Just 2 days. Only 2 days before I get to escape. Once I am comfy in a lawn chair near the beach I will share some of the craziness. So much craziness.
2 days.
Monday, June 30, 2014
2 days
Completed all of the move out inspections on Saturday the 3rd. Only a couple really bad ones. Nothing too terrible to report. Finished most if the move ins last Thursday. Been dealing with non stop insanity since.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Round 2
Heading out to begin round 2 of summer mover outs. Thankfully I only have about 20 on this round. Should only take about 8 hours to get through them all instead of two days like round 1. But this round has some super fun stuff on it. some really delightful tenants. Can't wait. If things go really right I might even get to fight with a parent today about all the delightful things their precious did while they lived on our property. I can't wait to see what amazing things I get called today. I would love to hear some new ones. Feel free to shoot me a message if you have any good name ideas. I will be sure to pass them on as suggestions for my future tenants. I am hoping they get more creative than their usual. I am getting bored with the standard name calling.
12 more days to vacation if I don't count today. But who is counting?
12 more days to vacation if I don't count today. But who is counting?
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Flashback #4
So late one night back in February of 2013 I was awakened by the horrible sound that is my work ring tone. (It is the background noise for every bad dream I have. No joke.) It is the fire marshal.
Now it had been a long delightful little stretch of hardly any idiocy. We are talking maybe a whole month. I let down my guard. The hubs and I got a sitter and cab and went out for a little fun with friends. I had a few drinks. Got home about midnight, crawled in bed and drifted off into what I was hoping would be amazing sleep. I was supposed to get my hair done the next day at 9. What a great weekend. Date night with my man, a few drinks, getting my hair re fancified. Can't really hope for more. As always, hopes were shattered but the shrill bitch that is my phone.
I had been asleep for about and hour and half at this point so I was in pretty deep sleep. Top that with a couple cocktails and I was down right groggy. It was one of my tenants. We shall just call him tenant A. I actually liked this tenant so I can't bring myself to call him a name. He kept things kind of fun when he lived here. This is how the conversation went:
2:00 a.m.
Me: (in the most mumbled half asleep, tipsy tone ever) Hello
Tenant A: Don't freak out. (ok this is the worst possible thing to say to someone at 2 in the morning and I woke up pretty quickly)
Me: What now??????
Tenant A: (chuckles) Well we have a couple friends over and we think we might have broken something.
Me: Is it not something that can wait until morning? What did you do?!?!?!
Tenant A: Well a friend tried to swing from something and it broke. There was a little water but we cleaned it up. But they said we had to call and tell you about it. But, again, we cleaned it all up.
Me: Who is 'they' and what broke??
Tenant A: It is a fireman. But we cleaned it up.
Me: Why are there fireman there if you just broke something and what did you break that there is water everywhere?
Tenant A: We are in the garage so it isn't even inside the loft, so don't worry.
Me: Tell me what is happening right now.
Tenant A: It was just a small pipe, the firemen are still here, they say it is fine.
Me: Hand the phone to the nearest fireman. Now.
Tenant A: But . .
Me: NOW
Fireman: This is Fire Marshal Bill (hopefully some of you are old enough to understand why I laughed so hard I had to mute the phone)
Me: (struggling not to laugh) Can you please tell me what in the world is going on?
Fire Marshal Bill: It would appear the tenants were hosting a get together and one of them tried to stand on top of a large tv stand (would turn out later he actually stood on top of just the TV), and then jump off so that he could swing from a pipe in the rafter. The pipe was connected to a pressurized antifreeze fire sprinkler system and broke rather quickly flooding the garage. We got the call as soon as the pressure dropped and thought there was a fire. We responded with two trucks and an ambulance to find them frantically cleaning. (Later he told me that one of the was actually begging them not to call me.) I think you need to come down here and look at the damage now.
Me: Right now?
Fire Marshal Bill (literally can not type that with out laughing): Yes Mam. Now.
Me: Ok, I will down shortly.
