a moment. What the hell is going on??? Why is this such a common thing now? I just don't get it. This guy was just walking down the hall and turned a corner and bumped into someone. You can see his hand go up in a apologetic gesture. He tries to then walk around the kid and the kid attacks him and his friends follow suit. It was insane to watch. They stomped on his head. They literally kicked him while he was down. Over and over again.
I usually fear for our futures based on the college kids who are acting like fools, but maybe I am missing the bigger picture and should be far more worried about what is coming up behind them. The even younger group of kids. And the 20 year olds with zero direction. Is this how they act? Worse than drunk frat boys? Just violent idiots?
After they were done kicking the crap out of the kid, literally, they all stood over him and high fived. Some other tenants came out and helped up their friend. But they didn't run off the violent kids. Some people actually stood in the hall way to chat with them. I saw one of the guy who was beaten frat brothers actually laugh and shake hands with one of the attackers. I am sure he wasn't 100% aware of how bad it had been. He came out at the end as some people were helping up the kid and taking him away. But still.
And no one called the police. No one. I had to contact the police today. A violent incident occurred and no one bothered to contact the authorities. I am not encouraging a tattle tale society. But there is a time and a place for police. After being attacked is the time!!! The kid who was beaten would have contacted the police but he said he was so out of it he couldn't. He did today. Thankfully.
Hopefully these kids will be caught. And hopefully this is just a random occurrence on our property. But based on what I see in the news I am guessing not.
I am pausing from making fun of them for a moment. What the hell is going on??? Why is this such a common thing now? I just don't get it. This guy was just walking down the hall and turned a corner and bumped into someone. You can see his hand go up in a apologetic gesture. He tries to then walk around the kid and the kid attacks him and his friends follow suit. It was insane to watch. They stomped on his head. They literally kicked him while he was down. Over and over again.
I usually fear for our futures based on the college kids who are acting like fools, but maybe I am missing the bigger picture and should be far more worried about what is coming up behind them. The even younger group of kids. And the 20 year olds with zero direction. Is this how they act? Worse than drunk frat boys? Just violent idiots?
After they were done kicking the crap out of the kid, literally, they all stood over him and high fived. Some other tenants came out and helped up their friend. But they didn't run off the violent kids. Some people actually stood in the hall way to chat with them. I saw one of the guy who was beaten frat brothers actually laugh and shake hands with one of the attackers. I am sure he wasn't 100% aware of how bad it had been. He came out at the end as some people were helping up the kid and taking him away. But still.
And no one called the police. No one. I had to contact the police today. A violent incident occurred and no one bothered to contact the authorities. I am not encouraging a tattle tale society. But there is a time and a place for police. After being attacked is the time!!! The kid who was beaten would have contacted the police but he said he was so out of it he couldn't. He did today. Thankfully.
Hopefully these kids will be caught. And hopefully this is just a random occurrence on our property. But based on what I see in the news I am guessing not.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
How is it only Tuesday?????
So far this week, at 2:00 on Tuesday, I have spoken to 3 different fire marshals (how many can one town have?) and two different sets of police.
And if I am not crazy, as I type this another two fire marshals are walking in now . . . To be continued shortly . . . Followed by two cops. . . This should be good. . .
Update:
My tenants are idiots and Johnny Law isn't entertained. Shocking. Just shocking. Basically they wanted to give my tenants the business and they wanted to do it in front of me so that I was aware my tenants were idiots. I was completely unaware. Thank God I know now.
Just a little side note, I do actually appreciate all the help I get from the police. They get a bad rap sometimes, but they have been amazingly helpful for me in trying to get the idiocy to stop. And yes I am aware the Fire Marshal is trying to keep everyone safe. I appreciate that as well. I just get tired of it taking up such a large portion of my day.
And if I am not crazy, as I type this another two fire marshals are walking in now . . . To be continued shortly . . . Followed by two cops. . . This should be good. . .
Update:
My tenants are idiots and Johnny Law isn't entertained. Shocking. Just shocking. Basically they wanted to give my tenants the business and they wanted to do it in front of me so that I was aware my tenants were idiots. I was completely unaware. Thank God I know now.
Just a little side note, I do actually appreciate all the help I get from the police. They get a bad rap sometimes, but they have been amazingly helpful for me in trying to get the idiocy to stop. And yes I am aware the Fire Marshal is trying to keep everyone safe. I appreciate that as well. I just get tired of it taking up such a large portion of my day.
Friday, September 5, 2014
Flashback #5
This is going to shock you. So prepare yourself. My tenants like to lie to me. *GASP* I know, that sounds crazy, but it is true. The check is in the mail . . . A bum must have broken in our apartment and broken that door . . . I don't know who got drunk and peed in the hall . . . You get the idea. But occasionally I get a tenant who just owns their idiocy. Just wears it like a badge. They do dumb stuff. They pay for it. These kids don't bother me. I still have to clean up their messes but they at least pay up.
I had a tenant who lived on our properties for a couple years. I hate to say it but this kid cracked me up. At all times. He was awful. Terrible. Just flat out bad. But he was also sweet and funny and kept me laughing at his idiocy. Here is one of my favorites about a kid we will call Joe Smith.
Joe lived in one of our units two years ago. He and his friend broke pretty much every door in the place. There was no less than 25 holes in the walls when they moved out. There were even holes in the hard wood floor. I mean big holes. As in you could see into the basement. They broke windows, they were filthy, they were a big pain in my ass. They moved out. They paid their damage bill. They knew they did it. 4 boys lived there. 3 of them moved on. No idea where they went.
But not Joe. Joe moved into a different unit with 3 new friends. But he swore these were better behaved frat brothers. Sure. Ok. These are the type of frat boys who stay home and study on a Friday. Nice try Joe.
So Joe and his buddies move into this new place and they actually seem like they are going to behave. (at least better than the 4 boys who lived there before them, but that is a different and shocking story that I shall share with you later). It lasted for a month or so, and then the fire marshal calls. Always the stinking fire marshal. The parties were getting out of hand.
I had a little sit down with Joe and his buddies and they assured me they would tone it down. They would reel it in. Get it under control. They were so sorry. Blah blah blah. They seem to actually do this. Then it happened.
While getting a lease signed by a kid who was pre-leasing for this current lease term I heard the best story. Ever. This kid, who we will call Bob, had a broken hand and a very fresh cast. I politely asked Bob how he broke it. He tells me he broke it during his fraternities annual charity boxing match. They raise money for the charity they support by selling tickets and charging at the door, requiring 'tips' for beer, and I think he said they even sold t-shirts. They raised quite a bit of money! Good for them! As he and I discussed the event more, it actually sounded like a really fun night!
I asked where the event was held. He tells me. Yep. You guessed it. Good old Joe hosted a charity boxing match in his apartment. They had a ring set up and everything. I know what you are thinking. Yes. That apartment is that big. It is a 4 bedroom unit that is the entire top floor of a building.
I call Joe. He doesn't exactly deny it. Just assures me they will fix everything and not to worry about it. His exact words. They will fix everything. Fix. Everything. What the hell needs to be fixed?????? He just chuckled. Joe recently moved out and moved on. Everyone has to grow up and graduate at some point. We went in to get his unit ready for the next tenants. He did not fix everything. Broken doors, railings, counter tops. You name it. They broke it. But they did raise money for charity. So I guess they have that going for them.
Idiots.
I had a tenant who lived on our properties for a couple years. I hate to say it but this kid cracked me up. At all times. He was awful. Terrible. Just flat out bad. But he was also sweet and funny and kept me laughing at his idiocy. Here is one of my favorites about a kid we will call Joe Smith.
Joe lived in one of our units two years ago. He and his friend broke pretty much every door in the place. There was no less than 25 holes in the walls when they moved out. There were even holes in the hard wood floor. I mean big holes. As in you could see into the basement. They broke windows, they were filthy, they were a big pain in my ass. They moved out. They paid their damage bill. They knew they did it. 4 boys lived there. 3 of them moved on. No idea where they went.
But not Joe. Joe moved into a different unit with 3 new friends. But he swore these were better behaved frat brothers. Sure. Ok. These are the type of frat boys who stay home and study on a Friday. Nice try Joe.
So Joe and his buddies move into this new place and they actually seem like they are going to behave. (at least better than the 4 boys who lived there before them, but that is a different and shocking story that I shall share with you later). It lasted for a month or so, and then the fire marshal calls. Always the stinking fire marshal. The parties were getting out of hand.
I had a little sit down with Joe and his buddies and they assured me they would tone it down. They would reel it in. Get it under control. They were so sorry. Blah blah blah. They seem to actually do this. Then it happened.
While getting a lease signed by a kid who was pre-leasing for this current lease term I heard the best story. Ever. This kid, who we will call Bob, had a broken hand and a very fresh cast. I politely asked Bob how he broke it. He tells me he broke it during his fraternities annual charity boxing match. They raise money for the charity they support by selling tickets and charging at the door, requiring 'tips' for beer, and I think he said they even sold t-shirts. They raised quite a bit of money! Good for them! As he and I discussed the event more, it actually sounded like a really fun night!
I asked where the event was held. He tells me. Yep. You guessed it. Good old Joe hosted a charity boxing match in his apartment. They had a ring set up and everything. I know what you are thinking. Yes. That apartment is that big. It is a 4 bedroom unit that is the entire top floor of a building.
I call Joe. He doesn't exactly deny it. Just assures me they will fix everything and not to worry about it. His exact words. They will fix everything. Fix. Everything. What the hell needs to be fixed?????? He just chuckled. Joe recently moved out and moved on. Everyone has to grow up and graduate at some point. We went in to get his unit ready for the next tenants. He did not fix everything. Broken doors, railings, counter tops. You name it. They broke it. But they did raise money for charity. So I guess they have that going for them.
Idiots.
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Military boys
I have a handful of guys who are marines and army living in our properties. The vast majority of them I just freaking adore. They are clean, prompt on payment, polite, and frankly I am thankful for their service. But there are a few who just make my life awful, and they like to throw around that they are soldiers. I think they assume people will forgive their idiocy and make allowances for their bad behavior. I do not. It actually pisses me off.
I have had two ex-marines in particular that have made me crazy. They are terrible. They are destructive, rude, disrespectful little shits. They always have on their marine shirts, and are covered in their marine tats. One of them currently still resides on here and I am just counting down the days until his lease is up and just praying he doesn't renew. Let him go somewhere else and act like a badass/douche-bag.
The other is already gone. He skipped out on his lease early. Owes us a ton of back rent and late fees, and is now fighting the damage bill for all the destruction he caused. (he just called today. That is what made me think of him) He says it was like that when he got there. Sure. I let you move into a unit with broken doors, 23 burned out light bulbs, a broken fridge, and holes in the wall. Ok. I just got word that he is moving to Hawaii. I am guessing with the military. But I am not 100% sure. But God help the next people who have to clean up after him. He is a sad representation of a Marine and frankly it bums me out.
I have had two ex-marines in particular that have made me crazy. They are terrible. They are destructive, rude, disrespectful little shits. They always have on their marine shirts, and are covered in their marine tats. One of them currently still resides on here and I am just counting down the days until his lease is up and just praying he doesn't renew. Let him go somewhere else and act like a badass/douche-bag.
The other is already gone. He skipped out on his lease early. Owes us a ton of back rent and late fees, and is now fighting the damage bill for all the destruction he caused. (he just called today. That is what made me think of him) He says it was like that when he got there. Sure. I let you move into a unit with broken doors, 23 burned out light bulbs, a broken fridge, and holes in the wall. Ok. I just got word that he is moving to Hawaii. I am guessing with the military. But I am not 100% sure. But God help the next people who have to clean up after him. He is a sad representation of a Marine and frankly it bums me out.
Keepng it Clean
We are in the process of doing some seasonal maintenance on our properties. Tree trimming, power washing, painting, etc. We do this every year to try to keep everything looking nice. Yesterday I had a tenant call me to tell me that the power washer was extremely loud and disruptive. She was trying to sleep and couldn't we do that later? Ummmm. . . It was 11:00 in the morning. So no, not really. We couldn't do it later. And no she doesn't have a night job. She is just a college aged kid. I would guess hangover based on the number empty beer cans outside her door. I feel like they don't understand the concept of a trash can. It is just lazy and insane!!
I have also had complaints about the 'sketchy looking guys' picking up stuff in the parking lots. Those sketchy looking guys are called maintenance workers. They are dirty because they are working hard. I realize this is a difficult concept for most of my tenants. I will, in the future, request that our contractors wear a suit and tie whilst they are cleaning up the party messes and repairing the damage that your drunk frat boy friends caused. Getting right on that. Just this minute.
Can you hear my eyes rolling? I thought so.
I have also had complaints about the 'sketchy looking guys' picking up stuff in the parking lots. Those sketchy looking guys are called maintenance workers. They are dirty because they are working hard. I realize this is a difficult concept for most of my tenants. I will, in the future, request that our contractors wear a suit and tie whilst they are cleaning up the party messes and repairing the damage that your drunk frat boy friends caused. Getting right on that. Just this minute.
Can you hear my eyes rolling? I thought so.
