38 units inspected. May move out inspections completed. Still fairly surprised. Maybe all of my getting on to them finally got through to them. Doubtful. But possible. I did have a super fun parent today who demanded to know how much his son was getting back as I was doing the inspection. After repeatedly trying to explain to him that I won't know until I process everything I just started giving a blank silent stare. He left pretty angry. But the point is he left. :-) I might try the silent thing more often. I can only repeat the same stuff so many times.
Now to prep 38 apartments in 5 days. Should be super fun. Can't wait to see what awesome things we find that were hidden. There is always something. . .
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Spare me. Please.
12 hours and then some. I'm freaking exhausted. But I only was called names once today. Shocking. Still have about 13 more units tomorrow. My feet hurt. I hate everyone. And even without name calling most of them were rude.
Here's the deal children: You do your part and clean up your own mess and don't behave like privileged, entitled, dipshits and things will go much better for you in life. Trust me.
Move out day!
I am heading out of my office to begin the craziness that is move out day. I will walk through and inspect about 40 apartments in the next 2 days. Most of them happening today. Don't get too excited, but I take pictures. I am hoping and praying that nothing too interesting happens, but we shall see. . .
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Thank you notes
Today a thoughtful tenant, who has owed us money for almost a year, kindly included a congratulatory thank you note with his check. The check he only sent because our lawyer contacted him.
I understand all of his anger since we made them pay for the apartment they destroyed. We truly are bastards. And I must have skipped the day in ethics where they taught us the part about how we shouldn't expect payment in a timely manor when it's owed. Damn it. This must be the whole problem.
I also gave he and his room mates a break if they would pay quickly. Unappreciative, entitled little jerks. I like the part we he basically admits his parents pay his bills. You know because we are stealing poor college kids parents money. Not his money. The urge to scream is strong.
I also gave he and his room mates a break if they would pay quickly. Unappreciative, entitled little jerks. I like the part we he basically admits his parents pay his bills. You know because we are stealing poor college kids parents money. Not his money. The urge to scream is strong.Back at work. Yuck.
Well it was a lovely weekend. Almost all of the tenants have either moved out or were of town somewhere getting hammered and destroying someone else's property. So all was quiet here, which allowed for a nice little break. Three days with friends and family is my idea of perfection. But, alas, I had to return to Idiotville today. God for bid I get to enjoy more than two days off in a row.
Two of my favorite calls today in the midst of the insanity that always happens right before move outs start (round one of lease's ending starts tomorrow) were the following.
One is from a dad who we shall call Redneck Pete. Pete is upset that his daughters lease (that she signed last December during pre-leasing) doesn't begin until the 3rd. Apparently he is just now reading the lease that he co-signed and decided to wait until the week before it begins. He says that the 3rd falls on a Tuesday and surely I have lots of upset people since it isn't on a weekend. Why can't it just be the first??
I explained that all our leases begin on the 3rd of a month and end on the 28th of a month. It gives us 5 days or so to flip the units for the next tenants.
He is still upset since I don't seem to understand that the 3rd is on a Tuesday. People have to work. I explain that I can't control what day of the week any particular day falls on. He assures me that if our leases just started on the first then people could move in on the weekends and that would be easier. I am still not sure how to explain to him that the first can and actually has fallen on a week day before and no matter what the date is that a lease starts there is always the potential for it to be on a weekday. He told me I must just be too dumb to understand what he was saying. Sure. That was the problem.
Second favorite call of the day is from a mom who says her son has already moved out and she will be needing his deposit back now. Can she just stop by the office and pick it up? Ummmm..... no. There are still two people living there and his lease isn't even up until tomorrow. I will need to do the inspection on the loft before I can refund anything. And your son and his friends have multiple fines and fees on their account that will have to come out of the deposit before I can refund anything. She assures me she will not be paying for anything that he and his friends did while they were living there. I tell her that is fine, I will take what I can from the deposit, if it is more than that I will send her a bill. She can make her own choices from there, since she is a co-signer and if we had to go to court she would be included in the case. She again assures me that I won't see a dime and she is demanding his deposit back in full. I should just say "ok. Here is all his money. No it is ok that he always paid rent late, and we totally don't mind that he had a dog that he paid no pet deposit on, and we love that we have to replace two doors and all the blinds in the apartment. We would love for that to just be on us. Really. I think that we would really be teaching him a valuable lesson by rewarding his idiocy." Sadly, she would probably agree.
I can't wait for the 80 million phone calls that will come in all summer when people don't like what they get back from their deposit. Even if they get back 80% of it they just aren't happy. They think we should just cover the cost of everything they do. Yet another fine lesson from parents. Who in all reality will probably be the ones calling and complaining. Effing enablers.
Two of my favorite calls today in the midst of the insanity that always happens right before move outs start (round one of lease's ending starts tomorrow) were the following.
One is from a dad who we shall call Redneck Pete. Pete is upset that his daughters lease (that she signed last December during pre-leasing) doesn't begin until the 3rd. Apparently he is just now reading the lease that he co-signed and decided to wait until the week before it begins. He says that the 3rd falls on a Tuesday and surely I have lots of upset people since it isn't on a weekend. Why can't it just be the first??
I explained that all our leases begin on the 3rd of a month and end on the 28th of a month. It gives us 5 days or so to flip the units for the next tenants.