I get up and get dressed. Sort of. I am still pretty out of it from being woken up so abruptly. I throw on the hubs sweats and his favorite old college sweatshirt and some warm shoes. It was about 40 degrees and raining out so it was a super lovely night to have head out sleepy at by now almost 2:30 in the morning. I drive down to their apartment. Thankfully they only lived about 10 minutes away.
I arrive and the official still there is Fire Marshal Bill. (hahaha) I realize, now that I am more awake after driving down there, that I look like a drunk sorority girl. Husbands sweats. Messy bed head. Faint smell of booze coming off me. Great. This is the first time I ever had to deal with the fire marshal and I look so unprofessional I could just shoot myself.
I have a very nice and polite chat with him and tells me everything he saw when he got there. The boys start to come over to talk with us and in my meanest mom voice I said no and put my hand up to stop them.
Me: No! You guys can just stand there and wait for me. No talking. No moving. Just wait. (shockingly they did it)
I finish up with the fire marshal and by the time I get over to the boys it is a little after 3:00 a.m. I had them lined up and literally just stood there and stared at them. Any time they tried to talk to me I just said no. Not yet. I made them stand there for about 5 minutes while I went from looking around the garage back to giving them my mom face back to looking at the damage then back to glaring and shaking my head, and so on and so forth. I was really doing them a favor because I could hear the people moving from their apartment to the one upstairs. I was trying to give them a little time to at lease hide the party. I am not all mean you know!
Finally. I decided to let them tell me their version. It was pretty honest and pretty funny. A drunk friend tried to climb on top of a rear projection TV and was acting like a monkey. He then jumped off the TV to try to reach the very high ceilings in the garage. Caught the pipe. It immediately broke and the kid fell down. I admit I laughed a little while they were telling me the story. These were not bad guys. Just 20 year old idiots being idiots. I checked out their whole apartment. No damage inside. It was all contained in the garage and they had cleaned up very quickly when it flooded. They ended up with a $1500 repair bill which they paid with no arguments.
Two of them later admitted that I scare the shit out of them so apparently the mom face works. Good to know.
I was pissed that I had to get up and lose sleep. I ended up canceling my hair appointment so that I could get some sleep since by the time I crawled back in bed it was nearly 4:00 a.m. Had to reschedule for later that month. That was a bummer. But these boys cleaned up their mess, paid their bill, and to be honest they kept me laughing the entire time they lived there. They did a lot of dumb stuff. But never anything worse than this. And this is the difference between good kids making a couple mistakes, and entitled assholes being destructive. It was all like this it might not be so bad.
Now it had been a long delightful little stretch of hardly any idiocy. We are talking maybe a whole month. I let down my guard. The hubs and I got a sitter and cab and went out for a little fun with friends. I had a few drinks. Got home about midnight, crawled in bed and drifted off into what I was hoping would be amazing sleep. I was supposed to get my hair done the next day at 9. What a great weekend. Date night with my man, a few drinks, getting my hair re fancified. Can't really hope for more. As always, hopes were shattered but the shrill bitch that is my phone.
I had been asleep for about and hour and half at this point so I was in pretty deep sleep. Top that with a couple cocktails and I was down right groggy. It was one of my tenants. We shall just call him tenant A. I actually liked this tenant so I can't bring myself to call him a name. He kept things kind of fun when he lived here. This is how the conversation went:
2:00 a.m.
Me: (in the most mumbled half asleep, tipsy tone ever) Hello
Tenant A: Don't freak out. (ok this is the worst possible thing to say to someone at 2 in the morning and I woke up pretty quickly)
Me: What now??????
Tenant A: (chuckles) Well we have a couple friends over and we think we might have broken something.
Me: Is it not something that can wait until morning? What did you do?!?!?!
Tenant A: Well a friend tried to swing from something and it broke. There was a little water but we cleaned it up. But they said we had to call and tell you about it. But, again, we cleaned it all up.
Me: Who is 'they' and what broke??
Tenant A: It is a fireman. But we cleaned it up.
Me: Why are there fireman there if you just broke something and what did you break that there is water everywhere?
Tenant A: We are in the garage so it isn't even inside the loft, so don't worry.
Me: Tell me what is happening right now.