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Fatty
A tenant call me a fat bitch. Yep. It finally happened. I had been waiting for it. I am both surprised that it took so long for someone to call me that and sad that that is the best this girl could come up with. This is a college graduate. Someone who has been deemed worthy to go out into the world and hold a professional job. And Fat Bitch is the best she could come up with.
It was over a $50 charge on her account in case you were wondering. Some people.
It was over a $50 charge on her account in case you were wondering. Some people.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Well FML
It may have finally happened. They may have finally pushed me to my limit. Today I received an email from an angry parent telling me all the reasons that her daughter should not have to pay for some of the things on her move out. And one of the reasons was based on a private conversation I had with someone who I considered to be a friend. Lesson learned. Trust no one. They won't get their money. They broke a rule in the lease they signed. But I feel violated. I apparently can't escape from this place. Even in my private life.
I hate this job. As in Hate. I need to find someone who can pay me what I make here but can give me a peaceful happy job. Doesn't this exist???????? Bastards.
I hate this job. As in Hate. I need to find someone who can pay me what I make here but can give me a peaceful happy job. Doesn't this exist???????? Bastards.
Sympathy isn't really my thing
I have an ex tenant who moved to another part of town. She moved into a rental house. She was excited because it had a yard, she was getting away from big old mean me, and she wouldn't be surrounded by college kids anymore, etc.
She came in to pick something up from our office the other day and she told me that she had to wait 5 days for them to fix something. 5 days. Interesting. She also told me that her new landlord is a creeper and he is constantly coming up with reasons why he needs to be there. Sounds super fun. She was told they would have a lawn company to take care of the mowing but now one had been there in the nearly 20 days they have lived there to mow. Poor thing.
This is a person who did nothing but bitch while she was here. Bitch about the 24 hours it took to respond to a clogged drain (clogged by her hair). She would bitch when I was in her apartment (to stay with outside contractors whom I would never leave unattended in anyone's space since they don't work for us). Even once bitched after it snowed because it took us nearly 24 hours to get a plow on the lot. (we had just gotten close to 10 inches of snow and ice and it had begun around 9 in the morning so we couldn't get someone on the lot until the following afternoon. That is just where we fell on the snow plows schedule. (we did shovel all walk ways, steps, and even private porch areas at 6 a.m. the morning after the snow stopped to make them safe) Basically she was insane. But she fo sho wanted my sympathy for her new living situation. Sure. I feel super bad for her.
Not once did crazy pants ever comment on how good she actually had it here. She actually ended the bitch fest by saying that 'it could be worse, she could still live here'. Some bitches just need to be slapped. A lot.
She came in to pick something up from our office the other day and she told me that she had to wait 5 days for them to fix something. 5 days. Interesting. She also told me that her new landlord is a creeper and he is constantly coming up with reasons why he needs to be there. Sounds super fun. She was told they would have a lawn company to take care of the mowing but now one had been there in the nearly 20 days they have lived there to mow. Poor thing.
This is a person who did nothing but bitch while she was here. Bitch about the 24 hours it took to respond to a clogged drain (clogged by her hair). She would bitch when I was in her apartment (to stay with outside contractors whom I would never leave unattended in anyone's space since they don't work for us). Even once bitched after it snowed because it took us nearly 24 hours to get a plow on the lot. (we had just gotten close to 10 inches of snow and ice and it had begun around 9 in the morning so we couldn't get someone on the lot until the following afternoon. That is just where we fell on the snow plows schedule. (we did shovel all walk ways, steps, and even private porch areas at 6 a.m. the morning after the snow stopped to make them safe) Basically she was insane. But she fo sho wanted my sympathy for her new living situation. Sure. I feel super bad for her.
Not once did crazy pants ever comment on how good she actually had it here. She actually ended the bitch fest by saying that 'it could be worse, she could still live here'. Some bitches just need to be slapped. A lot.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Here we go again
Well this weekend most of the students who have been gone all summer moved back. And the insanity followed. About 75% of my tenants finally moved in this weekend. (even if their leases started in June. Can you imagine paying rent for 3 months for a place you don't live??) So far I have needed to speak to the police, the fire marshal, a number of angry parents.
My favorite parent was the one upset about the puke outside her daughters front door. Here is how the convo went down:
Mom: This is disgusting and unacceptable. What kind of place allows this behavior and what kind of place doesn't clean this up? It is unsanitary!
Me: Mam this is the first I am hearing of this. I will have I cleaned and I will check the cameras to see who caused the issue.
Mom: I should hope so this is ridiculous. My daughter just move in yesterday. I am down here to get her set up. I would not have allowed her to live in a place like this had I been aware that you allowed this.
Me: I don't allow any kind of behavior, mam. As soon as I am aware that there is a problem I try to solve it. As all the students moved in this weekend it was a bit crazy down here. I tried to stay on top of everything but it was a bit out of control. As I said, I will gladly check the cameras and send a crew over to clean it up ASAP.
Mom: I will expect a call back very soon. (hangs up on me)
I check the cameras and the rest of the story pretty much goes exactly how you think it would. Her daughter invited over about 150 of her closest friends who got wasted and trashed the entire hallway. (I have no idea what her apartment looked like in the morning but she must be a magician if her mom was confused about who the problem was) And guess who puked in the hallway. . .
Me: Mam, I think you should just come watch the footage.
Mom: I have no desire to watch hoodlums behave like morons. Just tell me the problem has been resolved and you will be punishing the piece of trash that did this?!?!
Me: I am actually heading over to the building shortly to hand deliver the written warning now unless you would like to come and watch the footage.
Mom: Thank, God. I expected more of this place with the amount of rent we are paying. And NO, I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH THE FOOTAGE!
Me: If you would just come watch the footage, I think it would help.
Mom: Absolutely not.
Me: Ok.
So I drive over to the building to give her daughter the party fine, her written warning, and her bill for cleaning the hallway. The mom just stands there, looking both ashamed and so pissed I thought her head would explode. Needless to say I was secretly enjoying the moment. She still hasn't come to watch the footage. I am totally shocked.
My favorite parent was the one upset about the puke outside her daughters front door. Here is how the convo went down:
Mom: This is disgusting and unacceptable. What kind of place allows this behavior and what kind of place doesn't clean this up? It is unsanitary!
Me: Mam this is the first I am hearing of this. I will have I cleaned and I will check the cameras to see who caused the issue.
Mom: I should hope so this is ridiculous. My daughter just move in yesterday. I am down here to get her set up. I would not have allowed her to live in a place like this had I been aware that you allowed this.
Me: I don't allow any kind of behavior, mam. As soon as I am aware that there is a problem I try to solve it. As all the students moved in this weekend it was a bit crazy down here. I tried to stay on top of everything but it was a bit out of control. As I said, I will gladly check the cameras and send a crew over to clean it up ASAP.
Mom: I will expect a call back very soon. (hangs up on me)
I check the cameras and the rest of the story pretty much goes exactly how you think it would. Her daughter invited over about 150 of her closest friends who got wasted and trashed the entire hallway. (I have no idea what her apartment looked like in the morning but she must be a magician if her mom was confused about who the problem was) And guess who puked in the hallway. . .
Me: Mam, I think you should just come watch the footage.
Mom: I have no desire to watch hoodlums behave like morons. Just tell me the problem has been resolved and you will be punishing the piece of trash that did this?!?!
Me: I am actually heading over to the building shortly to hand deliver the written warning now unless you would like to come and watch the footage.
Mom: Thank, God. I expected more of this place with the amount of rent we are paying. And NO, I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH THE FOOTAGE!
Me: If you would just come watch the footage, I think it would help.
Mom: Absolutely not.
Me: Ok.
So I drive over to the building to give her daughter the party fine, her written warning, and her bill for cleaning the hallway. The mom just stands there, looking both ashamed and so pissed I thought her head would explode. Needless to say I was secretly enjoying the moment. She still hasn't come to watch the footage. I am totally shocked.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Don't be confused
Let's not get confused about July's lack of posts. Other than my little vacation, it has been an insane month. No time to play catch up on here. Between people moving out, people moving in, and 100% pure idiocy there has just been no time.
There have been some amazingly fun things that I can't wait to share.
Here is a small sample:
**Why am I being charged for a broken door. That door was broken a month after I moved in and never repaired. (well you are being charged because you broke a door. It really isn't my fault you didn't report it as broken and allow us to fix it)
** Why do I have to pay for that hole in the wall. A drunk guy at a party did that. Not us. Isn't that really your problem? (that was an actual text)
** I don't understand why my granddaughter is being charged for all of these things out of her deposit. I mean why would she have to pay for late fees and pet fines after she moved out? shouldn't that have been taken care of while she lived there? (Um yes. yes it should have. The fact that it wasn't taken care of is exactly why it is coming out of her deposit. )
** How is it my problem my room mate didn't pay his half of the rent. I paid mine. How can we be getting an eviction notice? (because only half the rent was paid. You still owe half the rent. Not sure how else to explain that)
This is just a fun sampling of ridiculous conversations I have been having. I truly fear for the future of our society. This is how people end up living on communes that have armed guards. They realize how insane everyone is and just decide to detach from everyone. I used to think it was extreme and that they were the insane ones. The longer I have this job the more it makes sense.
There have been some amazingly fun things that I can't wait to share.
Here is a small sample:
**Why am I being charged for a broken door. That door was broken a month after I moved in and never repaired. (well you are being charged because you broke a door. It really isn't my fault you didn't report it as broken and allow us to fix it)
** Why do I have to pay for that hole in the wall. A drunk guy at a party did that. Not us. Isn't that really your problem? (that was an actual text)
** I don't understand why my granddaughter is being charged for all of these things out of her deposit. I mean why would she have to pay for late fees and pet fines after she moved out? shouldn't that have been taken care of while she lived there? (Um yes. yes it should have. The fact that it wasn't taken care of is exactly why it is coming out of her deposit. )
** How is it my problem my room mate didn't pay his half of the rent. I paid mine. How can we be getting an eviction notice? (because only half the rent was paid. You still owe half the rent. Not sure how else to explain that)
This is just a fun sampling of ridiculous conversations I have been having. I truly fear for the future of our society. This is how people end up living on communes that have armed guards. They realize how insane everyone is and just decide to detach from everyone. I used to think it was extreme and that they were the insane ones. The longer I have this job the more it makes sense.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Paradise never lasts
I am back. :-( Been back at work for two days and they idiots have already washed away all of the relaxation I worked so hard on for two weeks. *sigh*
They broke multiple windows while I was gone. But of course none of them did and they don't know how it happened.
I have had multiple parents call about their kids move outs. Because of course their babies wouldn't do any of that. Thank God for pictures.
And my favorite call of today:
tenant: why are we being charged for a pet? I have never housed a pet.
me: I have seen a large dog there multiple times. I don't know which of you girls it was but I've seen one of you taking the dog out to walk on numerous occasions and the maintenance man has as well. It looked like it was part Shepard but I am not 100% sure. I stopped by one day to discuss it but no one was home and there was a dog barking inside so I didn't go in and leave a notice.
tenant: hmm. Well she was rarely home, if ever without one of us there, so I am not sure how you stopped by and heard her bark. (they really are this dumb) I mean I did dogsit for a friend who was out of town, quite a bit but I did not realize I needed to pay the pet deposit if the pet wasn't mine.
That is an actual texted conversation with a tenant from today. God I hate my job.
They broke multiple windows while I was gone. But of course none of them did and they don't know how it happened.
I have had multiple parents call about their kids move outs. Because of course their babies wouldn't do any of that. Thank God for pictures.
And my favorite call of today:
tenant: why are we being charged for a pet? I have never housed a pet.
me: I have seen a large dog there multiple times. I don't know which of you girls it was but I've seen one of you taking the dog out to walk on numerous occasions and the maintenance man has as well. It looked like it was part Shepard but I am not 100% sure. I stopped by one day to discuss it but no one was home and there was a dog barking inside so I didn't go in and leave a notice.
tenant: hmm. Well she was rarely home, if ever without one of us there, so I am not sure how you stopped by and heard her bark. (they really are this dumb) I mean I did dogsit for a friend who was out of town, quite a bit but I did not realize I needed to pay the pet deposit if the pet wasn't mine.
That is an actual texted conversation with a tenant from today. God I hate my job.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Poor thing
Not in my lawn chair yet. One more day of traveling. But the temp who is working my job when I am gone is fielding some super fun calls today. She's wants to know if it's always this crazy. Lol. Her day has been totally slow. Poor thing. Can't wait for her to take calls tomorrow. Friday is always insane. I'm just glad some one else sees that I am not making up how dumb these people are. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.
Monday, June 30, 2014
2 days
Completed all of the move out inspections on Saturday the 3rd. Only a couple really bad ones. Nothing too terrible to report. Finished most if the move ins last Thursday. Been dealing with non stop insanity since.
Just 2 days. Only 2 days before I get to escape. Once I am comfy in a lawn chair near the beach I will share some of the craziness. So much craziness.
2 days.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Round 2
Heading out to begin round 2 of summer mover outs. Thankfully I only have about 20 on this round. Should only take about 8 hours to get through them all instead of two days like round 1. But this round has some super fun stuff on it. some really delightful tenants. Can't wait. If things go really right I might even get to fight with a parent today about all the delightful things their precious did while they lived on our property. I can't wait to see what amazing things I get called today. I would love to hear some new ones. Feel free to shoot me a message if you have any good name ideas. I will be sure to pass them on as suggestions for my future tenants. I am hoping they get more creative than their usual. I am getting bored with the standard name calling.
