This is going to shock you. So prepare yourself. My tenants like to lie to me. *GASP* I know, that sounds crazy, but it is true. The check is in the mail . . . A bum must have broken in our apartment and broken that door . . . I don't know who got drunk and peed in the hall . . . You get the idea. But occasionally I get a tenant who just owns their idiocy. Just wears it like a badge. They do dumb stuff. They pay for it. These kids don't bother me. I still have to clean up their messes but they at least pay up.
I had a tenant who lived on our properties for a couple years. I hate to say it but this kid cracked me up. At all times. He was awful. Terrible. Just flat out bad. But he was also sweet and funny and kept me laughing at his idiocy. Here is one of my favorites about a kid we will call Joe Smith.
Joe lived in one of our units two years ago. He and his friend broke pretty much every door in the place. There was no less than 25 holes in the walls when they moved out. There were even holes in the hard wood floor. I mean big holes. As in you could see into the basement. They broke windows, they were filthy, they were a big pain in my ass. They moved out. They paid their damage bill. They knew they did it. 4 boys lived there. 3 of them moved on. No idea where they went.
But not Joe. Joe moved into a different unit with 3 new friends. But he swore these were better behaved frat brothers. Sure. Ok. These are the type of frat boys who stay home and study on a Friday. Nice try Joe.
So Joe and his buddies move into this new place and they actually seem like they are going to behave. (at least better than the 4 boys who lived there before them, but that is a different and shocking story that I shall share with you later). It lasted for a month or so, and then the fire marshal calls. Always the stinking fire marshal. The parties were getting out of hand.
I had a little sit down with Joe and his buddies and they assured me they would tone it down. They would reel it in. Get it under control. They were so sorry. Blah blah blah. They seem to actually do this. Then it happened.
While getting a lease signed by a kid who was pre-leasing for this current lease term I heard the best story. Ever. This kid, who we will call Bob, had a broken hand and a very fresh cast. I politely asked Bob how he broke it. He tells me he broke it during his fraternities annual charity boxing match. They raise money for the charity they support by selling tickets and charging at the door, requiring 'tips' for beer, and I think he said they even sold t-shirts. They raised quite a bit of money! Good for them! As he and I discussed the event more, it actually sounded like a really fun night!
I asked where the event was held. He tells me. Yep. You guessed it. Good old Joe hosted a charity boxing match in his apartment. They had a ring set up and everything. I know what you are thinking. Yes. That apartment is that big. It is a 4 bedroom unit that is the entire top floor of a building.
I call Joe. He doesn't exactly deny it. Just assures me they will fix everything and not to worry about it. His exact words. They will fix everything. Fix. Everything. What the hell needs to be fixed?????? He just chuckled. Joe recently moved out and moved on. Everyone has to grow up and graduate at some point. We went in to get his unit ready for the next tenants. He did not fix everything. Broken doors, railings, counter tops. You name it. They broke it. But they did raise money for charity. So I guess they have that going for them.
Idiots.
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