He is still upset since I don't seem to understand that the 3rd is on a Tuesday. People have to work. I explain that I can't control what day of the week any particular day falls on. He assures me that if our leases just started on the first then people could move in on the weekends and that would be easier. I am still not sure how to explain to him that the first can and actually has fallen on a week day before and no matter what the date is that a lease starts there is always the potential for it to be on a weekday. He told me I must just be too dumb to understand what he was saying. Sure. That was the problem.
Second favorite call of the day is from a mom who says her son has already moved out and she will be needing his deposit back now. Can she just stop by the office and pick it up? Ummmm..... no. There are still two people living there and his lease isn't even up until tomorrow. I will need to do the inspection on the loft before I can refund anything. And your son and his friends have multiple fines and fees on their account that will have to come out of the deposit before I can refund anything. She assures me she will not be paying for anything that he and his friends did while they were living there. I tell her that is fine, I will take what I can from the deposit, if it is more than that I will send her a bill. She can make her own choices from there, since she is a co-signer and if we had to go to court she would be included in the case. She again assures me that I won't see a dime and she is demanding his deposit back in full. I should just say "ok. Here is all his money. No it is ok that he always paid rent late, and we totally don't mind that he had a dog that he paid no pet deposit on, and we love that we have to replace two doors and all the blinds in the apartment. We would love for that to just be on us. Really. I think that we would really be teaching him a valuable lesson by rewarding his idiocy." Sadly, she would probably agree.
I can't wait for the 80 million phone calls that will come in all summer when people don't like what they get back from their deposit. Even if they get back 80% of it they just aren't happy. They think we should just cover the cost of everything they do. Yet another fine lesson from parents. Who in all reality will probably be the ones calling and complaining. Effing enablers.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Flashback #2
So last fall I received on of my favorite calls ever. A tenant, male about age 20 who we will call Bob, calls to tell me his hot water heater has stopped working. Perfectly normal call you would think, but as always, my genius tenant kept it interesting. Here is the basic conversation:.
Bob: My water furnace has stopped working.
Me: Your what?
Bob: My water furnace. You know the thing that heats my water. (said as rudely as possible)
Me: Oh, Your water heater? (said as nicely as I could handle without actually just laughing out loud at him)
Bob: Sure, whatever, my water heater.
Me: I can put in a work order but since it is the weekend I am not sure how long it will take me to get some one there.
Bob: Well I need some one to come right now. I called my brother and he says the pie light is most likely out and I think there is gas leaking into my loft and I'm worried that it is dangerous.
Me: (After putting the phone on mute so I could get a grip from the laughter) Well I think you mean pilot light not pie light. And your water heater is actually electric so there would not be gas leaking out. I am guessing you have just thrown a breaker and if I could walk you through it, you could probably reset it yourself. I will still put in a work order and have it checked out, but I could at least get you some hot water in the mean time.
Bob: Look, I understand how these things work. You will not trick me into thinking there is not gas in my loft. This is dangerous. I am going to call the authorities and tell them you are allowing us to live in a dangerous environment.
Me: I can give you the number for city utilities if you would like to call them and tell them your electric water heater is leaking gas. You can call me back after you call them I can gladly walk you through how to check the breakers.
Bob: I am not touching the electricity box. I am not getting electrocuted.
Me: You will not get electrocuted but checking the breaker box.
Bob: Why can't you just send someone to deal with this?? I pay a lot of money to live here and this is ridiculous. (He was behind on rent and had insane amounts of late fees, and fines from trashing the building during an obnoxious party)
Me: I said I would put in a work order I was just trying to help you get it resolved quicker.
Bob: I really feel like I should just contact my attorney. This is ridiculous that you won't fix it.
Me: Again, I said I could put in a work order, but it is Saturday. And cold water isn't an emergency so I am not sure how long you would have to wait for someone to get there.
Bob: I want it fixed within the hour or I am calling my dad. (again this is a 20 year old male)
Me: Please call him and give him my number. I would love to talk to you dad about the pie light on your water furnace. (by this time I had put on my shoes and left to drive down to the apartment to flip the breaker for him)
Bob: Are you mocking me.
Me: Of course not I am just trying to help you understand that you can fix it yourself very easily without waiting for someone to come.
Bob: F*&k you. (hangs up phone)
2 minutes later as I am driving to the apartment he calls back
Bob: I just wanted you to know I have left a message with the gas department. I think you should be expecting their call (they called, we laughed)
Me: I will gladly speak to them when they call (by this time I am being as overly nice as I can just to irritate him) Also, I am on my way to your apartment to fix the issue myself so that you don't have to wait for hot water.
Bob: I don't want you to come. I want you to do your f*&king job and call a professional.
Me: It is me or it could be until Monday.
Bob: This place is a sham. (hangs up)
I arrive to the apartment. I knock, no one answers so I let myself in. They are just sitting on the couch watching TV.
Me: I am going to fix your water heater.
Bob: If you ruin anything you will f*&king pay for it.
Me: I believe the response you were looking for was 'thank you for getting out on a Saturday to fix something I could have fixed myself'
Bob: You are such a bitch.
Me: I try
I open the closet with the breaker box and none of them have tripped. I open the closet with the water heater in it and try to call him over to show him where the water heater has it's own second breaker separate from the main box. He refuses to come because he doesn't want to breath in all the gas the electric water furnace is leaking from the pie light.