12 more days to vacation if I don't count today. But who is counting?
12 more days to vacation if I don't count today. But who is counting?
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Flashback #4
So late one night back in February of 2013 I was awakened by the horrible sound that is my work ring tone. (It is the background noise for every bad dream I have. No joke.) It is the fire marshal.
Now it had been a long delightful little stretch of hardly any idiocy. We are talking maybe a whole month. I let down my guard. The hubs and I got a sitter and cab and went out for a little fun with friends. I had a few drinks. Got home about midnight, crawled in bed and drifted off into what I was hoping would be amazing sleep. I was supposed to get my hair done the next day at 9. What a great weekend. Date night with my man, a few drinks, getting my hair re fancified. Can't really hope for more. As always, hopes were shattered but the shrill bitch that is my phone.
I had been asleep for about and hour and half at this point so I was in pretty deep sleep. Top that with a couple cocktails and I was down right groggy. It was one of my tenants. We shall just call him tenant A. I actually liked this tenant so I can't bring myself to call him a name. He kept things kind of fun when he lived here. This is how the conversation went:
2:00 a.m.
Me: (in the most mumbled half asleep, tipsy tone ever) Hello
Tenant A: Don't freak out. (ok this is the worst possible thing to say to someone at 2 in the morning and I woke up pretty quickly)
Me: What now??????
Tenant A: (chuckles) Well we have a couple friends over and we think we might have broken something.
Me: Is it not something that can wait until morning? What did you do?!?!?!
Tenant A: Well a friend tried to swing from something and it broke. There was a little water but we cleaned it up. But they said we had to call and tell you about it. But, again, we cleaned it all up.
Me: Who is 'they' and what broke??
Tenant A: It is a fireman. But we cleaned it up.
Me: Why are there fireman there if you just broke something and what did you break that there is water everywhere?
Tenant A: We are in the garage so it isn't even inside the loft, so don't worry.
Me: Tell me what is happening right now.
Tenant A: It was just a small pipe, the firemen are still here, they say it is fine.
Me: Hand the phone to the nearest fireman. Now.
Tenant A: But . .
Me: NOW
Fireman: This is Fire Marshal Bill (hopefully some of you are old enough to understand why I laughed so hard I had to mute the phone)
Me: (struggling not to laugh) Can you please tell me what in the world is going on?
Fire Marshal Bill: It would appear the tenants were hosting a get together and one of them tried to stand on top of a large tv stand (would turn out later he actually stood on top of just the TV), and then jump off so that he could swing from a pipe in the rafter. The pipe was connected to a pressurized antifreeze fire sprinkler system and broke rather quickly flooding the garage. We got the call as soon as the pressure dropped and thought there was a fire. We responded with two trucks and an ambulance to find them frantically cleaning. (Later he told me that one of the was actually begging them not to call me.) I think you need to come down here and look at the damage now.
Me: Right now?
Fire Marshal Bill (literally can not type that with out laughing): Yes Mam. Now.
Me: Ok, I will down shortly.
I get up and get dressed. Sort of. I am still pretty out of it from being woken up so abruptly. I throw on the hubs sweats and his favorite old college sweatshirt and some warm shoes. It was about 40 degrees and raining out so it was a super lovely night to have head out sleepy at by now almost 2:30 in the morning. I drive down to their apartment. Thankfully they only lived about 10 minutes away.
I arrive and the official still there is Fire Marshal Bill. (hahaha) I realize, now that I am more awake after driving down there, that I look like a drunk sorority girl. Husbands sweats. Messy bed head. Faint smell of booze coming off me. Great. This is the first time I ever had to deal with the fire marshal and I look so unprofessional I could just shoot myself.
I have a very nice and polite chat with him and tells me everything he saw when he got there. The boys start to come over to talk with us and in my meanest mom voice I said no and put my hand up to stop them.
Me: No! You guys can just stand there and wait for me. No talking. No moving. Just wait. (shockingly they did it)
I finish up with the fire marshal and by the time I get over to the boys it is a little after 3:00 a.m. I had them lined up and literally just stood there and stared at them. Any time they tried to talk to me I just said no. Not yet. I made them stand there for about 5 minutes while I went from looking around the garage back to giving them my mom face back to looking at the damage then back to glaring and shaking my head, and so on and so forth. I was really doing them a favor because I could hear the people moving from their apartment to the one upstairs. I was trying to give them a little time to at lease hide the party. I am not all mean you know!
Finally. I decided to let them tell me their version. It was pretty honest and pretty funny. A drunk friend tried to climb on top of a rear projection TV and was acting like a monkey. He then jumped off the TV to try to reach the very high ceilings in the garage. Caught the pipe. It immediately broke and the kid fell down. I admit I laughed a little while they were telling me the story. These were not bad guys. Just 20 year old idiots being idiots. I checked out their whole apartment. No damage inside. It was all contained in the garage and they had cleaned up very quickly when it flooded. They ended up with a $1500 repair bill which they paid with no arguments.
Two of them later admitted that I scare the shit out of them so apparently the mom face works. Good to know.
I was pissed that I had to get up and lose sleep. I ended up canceling my hair appointment so that I could get some sleep since by the time I crawled back in bed it was nearly 4:00 a.m. Had to reschedule for later that month. That was a bummer. But these boys cleaned up their mess, paid their bill, and to be honest they kept me laughing the entire time they lived there. They did a lot of dumb stuff. But never anything worse than this. And this is the difference between good kids making a couple mistakes, and entitled assholes being destructive. It was all like this it might not be so bad.
Now it had been a long delightful little stretch of hardly any idiocy. We are talking maybe a whole month. I let down my guard. The hubs and I got a sitter and cab and went out for a little fun with friends. I had a few drinks. Got home about midnight, crawled in bed and drifted off into what I was hoping would be amazing sleep. I was supposed to get my hair done the next day at 9. What a great weekend. Date night with my man, a few drinks, getting my hair re fancified. Can't really hope for more. As always, hopes were shattered but the shrill bitch that is my phone.
I had been asleep for about and hour and half at this point so I was in pretty deep sleep. Top that with a couple cocktails and I was down right groggy. It was one of my tenants. We shall just call him tenant A. I actually liked this tenant so I can't bring myself to call him a name. He kept things kind of fun when he lived here. This is how the conversation went:
2:00 a.m.
Me: (in the most mumbled half asleep, tipsy tone ever) Hello
Tenant A: Don't freak out. (ok this is the worst possible thing to say to someone at 2 in the morning and I woke up pretty quickly)
Me: What now??????
Tenant A: (chuckles) Well we have a couple friends over and we think we might have broken something.
Me: Is it not something that can wait until morning? What did you do?!?!?!
Tenant A: Well a friend tried to swing from something and it broke. There was a little water but we cleaned it up. But they said we had to call and tell you about it. But, again, we cleaned it all up.
Me: Who is 'they' and what broke??
Tenant A: It is a fireman. But we cleaned it up.
Me: Why are there fireman there if you just broke something and what did you break that there is water everywhere?
Tenant A: We are in the garage so it isn't even inside the loft, so don't worry.
Me: Tell me what is happening right now.
Tenant A: It was just a small pipe, the firemen are still here, they say it is fine.
Me: Hand the phone to the nearest fireman. Now.
Tenant A: But . .
Me: NOW
Fireman: This is Fire Marshal Bill (hopefully some of you are old enough to understand why I laughed so hard I had to mute the phone)
Me: (struggling not to laugh) Can you please tell me what in the world is going on?
Fire Marshal Bill: It would appear the tenants were hosting a get together and one of them tried to stand on top of a large tv stand (would turn out later he actually stood on top of just the TV), and then jump off so that he could swing from a pipe in the rafter. The pipe was connected to a pressurized antifreeze fire sprinkler system and broke rather quickly flooding the garage. We got the call as soon as the pressure dropped and thought there was a fire. We responded with two trucks and an ambulance to find them frantically cleaning. (Later he told me that one of the was actually begging them not to call me.) I think you need to come down here and look at the damage now.
Me: Right now?
Fire Marshal Bill (literally can not type that with out laughing): Yes Mam. Now.
Me: Ok, I will down shortly.
I get up and get dressed. Sort of. I am still pretty out of it from being woken up so abruptly. I throw on the hubs sweats and his favorite old college sweatshirt and some warm shoes. It was about 40 degrees and raining out so it was a super lovely night to have head out sleepy at by now almost 2:30 in the morning. I drive down to their apartment. Thankfully they only lived about 10 minutes away.
I arrive and the official still there is Fire Marshal Bill. (hahaha) I realize, now that I am more awake after driving down there, that I look like a drunk sorority girl. Husbands sweats. Messy bed head. Faint smell of booze coming off me. Great. This is the first time I ever had to deal with the fire marshal and I look so unprofessional I could just shoot myself.
I have a very nice and polite chat with him and tells me everything he saw when he got there. The boys start to come over to talk with us and in my meanest mom voice I said no and put my hand up to stop them.
Me: No! You guys can just stand there and wait for me. No talking. No moving. Just wait. (shockingly they did it)
I finish up with the fire marshal and by the time I get over to the boys it is a little after 3:00 a.m. I had them lined up and literally just stood there and stared at them. Any time they tried to talk to me I just said no. Not yet. I made them stand there for about 5 minutes while I went from looking around the garage back to giving them my mom face back to looking at the damage then back to glaring and shaking my head, and so on and so forth. I was really doing them a favor because I could hear the people moving from their apartment to the one upstairs. I was trying to give them a little time to at lease hide the party. I am not all mean you know!
Finally. I decided to let them tell me their version. It was pretty honest and pretty funny. A drunk friend tried to climb on top of a rear projection TV and was acting like a monkey. He then jumped off the TV to try to reach the very high ceilings in the garage. Caught the pipe. It immediately broke and the kid fell down. I admit I laughed a little while they were telling me the story. These were not bad guys. Just 20 year old idiots being idiots. I checked out their whole apartment. No damage inside. It was all contained in the garage and they had cleaned up very quickly when it flooded. They ended up with a $1500 repair bill which they paid with no arguments.
Two of them later admitted that I scare the shit out of them so apparently the mom face works. Good to know.
I was pissed that I had to get up and lose sleep. I ended up canceling my hair appointment so that I could get some sleep since by the time I crawled back in bed it was nearly 4:00 a.m. Had to reschedule for later that month. That was a bummer. But these boys cleaned up their mess, paid their bill, and to be honest they kept me laughing the entire time they lived there. They did a lot of dumb stuff. But never anything worse than this. And this is the difference between good kids making a couple mistakes, and entitled assholes being destructive. It was all like this it might not be so bad.
16 days
A few delightful tidbits from what was otherwise and thankfully quiet weekend.
**Overly rude text demanding to know when the time frame in which they will be receiving their deposit check back. They don't move out until the end of July. Soooooo...... yeah...... It for sure won't be until after that. Thanks for asking.
**Mom calls to say her daughter needs out of her lease that begins in August and wants to know process for removing her from lease. Her daughter is having medical issues and will be staying at home for at least the first semester of this up coming college year. First I let her know that I am very sorry her daughter isn't feeling well and I wish her the best with whatever she will be doing to feel better. I then explain how the lease break process works and what we will need to do since she was on a lease with other girls. The mom responds by telling me that her daughters health issues (which she just told me about) are none of my concern and if I don't just take her daughter off the lease she will be calling her attorney. Why do I bother ever trying to be nice to these people??????
**I send out a property wide text to all of the people whose leases are up at the end of the month with reminders and I ask that if they will be out before their lease date is up that they let me know so I can get their walk-throughs done and get their stuff processed sooner. I get more than one response that says they will staying until the last possible minute because the effing paid for it and it is their space until that time. Good for you. Sorry I offered to get your stuff done before hand. Seriously!
Best part is my sunburn. I got to enjoy a lovely day poolside with my kids. Thankful the idiots kept their insanity to them selves for the most part, but a day without distraction + sun + pool = one sunburned mama. But hey, I am just working on my base tan for our family vacation.
16 more days.
**Overly rude text demanding to know when the time frame in which they will be receiving their deposit check back. They don't move out until the end of July. Soooooo...... yeah...... It for sure won't be until after that. Thanks for asking.
**Mom calls to say her daughter needs out of her lease that begins in August and wants to know process for removing her from lease. Her daughter is having medical issues and will be staying at home for at least the first semester of this up coming college year. First I let her know that I am very sorry her daughter isn't feeling well and I wish her the best with whatever she will be doing to feel better. I then explain how the lease break process works and what we will need to do since she was on a lease with other girls. The mom responds by telling me that her daughters health issues (which she just told me about) are none of my concern and if I don't just take her daughter off the lease she will be calling her attorney. Why do I bother ever trying to be nice to these people??????
**I send out a property wide text to all of the people whose leases are up at the end of the month with reminders and I ask that if they will be out before their lease date is up that they let me know so I can get their walk-throughs done and get their stuff processed sooner. I get more than one response that says they will staying until the last possible minute because the effing paid for it and it is their space until that time. Good for you. Sorry I offered to get your stuff done before hand. Seriously!
