So I started working here in September of 2012. We had two boys living in an apartment that were a total disaster. When I started they were over a month behind on rent and had a damage bill that was growing daily. The first day I was here I was told to call them to collect money and if they didn't answer I would need to go and knock on their door. That was how I was introduced to the wonderful world of property management. The boys did not pay that day. They did try to get caught up over the next couple months but were such a continuous disaster we were finally left with no choice but to evict them. Here are some of the highlights of their very short time on our property.
We will call them Idiot A and Idiot B.
Idiot A was only 18. And barely even. He turned 18 after he moved in. Idiot B was 19. (The property manager before was moron. She should have never let a 17 year move in. Especially not to such a nice place.)
One of the first encounters I had with them was on my first day. I went to their door to collect back rent. Idiot B answers the door in his underwear. The overwhelming smell of beer and cigs hit me in the face like a wall when they opened the door. Once I got past that we began discussing payment. He flat out told me that he would pay when he could and that today was not that day. Proceeded to fart extremely loudly, laugh hysterically, and slam the door in my face. Nice. I felt this was his amazing way of saying 'Welcome To Your New Job!' This was probably a good sign I should find another job, but I am a glutton for punishment, so I stayed.
About a week later, Idiot A calls me around midnight while he is wasted to tell me that all the lights are out in his loft and he demands someone come fix it. I asked him if he had checked his breaker box. He told me that wasn't his fucking job. I asked if he had paid his utility bill. He told me it was not of my business. I hung up and let him sit in the dark for the night. He called me back about 10 times but I didn't answer. Our maintenance man swung by in the morning and they had somehow thrown the main breaker in their apartment. The kid called me later and told me he was pissed we hadn't just done that the night before. Really? Seriously? At this point I asked my boss if it was always like this or these were just really bad tenants. He promised these were just really bad ones. I think he was trying not to scare me off in my first week.
About a week after that I go and knock on their door again to try and collect some rent money. When Idiot A opens the door a dog runs out, poops on the side walk next to me and then runs back into the apartment. The kids yells good boy and the dog. I told him he would need to pick up the poo. He said that he didn't have a dog so it couldn't be his problem. True story. Having only been working here for two weeks I was so flustered but the level of rudeness and lying that I just left. No money in hand, pile of poo on the side walk. I of course begin to get calls in minutes from the neighbors complaining about the poo which my maintenance man also refuses to pick up. FML. Guess who cleaned up the poo?
Later that same week, Idiot B calls to tell me that their toilet is clogged and so is the kitchen sink. It is about 3 in the afternoon and he sounds hammer already. I tell him I will get someone there as soon as I can and I try to talk to him about the back rent owed. He tells me he won't talk about money until the toilet is fixed. Then tells me it has been clogged for days and it is now 'fucking up his game with the ladies'. Yep. I am sure the clogged toilet is your problem buddy.
By this time I have worked here about a month and they have brought in some money but still aren't caught up. I beg my boss to evict them. He wanted to wait. No idea why.
Sometime in early October the boys threw a party. They ended up throwing someone through the front window and an all out brawl broke out in the lot. The police came and broke up the party and found that all of their 16 and 17 year old friends were there. Thankfully this helped with my eviction begging and we began the process. Now this is a process that takes a little time. As soon as the boys found out they were getting evicted they amped up the insanity. They partied every night. I was getting awakened by the police and the neighbors at all hours to here about the insanity.
We finally contact the boys parents to tell them what is going on because we doubt they are aware. Wrong. One of the mothers is semi apologetic but lets me know they are coming down that weekend to move out their son. That would be Idiot B's parents. They however, can't believe we can't just wait until Christmas break when it would be more convenient for them to make the two hour drive to get his things. Sure lady, we will wait three more months for your non rent paying son to destroy an apartment. Ok.
Idiot A's parents said I was lying and they were going to sue us for illegally kicking out their son. Remember A is the young one. They actually used the phrase 'my baby wouldn't do that'. (which is why we love that phrase around here!) Well Idiot A's parents came down to get his things and got here a day early before he could hide the disaster that is his life. They found him wasted and passed out on his couch. Saw the insane amount of dog poo that was outside his front door because the boys were too lazy to walk the dog, and saw the beer bottles, booze bottles, and body sized holes in the walls. She also saw that doors were off the hinges and the front window was broken for the second time in two months. She was kind enough to apologize to me.
The boys moved out, and we got a judgment against them and we are still getting garnishment checks from Idiot B's paychecks because his parents wouldn't pay to clean up his idiocy and he was too dumb to just pay for it on his own.
Why oh why did I not quit then?
I am leaving out so much from this story. Like the Federal Marshal's, the burning car, the peeing on doors . . . This would be the longest post ever if I included it all. But needless to say it was quite the welcome to this place.
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