I flip the breaker, the water heater kicks on. I let them know they are back in business. He flips me off. 5 minutes later his dad calls and I basically have the same convo with his dad about gas leaking into the loft. I explain to the dad the water heater is electric and after a minute of silence, his dad says: My son is a moron. I hope he wasn't too rude. Me: nothing I can't handle. Have a nice day.
This was about 3 months after I started working for this company. I was 90% sure I was getting punked. Turns out this kid really was that dumb. Oh how I fear for our futures.
Bob: My water furnace has stopped working.
Me: Your what?
Bob: My water furnace. You know the thing that heats my water. (said as rudely as possible)
Me: Oh, Your water heater? (said as nicely as I could handle without actually just laughing out loud at him)
Bob: Sure, whatever, my water heater.
Me: I can put in a work order but since it is the weekend I am not sure how long it will take me to get some one there.
Bob: Well I need some one to come right now. I called my brother and he says the pie light is most likely out and I think there is gas leaking into my loft and I'm worried that it is dangerous.
Me: (After putting the phone on mute so I could get a grip from the laughter) Well I think you mean pilot light not pie light. And your water heater is actually electric so there would not be gas leaking out. I am guessing you have just thrown a breaker and if I could walk you through it, you could probably reset it yourself. I will still put in a work order and have it checked out, but I could at least get you some hot water in the mean time.
Bob: Look, I understand how these things work. You will not trick me into thinking there is not gas in my loft. This is dangerous. I am going to call the authorities and tell them you are allowing us to live in a dangerous environment.
Me: I can give you the number for city utilities if you would like to call them and tell them your electric water heater is leaking gas. You can call me back after you call them I can gladly walk you through how to check the breakers.
Bob: I am not touching the electricity box. I am not getting electrocuted.
Me: You will not get electrocuted but checking the breaker box.
Bob: Why can't you just send someone to deal with this?? I pay a lot of money to live here and this is ridiculous. (He was behind on rent and had insane amounts of late fees, and fines from trashing the building during an obnoxious party)
Me: I said I would put in a work order I was just trying to help you get it resolved quicker.
Bob: I really feel like I should just contact my attorney. This is ridiculous that you won't fix it.
Me: Again, I said I could put in a work order, but it is Saturday. And cold water isn't an emergency so I am not sure how long you would have to wait for someone to get there.
Bob: I want it fixed within the hour or I am calling my dad. (again this is a 20 year old male)
Me: Please call him and give him my number. I would love to talk to you dad about the pie light on your water furnace. (by this time I had put on my shoes and left to drive down to the apartment to flip the breaker for him)
Bob: Are you mocking me.
Me: Of course not I am just trying to help you understand that you can fix it yourself very easily without waiting for someone to come.
Bob: F*&k you. (hangs up phone)
2 minutes later as I am driving to the apartment he calls back
Bob: I just wanted you to know I have left a message with the gas department. I think you should be expecting their call (they called, we laughed)
Me: I will gladly speak to them when they call (by this time I am being as overly nice as I can just to irritate him) Also, I am on my way to your apartment to fix the issue myself so that you don't have to wait for hot water.
Bob: I don't want you to come. I want you to do your f*&king job and call a professional.
Me: It is me or it could be until Monday.
Bob: This place is a sham. (hangs up)
I arrive to the apartment. I knock, no one answers so I let myself in. They are just sitting on the couch watching TV.
Me: I am going to fix your water heater.
Bob: If you ruin anything you will f*&king pay for it.
Me: I believe the response you were looking for was 'thank you for getting out on a Saturday to fix something I could have fixed myself'
Bob: You are such a bitch.
Me: I try
I open the closet with the breaker box and none of them have tripped. I open the closet with the water heater in it and try to call him over to show him where the water heater has it's own second breaker separate from the main box. He refuses to come because he doesn't want to breath in all the gas the electric water furnace is leaking from the pie light.
I flip the breaker, the water heater kicks on. I let them know they are back in business. He flips me off. 5 minutes later his dad calls and I basically have the same convo with his dad about gas leaking into the loft. I explain to the dad the water heater is electric and after a minute of silence, his dad says: My son is a moron. I hope he wasn't too rude. Me: nothing I can't handle. Have a nice day.
This was about 3 months after I started working for this company. I was 90% sure I was getting punked. Turns out this kid really was that dumb. Oh how I fear for our futures.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
A suprisingly not terrible day
I actually managed to get quite a bit of work done with very little insanity. I am just not sure what to do with myself. Wait. . . the phone is ringing. Let's see what craziness they have in store . . .
Well that was weird. Someone wanting to know if they can pay their rent early for next month. So rarely hear that kind of responsibility out of my tenants I barely knew what to say. I think I am going to go home, clean my house, then kick up my feet and enjoy a nice glass of wine. Let's hope my children are on board with this day of good behavior. Maybe I should start a different blog about the insane things my kids say. It wouldn't be nearly as funny because they are smarter than most of the college kids. I better just stick to idiots being idiots.
If it stays this quiet for the rest of the week, I will dig up some fun pictures of past idiocy and share them with you. Wait for it.
Well that was weird. Someone wanting to know if they can pay their rent early for next month. So rarely hear that kind of responsibility out of my tenants I barely knew what to say. I think I am going to go home, clean my house, then kick up my feet and enjoy a nice glass of wine. Let's hope my children are on board with this day of good behavior. Maybe I should start a different blog about the insane things my kids say. It wouldn't be nearly as funny because they are smarter than most of the college kids. I better just stick to idiots being idiots.