Best part is my sunburn. I got to enjoy a lovely day poolside with my kids. Thankful the idiots kept their insanity to them selves for the most part, but a day without distraction + sun + pool = one sunburned mama. But hey, I am just working on my base tan for our family vacation.
16 more days.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
23 days
Insanity. The mom who was so awful on Monday just called to apologize for being rude. Thankfully I didn't buy her BS. One second after her not so heartfelt apology she asked about the money she had demanded and immediately became hostile again. What was the point of the apology lady????? Why even waste your breath. Let the attorneys handle and let's not talk anymore. Thanks.
Summer is the worst here. During the fall, winter, and spring they just all do dumb things and say dumb things. But during the summer it is awful because it is all about money. They all think they are owed something even when they are not. The parents who I normally only talk to a couple times a week start calling everyday. The tenants move in and call daily with little things they need fixed. This one I don't mind as much because it is our job to fix the apartments and keep them nice. It is just when they call with a list of 20 things and they are rude, and half of the things are their fault. It is so much easier when it is just drunk antics.
Then maybe I can tell funny stories again.
I am going on vacation in just a few short weeks. My first real vacation in nearly 2 years. I am beyond ready. No angry people. No bitchy tenants. No crazy co-signors. No crabby maintenance man. (I should start an entire second blog about his insanity. For real.) Just my family. A possible cocktail while sunbathing. Many naps. . . I am pretty sure that is what heaven is like.
Just 23 days.
Summer is the worst here. During the fall, winter, and spring they just all do dumb things and say dumb things. But during the summer it is awful because it is all about money. They all think they are owed something even when they are not. The parents who I normally only talk to a couple times a week start calling everyday. The tenants move in and call daily with little things they need fixed. This one I don't mind as much because it is our job to fix the apartments and keep them nice. It is just when they call with a list of 20 things and they are rude, and half of the things are their fault. It is so much easier when it is just drunk antics.
Then maybe I can tell funny stories again.
I am going on vacation in just a few short weeks. My first real vacation in nearly 2 years. I am beyond ready. No angry people. No bitchy tenants. No crazy co-signors. No crabby maintenance man. (I should start an entire second blog about his insanity. For real.) Just my family. A possible cocktail while sunbathing. Many naps. . . I am pretty sure that is what heaven is like.
Just 23 days.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Karma
I have opened this multiple times in the last 24 hours and just not known what to say. I am usually making fun of the idiocy of my tenants and their parents. Never really all that serious. But yesterday for only the second time in almost 2 years, the were just so awful they actually made me cry.
We have been dealing with an on going issue (that I will eventually share but currently it is being handled by attorneys so I will wait to tell it as one crazy story when it is over) with some tenants that didn't even end up moving in. The issue is something we were trying to work with them to resolve. This is two girls moving into a very large, very nice unit. One of the girls had lived with us in a different building the previous year and was always kind of a disaster, but for some reason I had a soft spot for her. When she was having trouble with her uber mean room mates last year, I helped her find a solution that involved a crazy room mate swap. I didn't make them change leases, or pay anything crazy for the move. I just made it happen. I have let this girl sit in my office and cry just because she needed to. I don't do that. I am not that person. I have said over and over that I am not their mother, I am not their counselor, I am not their friend. But I made the mistake of actually liking this tenant. I accidentally gave a shit.
Yesterday her mother called me to discuss the on going issue and informed her daughter would not be living on any of our properties and would not be moving into this apartment. (all details will be shared at a later time) She proceeded to call me so many names and say such heinous things to me that I finally cried. She brought up my children. She addressed my skills as a parent. I have never met this woman in person. She told me I was a swindler and a liar and that I should be ashamed for leading impressionable young adults into such a terrible situation. She informed that I am a bad person and that I deserve whatever awful things come my way. This is all over $450 that she wants back. $450 is all it took for this woman to feel like she had the right to tear down another human.
I get threatened with lawyers all day. It is part of the awful nature of property management. I see insane things and deal with absurd situations daily. I fight about money constantly. I am used to people calling a Bitch. I have been called pretty much every name you can imagine. But this woman made it far more personal. She took the time out of her day to make sure I felt like the smallest person on the planet. I know that I shouldn't have let her get to me. I know I should have just given her my standard 'feel free to call our attorney'. But she knew just what to say to shut me down. I went home last night and could barely even function. Every time my kids were in the room I had to fight to not think about all the things this woman had said to me. A woman who doesn't even know me.
I am fighting right now, as I type this, to not feel the burn of the stuff she said. Not because it is true, but because it was just that mean and awful. I am truly shocked by the thing people are willing to say and do just to get their way. When it comes to my work I do everything according to the lease and according to our states landlord/tenant law. I do that specifically so that no matter what b.s. a tenant or their co-signors try to give me I know I am on the right side of the law. I know that when they make their idol threats it doesn't matter. This woman didn't want it to be about right vs wrong or about resolving the issue. She just wanted to make it about making another human feel bad so that she could feel better.
Well you win lady. I feel bad. I actually feel beyond bad. But I don't feel bad for you and now I sure as shit don't feel bad for your daughter. I feel bad because I allowed you to speak to me that way. I feel bad because I allowed it to effect me on such a level. I will get my shit together and move on. And I will just remember that Karma forgets nothing.
We have been dealing with an on going issue (that I will eventually share but currently it is being handled by attorneys so I will wait to tell it as one crazy story when it is over) with some tenants that didn't even end up moving in. The issue is something we were trying to work with them to resolve. This is two girls moving into a very large, very nice unit. One of the girls had lived with us in a different building the previous year and was always kind of a disaster, but for some reason I had a soft spot for her. When she was having trouble with her uber mean room mates last year, I helped her find a solution that involved a crazy room mate swap. I didn't make them change leases, or pay anything crazy for the move. I just made it happen. I have let this girl sit in my office and cry just because she needed to. I don't do that. I am not that person. I have said over and over that I am not their mother, I am not their counselor, I am not their friend. But I made the mistake of actually liking this tenant. I accidentally gave a shit.
Yesterday her mother called me to discuss the on going issue and informed her daughter would not be living on any of our properties and would not be moving into this apartment. (all details will be shared at a later time) She proceeded to call me so many names and say such heinous things to me that I finally cried. She brought up my children. She addressed my skills as a parent. I have never met this woman in person. She told me I was a swindler and a liar and that I should be ashamed for leading impressionable young adults into such a terrible situation. She informed that I am a bad person and that I deserve whatever awful things come my way. This is all over $450 that she wants back. $450 is all it took for this woman to feel like she had the right to tear down another human.
I get threatened with lawyers all day. It is part of the awful nature of property management. I see insane things and deal with absurd situations daily. I fight about money constantly. I am used to people calling a Bitch. I have been called pretty much every name you can imagine. But this woman made it far more personal. She took the time out of her day to make sure I felt like the smallest person on the planet. I know that I shouldn't have let her get to me. I know I should have just given her my standard 'feel free to call our attorney'. But she knew just what to say to shut me down. I went home last night and could barely even function. Every time my kids were in the room I had to fight to not think about all the things this woman had said to me. A woman who doesn't even know me.
I am fighting right now, as I type this, to not feel the burn of the stuff she said. Not because it is true, but because it was just that mean and awful. I am truly shocked by the thing people are willing to say and do just to get their way. When it comes to my work I do everything according to the lease and according to our states landlord/tenant law. I do that specifically so that no matter what b.s. a tenant or their co-signors try to give me I know I am on the right side of the law. I know that when they make their idol threats it doesn't matter. This woman didn't want it to be about right vs wrong or about resolving the issue. She just wanted to make it about making another human feel bad so that she could feel better.
Well you win lady. I feel bad. I actually feel beyond bad. But I don't feel bad for you and now I sure as shit don't feel bad for your daughter. I feel bad because I allowed you to speak to me that way. I feel bad because I allowed it to effect me on such a level. I will get my shit together and move on. And I will just remember that Karma forgets nothing.
Friday, June 13, 2014
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Flashback #3
So I started working here in September of 2012. We had two boys living in an apartment that were a total disaster. When I started they were over a month behind on rent and had a damage bill that was growing daily. The first day I was here I was told to call them to collect money and if they didn't answer I would need to go and knock on their door. That was how I was introduced to the wonderful world of property management. The boys did not pay that day. They did try to get caught up over the next couple months but were such a continuous disaster we were finally left with no choice but to evict them. Here are some of the highlights of their very short time on our property.
We will call them Idiot A and Idiot B.
Idiot A was only 18. And barely even. He turned 18 after he moved in. Idiot B was 19. (The property manager before was moron. She should have never let a 17 year move in. Especially not to such a nice place.)
One of the first encounters I had with them was on my first day. I went to their door to collect back rent. Idiot B answers the door in his underwear. The overwhelming smell of beer and cigs hit me in the face like a wall when they opened the door. Once I got past that we began discussing payment. He flat out told me that he would pay when he could and that today was not that day. Proceeded to fart extremely loudly, laugh hysterically, and slam the door in my face. Nice. I felt this was his amazing way of saying 'Welcome To Your New Job!' This was probably a good sign I should find another job, but I am a glutton for punishment, so I stayed.
About a week later, Idiot A calls me around midnight while he is wasted to tell me that all the lights are out in his loft and he demands someone come fix it. I asked him if he had checked his breaker box. He told me that wasn't his fucking job. I asked if he had paid his utility bill. He told me it was not of my business. I hung up and let him sit in the dark for the night. He called me back about 10 times but I didn't answer. Our maintenance man swung by in the morning and they had somehow thrown the main breaker in their apartment. The kid called me later and told me he was pissed we hadn't just done that the night before. Really? Seriously? At this point I asked my boss if it was always like this or these were just really bad tenants. He promised these were just really bad ones. I think he was trying not to scare me off in my first week.
About a week after that I go and knock on their door again to try and collect some rent money. When Idiot A opens the door a dog runs out, poops on the side walk next to me and then runs back into the apartment. The kids yells good boy and the dog. I told him he would need to pick up the poo. He said that he didn't have a dog so it couldn't be his problem. True story. Having only been working here for two weeks I was so flustered but the level of rudeness and lying that I just left. No money in hand, pile of poo on the side walk. I of course begin to get calls in minutes from the neighbors complaining about the poo which my maintenance man also refuses to pick up. FML. Guess who cleaned up the poo?
Later that same week, Idiot B calls to tell me that their toilet is clogged and so is the kitchen sink. It is about 3 in the afternoon and he sounds hammer already. I tell him I will get someone there as soon as I can and I try to talk to him about the back rent owed. He tells me he won't talk about money until the toilet is fixed. Then tells me it has been clogged for days and it is now 'fucking up his game with the ladies'. Yep. I am sure the clogged toilet is your problem buddy.
By this time I have worked here about a month and they have brought in some money but still aren't caught up. I beg my boss to evict them. He wanted to wait. No idea why.
Sometime in early October the boys threw a party. They ended up throwing someone through the front window and an all out brawl broke out in the lot. The police came and broke up the party and found that all of their 16 and 17 year old friends were there. Thankfully this helped with my eviction begging and we began the process. Now this is a process that takes a little time. As soon as the boys found out they were getting evicted they amped up the insanity. They partied every night. I was getting awakened by the police and the neighbors at all hours to here about the insanity.
We finally contact the boys parents to tell them what is going on because we doubt they are aware. Wrong. One of the mothers is semi apologetic but lets me know they are coming down that weekend to move out their son. That would be Idiot B's parents. They however, can't believe we can't just wait until Christmas break when it would be more convenient for them to make the two hour drive to get his things. Sure lady, we will wait three more months for your non rent paying son to destroy an apartment. Ok.
Idiot A's parents said I was lying and they were going to sue us for illegally kicking out their son. Remember A is the young one. They actually used the phrase 'my baby wouldn't do that'. (which is why we love that phrase around here!) Well Idiot A's parents came down to get his things and got here a day early before he could hide the disaster that is his life. They found him wasted and passed out on his couch. Saw the insane amount of dog poo that was outside his front door because the boys were too lazy to walk the dog, and saw the beer bottles, booze bottles, and body sized holes in the walls. She also saw that doors were off the hinges and the front window was broken for the second time in two months. She was kind enough to apologize to me.
The boys moved out, and we got a judgment against them and we are still getting garnishment checks from Idiot B's paychecks because his parents wouldn't pay to clean up his idiocy and he was too dumb to just pay for it on his own.
Why oh why did I not quit then?
I am leaving out so much from this story. Like the Federal Marshal's, the burning car, the peeing on doors . . . This would be the longest post ever if I included it all. But needless to say it was quite the welcome to this place.
We will call them Idiot A and Idiot B.
Idiot A was only 18. And barely even. He turned 18 after he moved in. Idiot B was 19. (The property manager before was moron. She should have never let a 17 year move in. Especially not to such a nice place.)
One of the first encounters I had with them was on my first day. I went to their door to collect back rent. Idiot B answers the door in his underwear. The overwhelming smell of beer and cigs hit me in the face like a wall when they opened the door. Once I got past that we began discussing payment. He flat out told me that he would pay when he could and that today was not that day. Proceeded to fart extremely loudly, laugh hysterically, and slam the door in my face. Nice. I felt this was his amazing way of saying 'Welcome To Your New Job!' This was probably a good sign I should find another job, but I am a glutton for punishment, so I stayed.
About a week later, Idiot A calls me around midnight while he is wasted to tell me that all the lights are out in his loft and he demands someone come fix it. I asked him if he had checked his breaker box. He told me that wasn't his fucking job. I asked if he had paid his utility bill. He told me it was not of my business. I hung up and let him sit in the dark for the night. He called me back about 10 times but I didn't answer. Our maintenance man swung by in the morning and they had somehow thrown the main breaker in their apartment. The kid called me later and told me he was pissed we hadn't just done that the night before. Really? Seriously? At this point I asked my boss if it was always like this or these were just really bad tenants. He promised these were just really bad ones. I think he was trying not to scare me off in my first week.
About a week after that I go and knock on their door again to try and collect some rent money. When Idiot A opens the door a dog runs out, poops on the side walk next to me and then runs back into the apartment. The kids yells good boy and the dog. I told him he would need to pick up the poo. He said that he didn't have a dog so it couldn't be his problem. True story. Having only been working here for two weeks I was so flustered but the level of rudeness and lying that I just left. No money in hand, pile of poo on the side walk. I of course begin to get calls in minutes from the neighbors complaining about the poo which my maintenance man also refuses to pick up. FML. Guess who cleaned up the poo?
Later that same week, Idiot B calls to tell me that their toilet is clogged and so is the kitchen sink. It is about 3 in the afternoon and he sounds hammer already. I tell him I will get someone there as soon as I can and I try to talk to him about the back rent owed. He tells me he won't talk about money until the toilet is fixed. Then tells me it has been clogged for days and it is now 'fucking up his game with the ladies'. Yep. I am sure the clogged toilet is your problem buddy.
By this time I have worked here about a month and they have brought in some money but still aren't caught up. I beg my boss to evict them. He wanted to wait. No idea why.
Sometime in early October the boys threw a party. They ended up throwing someone through the front window and an all out brawl broke out in the lot. The police came and broke up the party and found that all of their 16 and 17 year old friends were there. Thankfully this helped with my eviction begging and we began the process. Now this is a process that takes a little time. As soon as the boys found out they were getting evicted they amped up the insanity. They partied every night. I was getting awakened by the police and the neighbors at all hours to here about the insanity.
We finally contact the boys parents to tell them what is going on because we doubt they are aware. Wrong. One of the mothers is semi apologetic but lets me know they are coming down that weekend to move out their son. That would be Idiot B's parents. They however, can't believe we can't just wait until Christmas break when it would be more convenient for them to make the two hour drive to get his things. Sure lady, we will wait three more months for your non rent paying son to destroy an apartment. Ok.
Idiot A's parents said I was lying and they were going to sue us for illegally kicking out their son. Remember A is the young one. They actually used the phrase 'my baby wouldn't do that'. (which is why we love that phrase around here!) Well Idiot A's parents came down to get his things and got here a day early before he could hide the disaster that is his life. They found him wasted and passed out on his couch. Saw the insane amount of dog poo that was outside his front door because the boys were too lazy to walk the dog, and saw the beer bottles, booze bottles, and body sized holes in the walls. She also saw that doors were off the hinges and the front window was broken for the second time in two months. She was kind enough to apologize to me.
The boys moved out, and we got a judgment against them and we are still getting garnishment checks from Idiot B's paychecks because his parents wouldn't pay to clean up his idiocy and he was too dumb to just pay for it on his own.
Why oh why did I not quit then?
I am leaving out so much from this story. Like the Federal Marshal's, the burning car, the peeing on doors . . . This would be the longest post ever if I included it all. But needless to say it was quite the welcome to this place.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Wow
Holy Crap. I feel like I should call the crazy wagon to pick up the parent I just spoke to. Wait for it.
A woman we shall refer to as Satan for this story, called me earlier and left a message wanting some information on her sons lease that she just co-signed. I returned her call a few minutes ago, and let me tell you it has been an interesting 10 minutes in my life.
Ring ring ring. . .
Satan: Hi there Jane, I need a bit of information regarding this lease. I need to know where to send it (the address is listed on the front page) and I just had a few questions about that actual unit they will be living in since I haven't seen it yet.
Me: Absolutely. (give her the address and specs on the unit) I can also open up some photos of the unit online for about 20 minutes so you can see it. I don't like to leave them up too long because I will get tons of calls from people who think it is available since it is one of our nicest units.
Satan: Thank you that would be lovely. Can you just open them now and I will look at them tonight?
Me: What time do you think you will look at them and I will open them up at that time, I don't like to leave them up too long because I will get tons of calls from people who think it is available since it is one of our nicest units.
Satan: (Heavy sigh) It's fine, I guess I will just see it when I move my son in this August. Can I just bring you his rent at the time of move in.
Me: (now confused about the pictures online and why that was so difficult) Well his lease started the first of this month so if you could mail June now with the lease, July at the time it is due, you can bring the August rent when he moves in so long as it is in on time.
Satan: He isn't living there this summer, so why should I pay rent for those months? He replaced someone on this lease isn't this rent their problem?
Me: Well his name is on the lease as of June first so he is responsible for the rent whether he choses to stay there or not. (I said this as politely as I could, truly. I was so confused by this point because she was being extremely hostile, all I could do was be nice and just keep explaining things because clearly this woman wasn't understanding)
Satan: How dare you attack me and be so rude! My son just signed this lease, how could it have started at the beginning of this month?? I know how these things work and you are just trying to manipulate me.
Me: Ma'm, I am not sure how you think I attacked you (my confusion is just escalating by now.) Your sons lease began on June 1 and he owes June rent. That is not me being rude that is fact. And I just pulled out the actual lease and he signed it back in April. I am sorry that he is just now giving it to you. Do you have the copy of the lease in front of you mam?
Satan: (screaming at his point) I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SPEAK TO ME THIS WAY. I AM GOING TO HAVE MY ATTORNEY GET YOU FOR THIS. THIS LEASE ISN'T EVEN BINDING. YOU DON'T HAVE THE CO-SIGNATURE YET. YOU CAN'T ENFORCE ANY OF THIS. YOU ARE THE RUDEST PERSON I HAVE EVER SPOKEN TO.
Me: Ma'm I am very confuse right now. I don't understand what you are upset about. (speaking as clamly as I can, and being as polite as I can because her insanity is literally scaring the shit out of me at this point) I am only giving you the facts of the lease. He signed it in April and I went over it all with him before he signed. He knew his lease started in June. I am not sure why he is just now giving it to you, you will need to ask him that. Also, it is actually a binding contract because your son is 20. He was not coerced in to signing. He is not a minor. If you will turn to the front page of the lease it has the lease term dates at the very top. In the middle of the page it goes over when rent is due and how late fees work. I can gladly go over it with you.
Satan: (by now completely hysterical) WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE EVIL AND MEAN AND YOU CAN NOT SPEAK LIKE THIS TO ME!
Me: Ma'm I am very confused by this conversation. I think we may need to end it now. If you feel you need to speak to your attorney I can give you all of my contact information and I can give you our lawyers info as well. I want to be helpful but you are not making any sense and I am not sure what else I can do. At no point have I attacked you, been rude, or raised my voice. You are the one yelling and calling me names. If you would like to calm down and call me back I can gladly help you to understand the lease and all of the rent due dates.
SATAN: (screaming the loudest she has screamed so far)YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT ATTACK ME AND YELL AT ME SINCE YOU CALLED ME. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU EVEN CALLED ME IF THIS IS ALL YOU ARE GOING TO DO (remember I was returning her call)YOU WILL PROBABLY NEXT TELL ME YOU EXPECT ME TO PAY A LATE FEE. THIS IS SO UNLAWFUL. I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU REGRET HOW RUDE YOU HAVE BEEN TO ME. I AM CALLING MY ATTORNEY AND MY HUSBAND AS SOON AS WE HANG UP!
Me: Ma'm I am getting off the phone now. I do not understand any of this.
SATAN: YOU CAN NOT HANG UP ON ME!!!! THIS TREATMENT IS RIDICULOUS!!! YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM MY ATTORNEY IN THE NEAR FUTURE.
At this point Satan slams down the phone and I am left speechless. I checked with my book keeper who was in her office to make sure she had heard the conversation so that I had proof that I had never raised my voice, attacked her, or called her a name. Thank God I will have back up. This was quite possible the craziest conversation I have had since I started working here. And I have had some crazy talks.
A woman we shall refer to as Satan for this story, called me earlier and left a message wanting some information on her sons lease that she just co-signed. I returned her call a few minutes ago, and let me tell you it has been an interesting 10 minutes in my life.
Ring ring ring. . .
Satan: Hi there Jane, I need a bit of information regarding this lease. I need to know where to send it (the address is listed on the front page) and I just had a few questions about that actual unit they will be living in since I haven't seen it yet.
Me: Absolutely. (give her the address and specs on the unit) I can also open up some photos of the unit online for about 20 minutes so you can see it. I don't like to leave them up too long because I will get tons of calls from people who think it is available since it is one of our nicest units.
Satan: Thank you that would be lovely. Can you just open them now and I will look at them tonight?
Me: What time do you think you will look at them and I will open them up at that time, I don't like to leave them up too long because I will get tons of calls from people who think it is available since it is one of our nicest units.
Satan: (Heavy sigh) It's fine, I guess I will just see it when I move my son in this August. Can I just bring you his rent at the time of move in.
Me: (now confused about the pictures online and why that was so difficult) Well his lease started the first of this month so if you could mail June now with the lease, July at the time it is due, you can bring the August rent when he moves in so long as it is in on time.
Satan: He isn't living there this summer, so why should I pay rent for those months? He replaced someone on this lease isn't this rent their problem?
Me: Well his name is on the lease as of June first so he is responsible for the rent whether he choses to stay there or not. (I said this as politely as I could, truly. I was so confused by this point because she was being extremely hostile, all I could do was be nice and just keep explaining things because clearly this woman wasn't understanding)
Satan: How dare you attack me and be so rude! My son just signed this lease, how could it have started at the beginning of this month?? I know how these things work and you are just trying to manipulate me.
Me: Ma'm, I am not sure how you think I attacked you (my confusion is just escalating by now.) Your sons lease began on June 1 and he owes June rent. That is not me being rude that is fact. And I just pulled out the actual lease and he signed it back in April. I am sorry that he is just now giving it to you. Do you have the copy of the lease in front of you mam?
Satan: (screaming at his point) I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SPEAK TO ME THIS WAY. I AM GOING TO HAVE MY ATTORNEY GET YOU FOR THIS. THIS LEASE ISN'T EVEN BINDING. YOU DON'T HAVE THE CO-SIGNATURE YET. YOU CAN'T ENFORCE ANY OF THIS. YOU ARE THE RUDEST PERSON I HAVE EVER SPOKEN TO.
Me: Ma'm I am very confuse right now. I don't understand what you are upset about. (speaking as clamly as I can, and being as polite as I can because her insanity is literally scaring the shit out of me at this point) I am only giving you the facts of the lease. He signed it in April and I went over it all with him before he signed. He knew his lease started in June. I am not sure why he is just now giving it to you, you will need to ask him that. Also, it is actually a binding contract because your son is 20. He was not coerced in to signing. He is not a minor. If you will turn to the front page of the lease it has the lease term dates at the very top. In the middle of the page it goes over when rent is due and how late fees work. I can gladly go over it with you.
Satan: (by now completely hysterical) WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE EVIL AND MEAN AND YOU CAN NOT SPEAK LIKE THIS TO ME!
Me: Ma'm I am very confused by this conversation. I think we may need to end it now. If you feel you need to speak to your attorney I can give you all of my contact information and I can give you our lawyers info as well. I want to be helpful but you are not making any sense and I am not sure what else I can do. At no point have I attacked you, been rude, or raised my voice. You are the one yelling and calling me names. If you would like to calm down and call me back I can gladly help you to understand the lease and all of the rent due dates.
SATAN: (screaming the loudest she has screamed so far)YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT ATTACK ME AND YELL AT ME SINCE YOU CALLED ME. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU EVEN CALLED ME IF THIS IS ALL YOU ARE GOING TO DO (remember I was returning her call)YOU WILL PROBABLY NEXT TELL ME YOU EXPECT ME TO PAY A LATE FEE. THIS IS SO UNLAWFUL. I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU REGRET HOW RUDE YOU HAVE BEEN TO ME. I AM CALLING MY ATTORNEY AND MY HUSBAND AS SOON AS WE HANG UP!
Me: Ma'm I am getting off the phone now. I do not understand any of this.
SATAN: YOU CAN NOT HANG UP ON ME!!!! THIS TREATMENT IS RIDICULOUS!!! YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM MY ATTORNEY IN THE NEAR FUTURE.
At this point Satan slams down the phone and I am left speechless. I checked with my book keeper who was in her office to make sure she had heard the conversation so that I had proof that I had never raised my voice, attacked her, or called her a name. Thank God I will have back up. This was quite possible the craziest conversation I have had since I started working here. And I have had some crazy talks.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Daring to believe
Almost all the way done with all these crazy people moving out and new ones moving in. I must say I have high hopes for this lease term. I feel like we might actually have a fairly decent group of people. Nice mix of college kids, young professionals, and even some real grown ups. So exciting.