If it stays this quiet for the rest of the week, I will dig up some fun pictures of past idiocy and share them with you. Wait for it.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Am I asking too much?
Why are people calling me and asking me about their deposit refund when they haven't even moved out yet??? I have people calling to pick fights with me about what we will be holding out of their refund. I haven't even done the walk-throughs yet. Nor will I until their lease is over. It is insane.
I can't even begin to guess what you will be getting back, but based on the fact that you are assuring me that that door was broken when you moved in, the two kitchen tiles were already missing, the blinds never worked, and the bathroom mirror was already cracked. . . hmmmm. . . I am guessing you won't be getting a lot of your deposit back. Just a guess.
And apparently they have all forgotten that I walked through the unit with them when they moved in. Each and every single apartment we have. I walked through and did that check list with them. I am fully aware that they are full of it. I just want one day where everything goes well. No craziness. No insane conversations. No idiots. Please. Just one day. Good things happen everyday. But I want just one day with no bad. Am I asking too much?
I can't even begin to guess what you will be getting back, but based on the fact that you are assuring me that that door was broken when you moved in, the two kitchen tiles were already missing, the blinds never worked, and the bathroom mirror was already cracked. . . hmmmm. . . I am guessing you won't be getting a lot of your deposit back. Just a guess.
And apparently they have all forgotten that I walked through the unit with them when they moved in. Each and every single apartment we have. I walked through and did that check list with them. I am fully aware that they are full of it. I just want one day where everything goes well. No craziness. No insane conversations. No idiots. Please. Just one day. Good things happen everyday. But I want just one day with no bad. Am I asking too much?
Monday, May 19, 2014
I love being right.
I love it when someone does something that just proves I am right. Here is a link to a story about a study done regarding the affluent, over privileged, entitled group of college aged people out there. The story is really about inequality in education standards and expectations in the affluent vs lower income students and how their parents effect their behaviors. It discusses partying, the inability to be responsible and the fact that most of these under achievers can do nothing after they graduate and 'grow-up'.
I promise after this I will only post absurd and funny things that my tenants do.(Lie) And I will make every effort to not be so serious.(Unless they irritate me again, which they will, they let's be honest.)
http://www.nbcnews.com/feature/maria-shriver/how-group-women-revealed-hard-truths-higher-education-n108746
I promise after this I will only post absurd and funny things that my tenants do.(Lie) And I will make every effort to not be so serious.(Unless they irritate me again, which they will, they let's be honest.)
http://www.nbcnews.com/feature/maria-shriver/how-group-women-revealed-hard-truths-higher-education-n108746
GET OFF MY LAWN
This weekend was full of 20 something making grand memories during their graduation weekend. Setting a fine example for the up and coming students who are finally old enough to move out the dorms and venture out on their own. . . All awaiting a swift kick to the rear from the reality Gods.
I realize that some of my tenants are actually good people and probably have jobs awaiting them and didn't blow every penny in their parent funded bank accounts getting wasted this weekend. But they are the minority. The others invited over their younger frat brothers and sorority sisters to celebrate their mediocre accomplishments (C's get degrees people!) with a drunkfest that has now ended with my crew having to spend the day cleaning up their mess and repairing the damages. Most parents, I am sure, participated in the antics. Most likely funded most of it. Because nothing teaches your children about the realities of their future like a good old fashioned keg party, Animal House style. I enjoy a good night of drinking with my parents, but not at the expense of someone else's sanity. (Husband not included in that. The pops and I can make him pretty crazy from time to time.)
Now they will trek out into their adulthood with little to no idea how it is actually supposed to work. They will have no idea how to pay their bills, fix things that break in their homes, have actual conversations with people that don't involve texting, or what is and is not appropriate behavior. Fairly normal for a 20 something. But these kids don't know how to write checks. Most of them don't know their social security numbers. They don't know how to ask for help. They just call their parents and have their parents call the repair man. I hope daily it is not too late for them to learn how to take care of themselves. If so, my generation will not only be caring for our parents someday but we will also be cleaning up after a bunch of 40 year old who just can't figure it out. Their parents have done them such a disservice in life.
I know this is all very 'GET OFF MY LAWN', but it is true. I also realize it is just a repeat of everything I complain about on here. But I am woke up nightly by my phone ringing with 20 something's complaining at 3 in the morning that their toilet is clogged. (ummmm....buy a plunger) Or at midnight because the lights in their living room don't work and they just got home and someone better come fix it right now, damn it, because they (their parents) are paying good money to live here. (did you check your breaker box? Oh you don't even know what that is? Seriously? FML) Or they invite 150 of their closest friends over on a Tuesday night to rage until dawn and then call me at 10 on Saturday because their neighbors have 10 people over watching a movie and they are bothering them. (reality check needed, desperately)
They make my job nearly impossible to do. They drive me insane. They give me gray hair. Their parents baffle me. Their disrespect is shocking. And frankly, I don't understand the clothes they wear and it weirds me out. (Truth. When did high wasted shorts come back. Gross) So Happy Monday. And 'GET OFF MY LAWN, YOUNGSTERS.'
And now to suffer another week. . . Until someone hands me a paycheck and a cocktail and I forget my job life sucks for a few short hours . . . Is it Friday yet????