Still have a few empty units. That is stressful. I have my boss freaking out because we have 8 empty units (out of 125) I am on a mission to get up to 100% leased. But this year is a hard year.
In this lovely town of mine we have gone from about 350 units in this area, up to 500 units and we are awaiting nearly 900 more units/beds to open up in the next year. All of this in a very small part of town. This area is having a huge boom which is great, but people around here don't seem to understand that if you build it, and there aren't enough people to fill them . . . Well at some point one of the builders will have to realize the market is a big saturated.
College towns like ours are into this new by the bed rental set-up. The company I work for doesn't participate in it. Basically it is a four bedroom apartment. Fully furnished (Gross). Each bedroom is on it's own lease and they share the living room and kitchen. Usually what happens is 4 friends go in on an apartment together and they don't have to share with strangers. But if one breaks a lease, the owners of these properties have every right to put whoever they want into that bedroom. Also if only 2 or 3 friends want to go on a lease they can fill the other spots with people who don't have room mates. This sounds like the most awful living situation ever. Truly. But everyone went nuts for it.
All the college kids who don't want to live on campus that usually flock to this part of town to live and party started getting all excited about these new places. We began to worry about all these new units/beds going in around the area. These kids love a shiny new toy. And we are not new. I kept looking at my 8 units I don't have lease yet. (only 2 of them are actually empty right now, I have 6 that just don't have the next lease term filled) I have had heartburn. I haven't been able to sleep. I like to see all of my places leased up. One less thing for me to worry about. I just knew all these other places were full. How was I going find anyone to lease our stuff when they all had gone to live at all these new places (which aren't all by the bed rentals, some of them are very nice new apartments and lofts).
Yesterday I was showing some places to some potential tenants. They brought along a friend. He happens to manage one of these places. He and I got to talking. They are only 50% leased. Whaaaaaat?????? Then he told me two of the other new buildings are about the same. I am at about 95% and I am stressing. And they are only at 50%??? Let me just tell you I kind of feel like a bad ass now.
Then this poor guy starts telling me about his new tenants. And how they are all fighting about who they are living with, and how they are so rude, they complain about everything . . . Oh this poor guy. Didn't have the heart to tell him that I had quite a few idiots move over there. Guessing they are now making him crazy.
Maybe this year really will be better. Do I dare to believe it?
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Our future is bleak
I can assure you my lack of posts has nothing to do with my tenants behaving. I have just been too busy this week with people moving out and getting the lofts turned and getting people moved back in. The idiots are still idiots. Here are a few snippits of my week so far. I will expand on them later:
**A tenant informs us his smoke detector is beeping and he has the battery to change it (we change them if they are up to high for them to reach. Some of our units have 20 ft ceilings) He tells us it is weird, because normally he can just throw a shoe at it and it stops beeping, but this time it wouldn't stop. I ask him if there are marks on the wall where he has been throwing things at it and he says yes, but that it is our fault since his smoke detector was beeping. Ok. Sure. It is my fault you are too lazy and stupid to make sure your smoke detectors work. Let's go with that.
**A tenant texted me and asked for our mailing address. I give it to her. It is a PO box. She texts back and asks if it should be addressed to me. I say no, address it to the company at that address. She texts me again a few minutes later and says she is confused. Should she address it to the PO box or to the company. I literally had to explain to her how to write and address on an envelope. She is 20. This is our future.
**A tenant texted me the other day at around 7 in the evening and asked for the phone number for the cable company. I offered (very sarcastically) to google it for him. He said ok. Seriously. He wanted me to look up a phone number for him. For the record I did not look it up. Again, this person is 20.
**Had some girls move into a large apartment on Tuesday. Yesterday their dad called and freaked out on me. Because they told him they found a dead body outside their apartment on the side walk. I also freaked out. Obviously. That was probably terrifying. Poor girls. They said it was a hit and run and they man died right there in front of their door. . . . . . . . . Bet you can guess what I am going to say next . . . . . . . . Lies. All lies. Someone was hit by a car, were taken to the hospital, and will be fine. I called the police to get all of this info. Who makes something like that up????????? My tenants. That's who.
Needless to say I am so glad tomorrow is Friday. I need a break from this place.
**A tenant informs us his smoke detector is beeping and he has the battery to change it (we change them if they are up to high for them to reach. Some of our units have 20 ft ceilings) He tells us it is weird, because normally he can just throw a shoe at it and it stops beeping, but this time it wouldn't stop. I ask him if there are marks on the wall where he has been throwing things at it and he says yes, but that it is our fault since his smoke detector was beeping. Ok. Sure. It is my fault you are too lazy and stupid to make sure your smoke detectors work. Let's go with that.
**A tenant texted me and asked for our mailing address. I give it to her. It is a PO box. She texts back and asks if it should be addressed to me. I say no, address it to the company at that address. She texts me again a few minutes later and says she is confused. Should she address it to the PO box or to the company. I literally had to explain to her how to write and address on an envelope. She is 20. This is our future.
**A tenant texted me the other day at around 7 in the evening and asked for the phone number for the cable company. I offered (very sarcastically) to google it for him. He said ok. Seriously. He wanted me to look up a phone number for him. For the record I did not look it up. Again, this person is 20.
**Had some girls move into a large apartment on Tuesday. Yesterday their dad called and freaked out on me. Because they told him they found a dead body outside their apartment on the side walk. I also freaked out. Obviously. That was probably terrifying. Poor girls. They said it was a hit and run and they man died right there in front of their door. . . . . . . . . Bet you can guess what I am going to say next . . . . . . . . Lies. All lies. Someone was hit by a car, were taken to the hospital, and will be fine. I called the police to get all of this info. Who makes something like that up????????? My tenants. That's who.
Needless to say I am so glad tomorrow is Friday. I need a break from this place.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Tardiness
No. Just don't be late. It's rude. It's unprofessional. It creates chaos. It's stressful. It's immature.
ANNOYED!!!!!!!!!! That is all.
Monday, June 2, 2014
Oh Monday, how I love thee
It isn't even noon yet and so far I have been called a multitude of names and someone has let me know they are suing us. The day started out so wonderfully with a sweet note on my night stand from my sweet daughter. I had high hopes for today, which the idiots who live in idiotville are quickly shattering. Once I get an answer from our attorney, I will share the story of why we are being threatened with a lawsuit this time. In the mean time I am wondering what time the smoothie place a couple blocks away opens. And by smoothie I mean booze filled frozen concoctions that I like to pretend are healthy because they taste like fruit. Please say a small prayer for me. This week is looking to be just super.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Round one over
38 units inspected. May move out inspections completed. Still fairly surprised. Maybe all of my getting on to them finally got through to them. Doubtful. But possible. I did have a super fun parent today who demanded to know how much his son was getting back as I was doing the inspection. After repeatedly trying to explain to him that I won't know until I process everything I just started giving a blank silent stare. He left pretty angry. But the point is he left. :-) I might try the silent thing more often. I can only repeat the same stuff so many times.
Now to prep 38 apartments in 5 days. Should be super fun. Can't wait to see what awesome things we find that were hidden. There is always something. . .
Now to prep 38 apartments in 5 days. Should be super fun. Can't wait to see what awesome things we find that were hidden. There is always something. . .
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Spare me. Please.
12 hours and then some. I'm freaking exhausted. But I only was called names once today. Shocking. Still have about 13 more units tomorrow. My feet hurt. I hate everyone. And even without name calling most of them were rude.
Here's the deal children: You do your part and clean up your own mess and don't behave like privileged, entitled, dipshits and things will go much better for you in life. Trust me.
Move out day!
I am heading out of my office to begin the craziness that is move out day. I will walk through and inspect about 40 apartments in the next 2 days. Most of them happening today. Don't get too excited, but I take pictures. I am hoping and praying that nothing too interesting happens, but we shall see. . .
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Thank you notes
Today a thoughtful tenant, who has owed us money for almost a year, kindly included a congratulatory thank you note with his check. The check he only sent because our lawyer contacted him.
I understand all of his anger since we made them pay for the apartment they destroyed. We truly are bastards. And I must have skipped the day in ethics where they taught us the part about how we shouldn't expect payment in a timely manor when it's owed. Damn it. This must be the whole problem.
I also gave he and his room mates a break if they would pay quickly. Unappreciative, entitled little jerks. I like the part we he basically admits his parents pay his bills. You know because we are stealing poor college kids parents money. Not his money. The urge to scream is strong.
I also gave he and his room mates a break if they would pay quickly. Unappreciative, entitled little jerks. I like the part we he basically admits his parents pay his bills. You know because we are stealing poor college kids parents money. Not his money. The urge to scream is strong.Back at work. Yuck.
Well it was a lovely weekend. Almost all of the tenants have either moved out or were of town somewhere getting hammered and destroying someone else's property. So all was quiet here, which allowed for a nice little break. Three days with friends and family is my idea of perfection. But, alas, I had to return to Idiotville today. God for bid I get to enjoy more than two days off in a row.
Two of my favorite calls today in the midst of the insanity that always happens right before move outs start (round one of lease's ending starts tomorrow) were the following.
One is from a dad who we shall call Redneck Pete. Pete is upset that his daughters lease (that she signed last December during pre-leasing) doesn't begin until the 3rd. Apparently he is just now reading the lease that he co-signed and decided to wait until the week before it begins. He says that the 3rd falls on a Tuesday and surely I have lots of upset people since it isn't on a weekend. Why can't it just be the first??
I explained that all our leases begin on the 3rd of a month and end on the 28th of a month. It gives us 5 days or so to flip the units for the next tenants.
He is still upset since I don't seem to understand that the 3rd is on a Tuesday. People have to work. I explain that I can't control what day of the week any particular day falls on. He assures me that if our leases just started on the first then people could move in on the weekends and that would be easier. I am still not sure how to explain to him that the first can and actually has fallen on a week day before and no matter what the date is that a lease starts there is always the potential for it to be on a weekday. He told me I must just be too dumb to understand what he was saying. Sure. That was the problem.
Second favorite call of the day is from a mom who says her son has already moved out and she will be needing his deposit back now. Can she just stop by the office and pick it up? Ummmm..... no. There are still two people living there and his lease isn't even up until tomorrow. I will need to do the inspection on the loft before I can refund anything. And your son and his friends have multiple fines and fees on their account that will have to come out of the deposit before I can refund anything. She assures me she will not be paying for anything that he and his friends did while they were living there. I tell her that is fine, I will take what I can from the deposit, if it is more than that I will send her a bill. She can make her own choices from there, since she is a co-signer and if we had to go to court she would be included in the case. She again assures me that I won't see a dime and she is demanding his deposit back in full. I should just say "ok. Here is all his money. No it is ok that he always paid rent late, and we totally don't mind that he had a dog that he paid no pet deposit on, and we love that we have to replace two doors and all the blinds in the apartment. We would love for that to just be on us. Really. I think that we would really be teaching him a valuable lesson by rewarding his idiocy." Sadly, she would probably agree.
I can't wait for the 80 million phone calls that will come in all summer when people don't like what they get back from their deposit. Even if they get back 80% of it they just aren't happy. They think we should just cover the cost of everything they do. Yet another fine lesson from parents. Who in all reality will probably be the ones calling and complaining. Effing enablers.
Two of my favorite calls today in the midst of the insanity that always happens right before move outs start (round one of lease's ending starts tomorrow) were the following.
One is from a dad who we shall call Redneck Pete. Pete is upset that his daughters lease (that she signed last December during pre-leasing) doesn't begin until the 3rd. Apparently he is just now reading the lease that he co-signed and decided to wait until the week before it begins. He says that the 3rd falls on a Tuesday and surely I have lots of upset people since it isn't on a weekend. Why can't it just be the first??
I explained that all our leases begin on the 3rd of a month and end on the 28th of a month. It gives us 5 days or so to flip the units for the next tenants.
He is still upset since I don't seem to understand that the 3rd is on a Tuesday. People have to work. I explain that I can't control what day of the week any particular day falls on. He assures me that if our leases just started on the first then people could move in on the weekends and that would be easier. I am still not sure how to explain to him that the first can and actually has fallen on a week day before and no matter what the date is that a lease starts there is always the potential for it to be on a weekday. He told me I must just be too dumb to understand what he was saying. Sure. That was the problem.
Second favorite call of the day is from a mom who says her son has already moved out and she will be needing his deposit back now. Can she just stop by the office and pick it up? Ummmm..... no. There are still two people living there and his lease isn't even up until tomorrow. I will need to do the inspection on the loft before I can refund anything. And your son and his friends have multiple fines and fees on their account that will have to come out of the deposit before I can refund anything. She assures me she will not be paying for anything that he and his friends did while they were living there. I tell her that is fine, I will take what I can from the deposit, if it is more than that I will send her a bill. She can make her own choices from there, since she is a co-signer and if we had to go to court she would be included in the case. She again assures me that I won't see a dime and she is demanding his deposit back in full. I should just say "ok. Here is all his money. No it is ok that he always paid rent late, and we totally don't mind that he had a dog that he paid no pet deposit on, and we love that we have to replace two doors and all the blinds in the apartment. We would love for that to just be on us. Really. I think that we would really be teaching him a valuable lesson by rewarding his idiocy." Sadly, she would probably agree.