I realize that some of my tenants are actually good people and probably have jobs awaiting them and didn't blow every penny in their parent funded bank accounts getting wasted this weekend. But they are the minority. The others invited over their younger frat brothers and sorority sisters to celebrate their mediocre accomplishments (C's get degrees people!) with a drunkfest that has now ended with my crew having to spend the day cleaning up their mess and repairing the damages. Most parents, I am sure, participated in the antics. Most likely funded most of it. Because nothing teaches your children about the realities of their future like a good old fashioned keg party, Animal House style. I enjoy a good night of drinking with my parents, but not at the expense of someone else's sanity. (Husband not included in that. The pops and I can make him pretty crazy from time to time.)
Now they will trek out into their adulthood with little to no idea how it is actually supposed to work. They will have no idea how to pay their bills, fix things that break in their homes, have actual conversations with people that don't involve texting, or what is and is not appropriate behavior. Fairly normal for a 20 something. But these kids don't know how to write checks. Most of them don't know their social security numbers. They don't know how to ask for help. They just call their parents and have their parents call the repair man. I hope daily it is not too late for them to learn how to take care of themselves. If so, my generation will not only be caring for our parents someday but we will also be cleaning up after a bunch of 40 year old who just can't figure it out. Their parents have done them such a disservice in life.
I know this is all very 'GET OFF MY LAWN', but it is true. I also realize it is just a repeat of everything I complain about on here. But I am woke up nightly by my phone ringing with 20 something's complaining at 3 in the morning that their toilet is clogged. (ummmm....buy a plunger) Or at midnight because the lights in their living room don't work and they just got home and someone better come fix it right now, damn it, because they (their parents) are paying good money to live here. (did you check your breaker box? Oh you don't even know what that is? Seriously? FML) Or they invite 150 of their closest friends over on a Tuesday night to rage until dawn and then call me at 10 on Saturday because their neighbors have 10 people over watching a movie and they are bothering them. (reality check needed, desperately)
They make my job nearly impossible to do. They drive me insane. They give me gray hair. Their parents baffle me. Their disrespect is shocking. And frankly, I don't understand the clothes they wear and it weirds me out. (Truth. When did high wasted shorts come back. Gross) So Happy Monday. And 'GET OFF MY LAWN, YOUNGSTERS.'
And now to suffer another week. . . Until someone hands me a paycheck and a cocktail and I forget my job life sucks for a few short hours . . . Is it Friday yet????
Thursday, May 15, 2014
A Breath of Fresh Air
I met the most amazing parent today. A true breath of fresh air! He is forcing his daughter to honor her lease even though she is fighting with her friends and doesn't want to. It is sad that this is actually something that needed to be talked about. He basically told her to grow up, and make better choices in her future. I tried not to act gleeful while I stood to the side and listened. The mom stood with me and just chuckled. She and I discussed how it is absurd that these girls think it is ok to ignore a legally binding contract just because their bff is, like, totally ruining their life. We would not have ever thought this was ok when we were their age. And this mom and I easily had a 15 - 20 year age difference. (I am in my mid-thirties.)
Which begs the question: Why is it ok now?
I am 10 years older than my younger sibling. She is just on the cusp of this whiney, lazy, self centered, insane generation. She has her moments, but she is pretty self sufficient. She can solve her own problems, has a good job, and is a productive member of society. (and a kick ass sister if I do say so myself.) (and yes that is because I think she might read this). But the people coming up in the world behind her seem to have grown up in a completely different environment. I am shocked daily by the way they lash out at the people around them with no thought of what the effect might be.
Example: Some of the delightful people that we rent to decided they didn't like the amount of money they got back from their deposit. They didn't feel they should have to pay for the 12 halogen light bulbs they left burned out, the broken cabinet door, the ripped screens, the water damage where they had the let the toilet leak for months without calling maintenance, the holes in the door, the pet fine for the not one but two giant dogs that had lived there with no pet deposit that chewed up the trim at the base of the walls, or any of the numerous other things that they damaged. (I pulled the actual file to write this so I assure that list is accurate and I am actually leaving off multiple items.) They felt all of this should have been covered by the rent they paid and should not have come out of their deposit.
I am guessing they don't understand that their rent goes to cover our mortgage, taxes, employees, standard building repairs. . . Well why would they understand any of this? Their parents pay everything for them.
Well after they decided we were 'stealing' their money they decided to file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. And all three roommates filed separate complaints. By the time we all went back and forth with the letters responding to the BBB letters our rating went from a C (pretty standard for property management since everyone likes to complain) to an F not because the BBB disagreed with us, but because we received so many complaints in such a short amount of time. Another fine example of them not caring what the effect of their actions is. If I were a parent and I was researching the place that my college kids wanted to live I would see that rating and have to think twice. At least I would have before I had this job.
They still had to pay the bill because we took them to court and they lost and ended up owing not just their bill but now they have to cover our court costs. Poor them. It went from them owing us about $800 to them owing us closer to $3000 and getting a hit on their credit for not paying for so long. And as always they blame me for all of this. Because I am big, mean, dragon lady landlord, who thinks they should pay their bills on time and not destroy other property.
Because they couldn't take responsibility and they could not be bothered to deal with things in a timely manner or like civilized adults, they are out far more money than they should have been, they have a bad mark on their credit, and we now have to explain to people that we aren't actually a bunch of thieves and bullies.
The real thieves are the ones who upped my favorite cheap wine from $3.50 to $4.25. Bastards. Rainbow neighbor, you know my pain. That's a secret shout-out. It's ok if you didn't understand.
Which begs the question: Why is it ok now?
I am 10 years older than my younger sibling. She is just on the cusp of this whiney, lazy, self centered, insane generation. She has her moments, but she is pretty self sufficient. She can solve her own problems, has a good job, and is a productive member of society. (and a kick ass sister if I do say so myself.) (and yes that is because I think she might read this). But the people coming up in the world behind her seem to have grown up in a completely different environment. I am shocked daily by the way they lash out at the people around them with no thought of what the effect might be.
Example: Some of the delightful people that we rent to decided they didn't like the amount of money they got back from their deposit. They didn't feel they should have to pay for the 12 halogen light bulbs they left burned out, the broken cabinet door, the ripped screens, the water damage where they had the let the toilet leak for months without calling maintenance, the holes in the door, the pet fine for the not one but two giant dogs that had lived there with no pet deposit that chewed up the trim at the base of the walls, or any of the numerous other things that they damaged. (I pulled the actual file to write this so I assure that list is accurate and I am actually leaving off multiple items.) They felt all of this should have been covered by the rent they paid and should not have come out of their deposit.
I am guessing they don't understand that their rent goes to cover our mortgage, taxes, employees, standard building repairs. . . Well why would they understand any of this? Their parents pay everything for them.
Well after they decided we were 'stealing' their money they decided to file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. And all three roommates filed separate complaints. By the time we all went back and forth with the letters responding to the BBB letters our rating went from a C (pretty standard for property management since everyone likes to complain) to an F not because the BBB disagreed with us, but because we received so many complaints in such a short amount of time. Another fine example of them not caring what the effect of their actions is. If I were a parent and I was researching the place that my college kids wanted to live I would see that rating and have to think twice. At least I would have before I had this job.
They still had to pay the bill because we took them to court and they lost and ended up owing not just their bill but now they have to cover our court costs. Poor them. It went from them owing us about $800 to them owing us closer to $3000 and getting a hit on their credit for not paying for so long. And as always they blame me for all of this. Because I am big, mean, dragon lady landlord, who thinks they should pay their bills on time and not destroy other property.
Because they couldn't take responsibility and they could not be bothered to deal with things in a timely manner or like civilized adults, they are out far more money than they should have been, they have a bad mark on their credit, and we now have to explain to people that we aren't actually a bunch of thieves and bullies.
The real thieves are the ones who upped my favorite cheap wine from $3.50 to $4.25. Bastards. Rainbow neighbor, you know my pain. That's a secret shout-out. It's ok if you didn't understand.
#AT&T Is, like, totally ruining my life.
I just typed about 6 paragraphs about an awesome parent, an annoying tenant, my sister, and city officials in the town where I live. Then my internet glitched out for a moment before I could save it.
Thank you AT&T for the daily failure that is our webbernets. So now you can just make up your own fill in the blank story about what disaster has ruined the life of yet another 19 year old forcing them to behave as if their lives are destroyed causing them to lash out to those around them in the delightful way that only an entitled young adult can. #middleclassproblems #daddypaysmybills #ihatehashtagsbecauseiamagrownup
Thank you AT&T for the daily failure that is our webbernets. So now you can just make up your own fill in the blank story about what disaster has ruined the life of yet another 19 year old forcing them to behave as if their lives are destroyed causing them to lash out to those around them in the delightful way that only an entitled young adult can. #middleclassproblems #daddypaysmybills #ihatehashtagsbecauseiamagrownup
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
I just.... and then you just... and then.... WTF
Holy crap. Is it a full moon?? Are people this crazy because of the weather? What is going on? Today has been the most insane day.
**Captain crazy pants mom who wants me to let her daughter break the lease without telling her room mate called again. She just wanted to let me know I should expect to hear from her lawyer. I am super excited as I hold my breath waiting for that call.
**I got to talk to the fire marshal again today. Yay!! Let's squeeze 100 minors into the smallest place possible, then get them wasted, and then act surprised when we get in trouble for it.
**I have a group of girls that refuses to speak to each other about their up coming lease and want me to be their go between. Ummmmm..... No. I am your land lord. Not your counselor. I seriously just had to set up a time for them to meet for coffee so that they could figure out if they still wanted to live together. The lease starts in June. No rush. Take your time. It's not like it is LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT OR ANYTHING.
**Oh your roof leaked last night during the rain and ruined your text book. (I did actually feel sorry for this guy... until...) But it has been leaking on and off for 3 months and you didn't tell me about it, until it directly effected your property. I guess that water spot on the brand new flooring wasn't a big deal to you. I realize you are upset about the text book that, let's get real, you could have sold back for about $30. But I am upset about the hundreds of $$ it will take to repair the water damage that could have been avoided had you told me about drip in the first place. Sorry.
**But my favorite part of the day goes to the tenant who came in and threw his wadded up check at assured me he will not be paying the late fee so I can just dream on. I am sure wherever you go in life they will just let you pay your bills late with no repercussions what so ever. I wish you the best of luck.
All this while still managing the office, and getting things ready for move in/move out season. Because I am awesome.
Happy Wednesday! Hope yours was as good as mine. Off to search for the nearest booze. . .
**Captain crazy pants mom who wants me to let her daughter break the lease without telling her room mate called again. She just wanted to let me know I should expect to hear from her lawyer. I am super excited as I hold my breath waiting for that call.