I can't wait for the 80 million phone calls that will come in all summer when people don't like what they get back from their deposit. Even if they get back 80% of it they just aren't happy. They think we should just cover the cost of everything they do. Yet another fine lesson from parents. Who in all reality will probably be the ones calling and complaining. Effing enablers.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Flashback #2
So last fall I received on of my favorite calls ever. A tenant, male about age 20 who we will call Bob, calls to tell me his hot water heater has stopped working. Perfectly normal call you would think, but as always, my genius tenant kept it interesting. Here is the basic conversation:.
Bob: My water furnace has stopped working.
Me: Your what?
Bob: My water furnace. You know the thing that heats my water. (said as rudely as possible)
Me: Oh, Your water heater? (said as nicely as I could handle without actually just laughing out loud at him)
Bob: Sure, whatever, my water heater.
Me: I can put in a work order but since it is the weekend I am not sure how long it will take me to get some one there.
Bob: Well I need some one to come right now. I called my brother and he says the pie light is most likely out and I think there is gas leaking into my loft and I'm worried that it is dangerous.
Me: (After putting the phone on mute so I could get a grip from the laughter) Well I think you mean pilot light not pie light. And your water heater is actually electric so there would not be gas leaking out. I am guessing you have just thrown a breaker and if I could walk you through it, you could probably reset it yourself. I will still put in a work order and have it checked out, but I could at least get you some hot water in the mean time.
Bob: Look, I understand how these things work. You will not trick me into thinking there is not gas in my loft. This is dangerous. I am going to call the authorities and tell them you are allowing us to live in a dangerous environment.
Me: I can give you the number for city utilities if you would like to call them and tell them your electric water heater is leaking gas. You can call me back after you call them I can gladly walk you through how to check the breakers.
Bob: I am not touching the electricity box. I am not getting electrocuted.
Me: You will not get electrocuted but checking the breaker box.
Bob: Why can't you just send someone to deal with this?? I pay a lot of money to live here and this is ridiculous. (He was behind on rent and had insane amounts of late fees, and fines from trashing the building during an obnoxious party)
Me: I said I would put in a work order I was just trying to help you get it resolved quicker.
Bob: I really feel like I should just contact my attorney. This is ridiculous that you won't fix it.
Me: Again, I said I could put in a work order, but it is Saturday. And cold water isn't an emergency so I am not sure how long you would have to wait for someone to get there.
Bob: I want it fixed within the hour or I am calling my dad. (again this is a 20 year old male)
Me: Please call him and give him my number. I would love to talk to you dad about the pie light on your water furnace. (by this time I had put on my shoes and left to drive down to the apartment to flip the breaker for him)
Bob: Are you mocking me.
Me: Of course not I am just trying to help you understand that you can fix it yourself very easily without waiting for someone to come.
Bob: F*&k you. (hangs up phone)
2 minutes later as I am driving to the apartment he calls back
Bob: I just wanted you to know I have left a message with the gas department. I think you should be expecting their call (they called, we laughed)
Me: I will gladly speak to them when they call (by this time I am being as overly nice as I can just to irritate him) Also, I am on my way to your apartment to fix the issue myself so that you don't have to wait for hot water.
Bob: I don't want you to come. I want you to do your f*&king job and call a professional.
Me: It is me or it could be until Monday.
Bob: This place is a sham. (hangs up)
I arrive to the apartment. I knock, no one answers so I let myself in. They are just sitting on the couch watching TV.
Me: I am going to fix your water heater.
Bob: If you ruin anything you will f*&king pay for it.
Me: I believe the response you were looking for was 'thank you for getting out on a Saturday to fix something I could have fixed myself'
Bob: You are such a bitch.
Me: I try
I open the closet with the breaker box and none of them have tripped. I open the closet with the water heater in it and try to call him over to show him where the water heater has it's own second breaker separate from the main box. He refuses to come because he doesn't want to breath in all the gas the electric water furnace is leaking from the pie light.
I flip the breaker, the water heater kicks on. I let them know they are back in business. He flips me off. 5 minutes later his dad calls and I basically have the same convo with his dad about gas leaking into the loft. I explain to the dad the water heater is electric and after a minute of silence, his dad says: My son is a moron. I hope he wasn't too rude. Me: nothing I can't handle. Have a nice day.
This was about 3 months after I started working for this company. I was 90% sure I was getting punked. Turns out this kid really was that dumb. Oh how I fear for our futures.
Bob: My water furnace has stopped working.
Me: Your what?
Bob: My water furnace. You know the thing that heats my water. (said as rudely as possible)
Me: Oh, Your water heater? (said as nicely as I could handle without actually just laughing out loud at him)
Bob: Sure, whatever, my water heater.
Me: I can put in a work order but since it is the weekend I am not sure how long it will take me to get some one there.
Bob: Well I need some one to come right now. I called my brother and he says the pie light is most likely out and I think there is gas leaking into my loft and I'm worried that it is dangerous.
Me: (After putting the phone on mute so I could get a grip from the laughter) Well I think you mean pilot light not pie light. And your water heater is actually electric so there would not be gas leaking out. I am guessing you have just thrown a breaker and if I could walk you through it, you could probably reset it yourself. I will still put in a work order and have it checked out, but I could at least get you some hot water in the mean time.
Bob: Look, I understand how these things work. You will not trick me into thinking there is not gas in my loft. This is dangerous. I am going to call the authorities and tell them you are allowing us to live in a dangerous environment.
Me: I can give you the number for city utilities if you would like to call them and tell them your electric water heater is leaking gas. You can call me back after you call them I can gladly walk you through how to check the breakers.
Bob: I am not touching the electricity box. I am not getting electrocuted.
Me: You will not get electrocuted but checking the breaker box.
Bob: Why can't you just send someone to deal with this?? I pay a lot of money to live here and this is ridiculous. (He was behind on rent and had insane amounts of late fees, and fines from trashing the building during an obnoxious party)
Me: I said I would put in a work order I was just trying to help you get it resolved quicker.
Bob: I really feel like I should just contact my attorney. This is ridiculous that you won't fix it.
Me: Again, I said I could put in a work order, but it is Saturday. And cold water isn't an emergency so I am not sure how long you would have to wait for someone to get there.
Bob: I want it fixed within the hour or I am calling my dad. (again this is a 20 year old male)
Me: Please call him and give him my number. I would love to talk to you dad about the pie light on your water furnace. (by this time I had put on my shoes and left to drive down to the apartment to flip the breaker for him)
Bob: Are you mocking me.
Me: Of course not I am just trying to help you understand that you can fix it yourself very easily without waiting for someone to come.
Bob: F*&k you. (hangs up phone)
2 minutes later as I am driving to the apartment he calls back
Bob: I just wanted you to know I have left a message with the gas department. I think you should be expecting their call (they called, we laughed)
Me: I will gladly speak to them when they call (by this time I am being as overly nice as I can just to irritate him) Also, I am on my way to your apartment to fix the issue myself so that you don't have to wait for hot water.
Bob: I don't want you to come. I want you to do your f*&king job and call a professional.
Me: It is me or it could be until Monday.
Bob: This place is a sham. (hangs up)
I arrive to the apartment. I knock, no one answers so I let myself in. They are just sitting on the couch watching TV.
Me: I am going to fix your water heater.
Bob: If you ruin anything you will f*&king pay for it.
Me: I believe the response you were looking for was 'thank you for getting out on a Saturday to fix something I could have fixed myself'
Bob: You are such a bitch.
Me: I try
I open the closet with the breaker box and none of them have tripped. I open the closet with the water heater in it and try to call him over to show him where the water heater has it's own second breaker separate from the main box. He refuses to come because he doesn't want to breath in all the gas the electric water furnace is leaking from the pie light.
I flip the breaker, the water heater kicks on. I let them know they are back in business. He flips me off. 5 minutes later his dad calls and I basically have the same convo with his dad about gas leaking into the loft. I explain to the dad the water heater is electric and after a minute of silence, his dad says: My son is a moron. I hope he wasn't too rude. Me: nothing I can't handle. Have a nice day.
This was about 3 months after I started working for this company. I was 90% sure I was getting punked. Turns out this kid really was that dumb. Oh how I fear for our futures.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
A suprisingly not terrible day
I actually managed to get quite a bit of work done with very little insanity. I am just not sure what to do with myself. Wait. . . the phone is ringing. Let's see what craziness they have in store . . .
Well that was weird. Someone wanting to know if they can pay their rent early for next month. So rarely hear that kind of responsibility out of my tenants I barely knew what to say. I think I am going to go home, clean my house, then kick up my feet and enjoy a nice glass of wine. Let's hope my children are on board with this day of good behavior. Maybe I should start a different blog about the insane things my kids say. It wouldn't be nearly as funny because they are smarter than most of the college kids. I better just stick to idiots being idiots.
If it stays this quiet for the rest of the week, I will dig up some fun pictures of past idiocy and share them with you. Wait for it.
Well that was weird. Someone wanting to know if they can pay their rent early for next month. So rarely hear that kind of responsibility out of my tenants I barely knew what to say. I think I am going to go home, clean my house, then kick up my feet and enjoy a nice glass of wine. Let's hope my children are on board with this day of good behavior. Maybe I should start a different blog about the insane things my kids say. It wouldn't be nearly as funny because they are smarter than most of the college kids. I better just stick to idiots being idiots.
If it stays this quiet for the rest of the week, I will dig up some fun pictures of past idiocy and share them with you. Wait for it.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Am I asking too much?
Why are people calling me and asking me about their deposit refund when they haven't even moved out yet??? I have people calling to pick fights with me about what we will be holding out of their refund. I haven't even done the walk-throughs yet. Nor will I until their lease is over. It is insane.
I can't even begin to guess what you will be getting back, but based on the fact that you are assuring me that that door was broken when you moved in, the two kitchen tiles were already missing, the blinds never worked, and the bathroom mirror was already cracked. . . hmmmm. . . I am guessing you won't be getting a lot of your deposit back. Just a guess.
And apparently they have all forgotten that I walked through the unit with them when they moved in. Each and every single apartment we have. I walked through and did that check list with them. I am fully aware that they are full of it. I just want one day where everything goes well. No craziness. No insane conversations. No idiots. Please. Just one day. Good things happen everyday. But I want just one day with no bad. Am I asking too much?
I can't even begin to guess what you will be getting back, but based on the fact that you are assuring me that that door was broken when you moved in, the two kitchen tiles were already missing, the blinds never worked, and the bathroom mirror was already cracked. . . hmmmm. . . I am guessing you won't be getting a lot of your deposit back. Just a guess.
And apparently they have all forgotten that I walked through the unit with them when they moved in. Each and every single apartment we have. I walked through and did that check list with them. I am fully aware that they are full of it. I just want one day where everything goes well. No craziness. No insane conversations. No idiots. Please. Just one day. Good things happen everyday. But I want just one day with no bad. Am I asking too much?
Monday, May 19, 2014
I love being right.
I love it when someone does something that just proves I am right. Here is a link to a story about a study done regarding the affluent, over privileged, entitled group of college aged people out there. The story is really about inequality in education standards and expectations in the affluent vs lower income students and how their parents effect their behaviors. It discusses partying, the inability to be responsible and the fact that most of these under achievers can do nothing after they graduate and 'grow-up'.
I promise after this I will only post absurd and funny things that my tenants do.(Lie) And I will make every effort to not be so serious.(Unless they irritate me again, which they will, they let's be honest.)
http://www.nbcnews.com/feature/maria-shriver/how-group-women-revealed-hard-truths-higher-education-n108746
I promise after this I will only post absurd and funny things that my tenants do.(Lie) And I will make every effort to not be so serious.(Unless they irritate me again, which they will, they let's be honest.)
http://www.nbcnews.com/feature/maria-shriver/how-group-women-revealed-hard-truths-higher-education-n108746
GET OFF MY LAWN
This weekend was full of 20 something making grand memories during their graduation weekend. Setting a fine example for the up and coming students who are finally old enough to move out the dorms and venture out on their own. . . All awaiting a swift kick to the rear from the reality Gods.
I realize that some of my tenants are actually good people and probably have jobs awaiting them and didn't blow every penny in their parent funded bank accounts getting wasted this weekend. But they are the minority. The others invited over their younger frat brothers and sorority sisters to celebrate their mediocre accomplishments (C's get degrees people!) with a drunkfest that has now ended with my crew having to spend the day cleaning up their mess and repairing the damages. Most parents, I am sure, participated in the antics. Most likely funded most of it. Because nothing teaches your children about the realities of their future like a good old fashioned keg party, Animal House style. I enjoy a good night of drinking with my parents, but not at the expense of someone else's sanity. (Husband not included in that. The pops and I can make him pretty crazy from time to time.)
Now they will trek out into their adulthood with little to no idea how it is actually supposed to work. They will have no idea how to pay their bills, fix things that break in their homes, have actual conversations with people that don't involve texting, or what is and is not appropriate behavior. Fairly normal for a 20 something. But these kids don't know how to write checks. Most of them don't know their social security numbers. They don't know how to ask for help. They just call their parents and have their parents call the repair man. I hope daily it is not too late for them to learn how to take care of themselves. If so, my generation will not only be caring for our parents someday but we will also be cleaning up after a bunch of 40 year old who just can't figure it out. Their parents have done them such a disservice in life.