**I got to talk to the fire marshal again today. Yay!! Let's squeeze 100 minors into the smallest place possible, then get them wasted, and then act surprised when we get in trouble for it.
**I have a group of girls that refuses to speak to each other about their up coming lease and want me to be their go between. Ummmmm..... No. I am your land lord. Not your counselor. I seriously just had to set up a time for them to meet for coffee so that they could figure out if they still wanted to live together. The lease starts in June. No rush. Take your time. It's not like it is LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT OR ANYTHING.
**Oh your roof leaked last night during the rain and ruined your text book. (I did actually feel sorry for this guy... until...) But it has been leaking on and off for 3 months and you didn't tell me about it, until it directly effected your property. I guess that water spot on the brand new flooring wasn't a big deal to you. I realize you are upset about the text book that, let's get real, you could have sold back for about $30. But I am upset about the hundreds of $$ it will take to repair the water damage that could have been avoided had you told me about drip in the first place. Sorry.
**But my favorite part of the day goes to the tenant who came in and threw his wadded up check at assured me he will not be paying the late fee so I can just dream on. I am sure wherever you go in life they will just let you pay your bills late with no repercussions what so ever. I wish you the best of luck.
All this while still managing the office, and getting things ready for move in/move out season. Because I am awesome.
Happy Wednesday! Hope yours was as good as mine. Off to search for the nearest booze. . .
YOU DON'T EVEN LIVE HERE YET!!!
Dear Future Tenant That Hasn't Even Moved In Yet:
Your first months rent isn't even due for three more weeks. How is it possible that you are already calling me and telling about how you aren't sure how you can pay not only your June rent, but also your July rent. Oh, you didn't think your lease started until August? Could it be possible that when you signed this lease back in November during the very beginning of pre-leasing and I read this lease to you almost word for word including when your lease started and ended you some how confused the word June for August? They do sound quite a bit alike. They also look a lot alike on paper, I know. Maybe it was because almost the entire time I went over this legally binding contract with you, you just sat and texted or played on twitter or what ever it is you do when you are staring at your phone ignoring everyone around you. I can't make you listen. I can't make you pay attention. You probably don't remember the part where we discussed that by signing this contract you were actually agreeing to the entire thing. That must have looked like it was optional. No you can not pay your first months rent late. No I will not be understanding since you are only 19. Now would be a good time for you to learn how to correct your own mistakes, learn not to be a moron, and how to learn from your own idiocy. Seems like it might end up being an expensive lesson.
It is only 10:30 in the morning. How can this day already be this annoying??
Your first months rent isn't even due for three more weeks. How is it possible that you are already calling me and telling about how you aren't sure how you can pay not only your June rent, but also your July rent. Oh, you didn't think your lease started until August? Could it be possible that when you signed this lease back in November during the very beginning of pre-leasing and I read this lease to you almost word for word including when your lease started and ended you some how confused the word June for August? They do sound quite a bit alike. They also look a lot alike on paper, I know. Maybe it was because almost the entire time I went over this legally binding contract with you, you just sat and texted or played on twitter or what ever it is you do when you are staring at your phone ignoring everyone around you. I can't make you listen. I can't make you pay attention. You probably don't remember the part where we discussed that by signing this contract you were actually agreeing to the entire thing. That must have looked like it was optional. No you can not pay your first months rent late. No I will not be understanding since you are only 19. Now would be a good time for you to learn how to correct your own mistakes, learn not to be a moron, and how to learn from your own idiocy. Seems like it might end up being an expensive lesson.
It is only 10:30 in the morning. How can this day already be this annoying??
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Parenting Fail!!!
Needing to vent it out twice in one day is never a good sign. But oh the conversations I have with people. Especially parents. I have a parent who would like for me to help her daughter break the lease, without telling her room mate. She says the room mate is being mean. Seriously. She wants to leave a 20 year old girl responsible for $850 in rent by herself because her daughter says she is mean. .
Are you effing kidding me right now?? What lesson is this teaching this girl? "Someone makes you mad?? Better screw them over." "You're friend was mean to you? You should probably make their life hell." This lady is the mother of the year.
She informs me she will be calling her attorney. (Since I won't let her daughter just take her name off the lease without telling the other room mate) And that her daughters life is in danger living there. For starters, your daughter signed a lease, not a friendship pact. And if you really think her life is in danger why are you still letting her live there and why have you not involved the authorities?? Is her 100lb room mate/sorority sister really that dangerous? Or is being called a name going to ruin your daughters life. Maybe I should call my mom and tell her how mean all the tenants are to me. Maybe she will hire an attorney to sue them all for being big fat meany pants and for making me cry. I will let you know how that call goes.
Are you effing kidding me right now?? What lesson is this teaching this girl? "Someone makes you mad?? Better screw them over." "You're friend was mean to you? You should probably make their life hell." This lady is the mother of the year.
She informs me she will be calling her attorney. (Since I won't let her daughter just take her name off the lease without telling the other room mate) And that her daughters life is in danger living there. For starters, your daughter signed a lease, not a friendship pact. And if you really think her life is in danger why are you still letting her live there and why have you not involved the authorities?? Is her 100lb room mate/sorority sister really that dangerous? Or is being called a name going to ruin your daughters life. Maybe I should call my mom and tell her how mean all the tenants are to me. Maybe she will hire an attorney to sue them all for being big fat meany pants and for making me cry. I will let you know how that call goes.
My precious would never do that!
I love this time of year. All the parents are in town for graduation. They are finally seeing all the damage their children have done and they are understanding that I am not the big mean landlord they think I am. . . I wish!!!! If one more parent assures me that their kid did not break that and it was like that when they moved in I am going to punch someone. Truly.
These kids whine about everything. If their door was broken the whole time they lived there I would know. Trust me. If the 16 holes in the wall where there when they moved in they would have said so. I promise. They called me every time a light burned out because changing a bulb is a confusing stressful thing for these 20 year old children. They called to scream at me when their power went out when a transformer blew and the city had to come down and replace it. Because that was my fault. I assure you they would have let me know if there was mold growing in their bathroom (which FYI is mildew since they have never cleaned that bath once in the 12 months they lived here) because they called me when their windows looked dirty, instead of just cleaning them like a normal person.
STOP. BABYING. YOUR. CHILDREN. NOW.
As we head into our big summer moving season, I am bracing myself for all of the 'my baby would never do that' and 'I am not paying for that broken window, it was like that the whole time' comments from parents. Even though it shocks me ever time I hear it.
Had I behaved this way my parents would have cut me off completely and made me clean up my own mess. Not because they are mean, but because they loved me. I thankfully wasn't a destructive, slutty, raging alcoholic with no manners and a complete lack of respect for the law or those around me. I was just your average 19 year old idiot, with a beer in my hand, trying to figure things out and cleaning up my own disasters as I went along.
I am saddened everyday to know that these people are our future. Maybe I will move to Canada. . .
These kids whine about everything. If their door was broken the whole time they lived there I would know. Trust me. If the 16 holes in the wall where there when they moved in they would have said so. I promise. They called me every time a light burned out because changing a bulb is a confusing stressful thing for these 20 year old children. They called to scream at me when their power went out when a transformer blew and the city had to come down and replace it. Because that was my fault. I assure you they would have let me know if there was mold growing in their bathroom (which FYI is mildew since they have never cleaned that bath once in the 12 months they lived here) because they called me when their windows looked dirty, instead of just cleaning them like a normal person.
STOP. BABYING. YOUR. CHILDREN. NOW.
As we head into our big summer moving season, I am bracing myself for all of the 'my baby would never do that' and 'I am not paying for that broken window, it was like that the whole time' comments from parents. Even though it shocks me ever time I hear it.
Had I behaved this way my parents would have cut me off completely and made me clean up my own mess. Not because they are mean, but because they loved me. I thankfully wasn't a destructive, slutty, raging alcoholic with no manners and a complete lack of respect for the law or those around me. I was just your average 19 year old idiot, with a beer in my hand, trying to figure things out and cleaning up my own disasters as I went along.
I am saddened everyday to know that these people are our future. Maybe I will move to Canada. . .
Monday, May 12, 2014
Dead Day
So last Thursday was Dead Day Eve. I get to work and every single one of our buildings looks like a bomb went off. Beer cans, broken glass and trash everywhere. My maintenance man spends hours of his day cleaning (and people wonder why we never have time to fix anything) and finally gets all the properties back in order. Friday night I fully expect more calls. The phone is silent. Saturday the same. By mid day Sunday I was actually starting to believe they were somewhat under control this weekend. Ha! I must stop lying to myself.
This morning we get to work and the place is insane. Cans, glass, vomit, and trash just everywhere. there is a hole in the wall in the hallway of one of our nicer buildings. I can't wait to look at the camera footage and figure out who it was. I spent about 20 minutes on the phone with the fire marshal this morning discussing the 150 people that were in a two bedroom apartment on Saturday. Now I have been to some pretty fun parties in my day, but that is a lot of people in a very small space, and just an insane amount of damage.
As I was typing this I just got a text from a tenant wanting to know how much it would cost to replace a door and a door frame. He was just curious. No biggie. I need a new job. Stat.
This morning we get to work and the place is insane. Cans, glass, vomit, and trash just everywhere. there is a hole in the wall in the hallway of one of our nicer buildings. I can't wait to look at the camera footage and figure out who it was. I spent about 20 minutes on the phone with the fire marshal this morning discussing the 150 people that were in a two bedroom apartment on Saturday. Now I have been to some pretty fun parties in my day, but that is a lot of people in a very small space, and just an insane amount of damage.
As I was typing this I just got a text from a tenant wanting to know how much it would cost to replace a door and a door frame. He was just curious. No biggie. I need a new job. Stat.
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Flashback #1: They do keep it interesting
I was thinking I might just share a few older stories as I have time. This is one of my favorites. Not a whole lot of story needed. Just a little Fourth of July fun. 'Let's throw a party! Let's get drunk! Let's drive through our neighbors wall!' I am still completely unclear how this even happened. Thankfully everyone was ok and we were able to repair the wall fairly quickly. But so much for having a day off with my family!
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
And so it begins. . .
After numerous requests to begin blogging about the insane idiocy that surrounds my job as a property manager, I have caved. I promise to share any and all ridiculous things that my tenants do. When I can provide a picture that doesn't give away who did the damage, I will!
We lease to primarily college aged tenants. And I am pretty sure that the college is not for smart people anymore. And the parents of college children are high level enablers, bank rolling their idiocy. Wait for it....
We lease to primarily college aged tenants. And I am pretty sure that the college is not for smart people anymore. And the parents of college children are high level enablers, bank rolling their idiocy. Wait for it....
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