I know this is all very 'GET OFF MY LAWN', but it is true. I also realize it is just a repeat of everything I complain about on here. But I am woke up nightly by my phone ringing with 20 something's complaining at 3 in the morning that their toilet is clogged. (ummmm....buy a plunger) Or at midnight because the lights in their living room don't work and they just got home and someone better come fix it right now, damn it, because they (their parents) are paying good money to live here. (did you check your breaker box? Oh you don't even know what that is? Seriously? FML) Or they invite 150 of their closest friends over on a Tuesday night to rage until dawn and then call me at 10 on Saturday because their neighbors have 10 people over watching a movie and they are bothering them. (reality check needed, desperately)
They make my job nearly impossible to do. They drive me insane. They give me gray hair. Their parents baffle me. Their disrespect is shocking. And frankly, I don't understand the clothes they wear and it weirds me out. (Truth. When did high wasted shorts come back. Gross) So Happy Monday. And 'GET OFF MY LAWN, YOUNGSTERS.'
And now to suffer another week. . . Until someone hands me a paycheck and a cocktail and I forget my job life sucks for a few short hours . . . Is it Friday yet????
I realize that some of my tenants are actually good people and probably have jobs awaiting them and didn't blow every penny in their parent funded bank accounts getting wasted this weekend. But they are the minority. The others invited over their younger frat brothers and sorority sisters to celebrate their mediocre accomplishments (C's get degrees people!) with a drunkfest that has now ended with my crew having to spend the day cleaning up their mess and repairing the damages. Most parents, I am sure, participated in the antics. Most likely funded most of it. Because nothing teaches your children about the realities of their future like a good old fashioned keg party, Animal House style. I enjoy a good night of drinking with my parents, but not at the expense of someone else's sanity. (Husband not included in that. The pops and I can make him pretty crazy from time to time.)
Now they will trek out into their adulthood with little to no idea how it is actually supposed to work. They will have no idea how to pay their bills, fix things that break in their homes, have actual conversations with people that don't involve texting, or what is and is not appropriate behavior. Fairly normal for a 20 something. But these kids don't know how to write checks. Most of them don't know their social security numbers. They don't know how to ask for help. They just call their parents and have their parents call the repair man. I hope daily it is not too late for them to learn how to take care of themselves. If so, my generation will not only be caring for our parents someday but we will also be cleaning up after a bunch of 40 year old who just can't figure it out. Their parents have done them such a disservice in life.
I know this is all very 'GET OFF MY LAWN', but it is true. I also realize it is just a repeat of everything I complain about on here. But I am woke up nightly by my phone ringing with 20 something's complaining at 3 in the morning that their toilet is clogged. (ummmm....buy a plunger) Or at midnight because the lights in their living room don't work and they just got home and someone better come fix it right now, damn it, because they (their parents) are paying good money to live here. (did you check your breaker box? Oh you don't even know what that is? Seriously? FML) Or they invite 150 of their closest friends over on a Tuesday night to rage until dawn and then call me at 10 on Saturday because their neighbors have 10 people over watching a movie and they are bothering them. (reality check needed, desperately)
They make my job nearly impossible to do. They drive me insane. They give me gray hair. Their parents baffle me. Their disrespect is shocking. And frankly, I don't understand the clothes they wear and it weirds me out. (Truth. When did high wasted shorts come back. Gross) So Happy Monday. And 'GET OFF MY LAWN, YOUNGSTERS.'
And now to suffer another week. . . Until someone hands me a paycheck and a cocktail and I forget my job life sucks for a few short hours . . . Is it Friday yet????
Thursday, May 15, 2014
A Breath of Fresh Air
I met the most amazing parent today. A true breath of fresh air! He is forcing his daughter to honor her lease even though she is fighting with her friends and doesn't want to. It is sad that this is actually something that needed to be talked about. He basically told her to grow up, and make better choices in her future. I tried not to act gleeful while I stood to the side and listened. The mom stood with me and just chuckled. She and I discussed how it is absurd that these girls think it is ok to ignore a legally binding contract just because their bff is, like, totally ruining their life. We would not have ever thought this was ok when we were their age. And this mom and I easily had a 15 - 20 year age difference. (I am in my mid-thirties.)
Which begs the question: Why is it ok now?
I am 10 years older than my younger sibling. She is just on the cusp of this whiney, lazy, self centered, insane generation. She has her moments, but she is pretty self sufficient. She can solve her own problems, has a good job, and is a productive member of society. (and a kick ass sister if I do say so myself.) (and yes that is because I think she might read this). But the people coming up in the world behind her seem to have grown up in a completely different environment. I am shocked daily by the way they lash out at the people around them with no thought of what the effect might be.
Example: Some of the delightful people that we rent to decided they didn't like the amount of money they got back from their deposit. They didn't feel they should have to pay for the 12 halogen light bulbs they left burned out, the broken cabinet door, the ripped screens, the water damage where they had the let the toilet leak for months without calling maintenance, the holes in the door, the pet fine for the not one but two giant dogs that had lived there with no pet deposit that chewed up the trim at the base of the walls, or any of the numerous other things that they damaged. (I pulled the actual file to write this so I assure that list is accurate and I am actually leaving off multiple items.) They felt all of this should have been covered by the rent they paid and should not have come out of their deposit.
I am guessing they don't understand that their rent goes to cover our mortgage, taxes, employees, standard building repairs. . . Well why would they understand any of this? Their parents pay everything for them.
Well after they decided we were 'stealing' their money they decided to file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. And all three roommates filed separate complaints. By the time we all went back and forth with the letters responding to the BBB letters our rating went from a C (pretty standard for property management since everyone likes to complain) to an F not because the BBB disagreed with us, but because we received so many complaints in such a short amount of time. Another fine example of them not caring what the effect of their actions is. If I were a parent and I was researching the place that my college kids wanted to live I would see that rating and have to think twice. At least I would have before I had this job.
They still had to pay the bill because we took them to court and they lost and ended up owing not just their bill but now they have to cover our court costs. Poor them. It went from them owing us about $800 to them owing us closer to $3000 and getting a hit on their credit for not paying for so long. And as always they blame me for all of this. Because I am big, mean, dragon lady landlord, who thinks they should pay their bills on time and not destroy other property.
Because they couldn't take responsibility and they could not be bothered to deal with things in a timely manner or like civilized adults, they are out far more money than they should have been, they have a bad mark on their credit, and we now have to explain to people that we aren't actually a bunch of thieves and bullies.
The real thieves are the ones who upped my favorite cheap wine from $3.50 to $4.25. Bastards. Rainbow neighbor, you know my pain. That's a secret shout-out. It's ok if you didn't understand.
Which begs the question: Why is it ok now?
I am 10 years older than my younger sibling. She is just on the cusp of this whiney, lazy, self centered, insane generation. She has her moments, but she is pretty self sufficient. She can solve her own problems, has a good job, and is a productive member of society. (and a kick ass sister if I do say so myself.) (and yes that is because I think she might read this). But the people coming up in the world behind her seem to have grown up in a completely different environment. I am shocked daily by the way they lash out at the people around them with no thought of what the effect might be.
Example: Some of the delightful people that we rent to decided they didn't like the amount of money they got back from their deposit. They didn't feel they should have to pay for the 12 halogen light bulbs they left burned out, the broken cabinet door, the ripped screens, the water damage where they had the let the toilet leak for months without calling maintenance, the holes in the door, the pet fine for the not one but two giant dogs that had lived there with no pet deposit that chewed up the trim at the base of the walls, or any of the numerous other things that they damaged. (I pulled the actual file to write this so I assure that list is accurate and I am actually leaving off multiple items.) They felt all of this should have been covered by the rent they paid and should not have come out of their deposit.
I am guessing they don't understand that their rent goes to cover our mortgage, taxes, employees, standard building repairs. . . Well why would they understand any of this? Their parents pay everything for them.
Well after they decided we were 'stealing' their money they decided to file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. And all three roommates filed separate complaints. By the time we all went back and forth with the letters responding to the BBB letters our rating went from a C (pretty standard for property management since everyone likes to complain) to an F not because the BBB disagreed with us, but because we received so many complaints in such a short amount of time. Another fine example of them not caring what the effect of their actions is. If I were a parent and I was researching the place that my college kids wanted to live I would see that rating and have to think twice. At least I would have before I had this job.
They still had to pay the bill because we took them to court and they lost and ended up owing not just their bill but now they have to cover our court costs. Poor them. It went from them owing us about $800 to them owing us closer to $3000 and getting a hit on their credit for not paying for so long. And as always they blame me for all of this. Because I am big, mean, dragon lady landlord, who thinks they should pay their bills on time and not destroy other property.
Because they couldn't take responsibility and they could not be bothered to deal with things in a timely manner or like civilized adults, they are out far more money than they should have been, they have a bad mark on their credit, and we now have to explain to people that we aren't actually a bunch of thieves and bullies.
The real thieves are the ones who upped my favorite cheap wine from $3.50 to $4.25. Bastards. Rainbow neighbor, you know my pain. That's a secret shout-out. It's ok if you didn't understand.
#AT&T Is, like, totally ruining my life.
I just typed about 6 paragraphs about an awesome parent, an annoying tenant, my sister, and city officials in the town where I live. Then my internet glitched out for a moment before I could save it.
Thank you AT&T for the daily failure that is our webbernets. So now you can just make up your own fill in the blank story about what disaster has ruined the life of yet another 19 year old forcing them to behave as if their lives are destroyed causing them to lash out to those around them in the delightful way that only an entitled young adult can. #middleclassproblems #daddypaysmybills #ihatehashtagsbecauseiamagrownup
Thank you AT&T for the daily failure that is our webbernets. So now you can just make up your own fill in the blank story about what disaster has ruined the life of yet another 19 year old forcing them to behave as if their lives are destroyed causing them to lash out to those around them in the delightful way that only an entitled young adult can. #middleclassproblems #daddypaysmybills #ihatehashtagsbecauseiamagrownup
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
I just.... and then you just... and then.... WTF
Holy crap. Is it a full moon?? Are people this crazy because of the weather? What is going on? Today has been the most insane day.
**Captain crazy pants mom who wants me to let her daughter break the lease without telling her room mate called again. She just wanted to let me know I should expect to hear from her lawyer. I am super excited as I hold my breath waiting for that call.
**I got to talk to the fire marshal again today. Yay!! Let's squeeze 100 minors into the smallest place possible, then get them wasted, and then act surprised when we get in trouble for it.
**I have a group of girls that refuses to speak to each other about their up coming lease and want me to be their go between. Ummmmm..... No. I am your land lord. Not your counselor. I seriously just had to set up a time for them to meet for coffee so that they could figure out if they still wanted to live together. The lease starts in June. No rush. Take your time. It's not like it is LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT OR ANYTHING.
**Oh your roof leaked last night during the rain and ruined your text book. (I did actually feel sorry for this guy... until...) But it has been leaking on and off for 3 months and you didn't tell me about it, until it directly effected your property. I guess that water spot on the brand new flooring wasn't a big deal to you. I realize you are upset about the text book that, let's get real, you could have sold back for about $30. But I am upset about the hundreds of $$ it will take to repair the water damage that could have been avoided had you told me about drip in the first place. Sorry.
**But my favorite part of the day goes to the tenant who came in and threw his wadded up check at assured me he will not be paying the late fee so I can just dream on. I am sure wherever you go in life they will just let you pay your bills late with no repercussions what so ever. I wish you the best of luck.
All this while still managing the office, and getting things ready for move in/move out season. Because I am awesome.
Happy Wednesday! Hope yours was as good as mine. Off to search for the nearest booze. . .
**Captain crazy pants mom who wants me to let her daughter break the lease without telling her room mate called again. She just wanted to let me know I should expect to hear from her lawyer. I am super excited as I hold my breath waiting for that call.
**I got to talk to the fire marshal again today. Yay!! Let's squeeze 100 minors into the smallest place possible, then get them wasted, and then act surprised when we get in trouble for it.
**I have a group of girls that refuses to speak to each other about their up coming lease and want me to be their go between. Ummmmm..... No. I am your land lord. Not your counselor. I seriously just had to set up a time for them to meet for coffee so that they could figure out if they still wanted to live together. The lease starts in June. No rush. Take your time. It's not like it is LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT OR ANYTHING.
**Oh your roof leaked last night during the rain and ruined your text book. (I did actually feel sorry for this guy... until...) But it has been leaking on and off for 3 months and you didn't tell me about it, until it directly effected your property. I guess that water spot on the brand new flooring wasn't a big deal to you. I realize you are upset about the text book that, let's get real, you could have sold back for about $30. But I am upset about the hundreds of $$ it will take to repair the water damage that could have been avoided had you told me about drip in the first place. Sorry.
**But my favorite part of the day goes to the tenant who came in and threw his wadded up check at assured me he will not be paying the late fee so I can just dream on. I am sure wherever you go in life they will just let you pay your bills late with no repercussions what so ever. I wish you the best of luck.
All this while still managing the office, and getting things ready for move in/move out season. Because I am awesome.
Happy Wednesday! Hope yours was as good as mine. Off to search for the nearest booze. . .
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