Tenant A: It was just a small pipe, the firemen are still here, they say it is fine.
Me: Hand the phone to the nearest fireman. Now.
Tenant A: But . .
Me: NOW
Fireman: This is Fire Marshal Bill (hopefully some of you are old enough to understand why I laughed so hard I had to mute the phone)
Me: (struggling not to laugh) Can you please tell me what in the world is going on?
Fire Marshal Bill: It would appear the tenants were hosting a get together and one of them tried to stand on top of a large tv stand (would turn out later he actually stood on top of just the TV), and then jump off so that he could swing from a pipe in the rafter. The pipe was connected to a pressurized antifreeze fire sprinkler system and broke rather quickly flooding the garage. We got the call as soon as the pressure dropped and thought there was a fire. We responded with two trucks and an ambulance to find them frantically cleaning. (Later he told me that one of the was actually begging them not to call me.) I think you need to come down here and look at the damage now.
Me: Right now?
Fire Marshal Bill (literally can not type that with out laughing): Yes Mam. Now.
Me: Ok, I will down shortly.
I get up and get dressed. Sort of. I am still pretty out of it from being woken up so abruptly. I throw on the hubs sweats and his favorite old college sweatshirt and some warm shoes. It was about 40 degrees and raining out so it was a super lovely night to have head out sleepy at by now almost 2:30 in the morning. I drive down to their apartment. Thankfully they only lived about 10 minutes away.
I arrive and the official still there is Fire Marshal Bill. (hahaha) I realize, now that I am more awake after driving down there, that I look like a drunk sorority girl. Husbands sweats. Messy bed head. Faint smell of booze coming off me. Great. This is the first time I ever had to deal with the fire marshal and I look so unprofessional I could just shoot myself.
I have a very nice and polite chat with him and tells me everything he saw when he got there. The boys start to come over to talk with us and in my meanest mom voice I said no and put my hand up to stop them.
Me: No! You guys can just stand there and wait for me. No talking. No moving. Just wait. (shockingly they did it)
I finish up with the fire marshal and by the time I get over to the boys it is a little after 3:00 a.m. I had them lined up and literally just stood there and stared at them. Any time they tried to talk to me I just said no. Not yet. I made them stand there for about 5 minutes while I went from looking around the garage back to giving them my mom face back to looking at the damage then back to glaring and shaking my head, and so on and so forth. I was really doing them a favor because I could hear the people moving from their apartment to the one upstairs. I was trying to give them a little time to at lease hide the party. I am not all mean you know!
Finally. I decided to let them tell me their version. It was pretty honest and pretty funny. A drunk friend tried to climb on top of a rear projection TV and was acting like a monkey. He then jumped off the TV to try to reach the very high ceilings in the garage. Caught the pipe. It immediately broke and the kid fell down. I admit I laughed a little while they were telling me the story. These were not bad guys. Just 20 year old idiots being idiots. I checked out their whole apartment. No damage inside. It was all contained in the garage and they had cleaned up very quickly when it flooded. They ended up with a $1500 repair bill which they paid with no arguments.
Two of them later admitted that I scare the shit out of them so apparently the mom face works. Good to know.
I was pissed that I had to get up and lose sleep. I ended up canceling my hair appointment so that I could get some sleep since by the time I crawled back in bed it was nearly 4:00 a.m. Had to reschedule for later that month. That was a bummer. But these boys cleaned up their mess, paid their bill, and to be honest they kept me laughing the entire time they lived there. They did a lot of dumb stuff. But never anything worse than this. And this is the difference between good kids making a couple mistakes, and entitled assholes being destructive. It was all like this it might not be so bad.
16 days
A few delightful tidbits from what was otherwise and thankfully quiet weekend.
**Overly rude text demanding to know when the time frame in which they will be receiving their deposit check back. They don't move out until the end of July. Soooooo...... yeah...... It for sure won't be until after that. Thanks for asking.
**Mom calls to say her daughter needs out of her lease that begins in August and wants to know process for removing her from lease. Her daughter is having medical issues and will be staying at home for at least the first semester of this up coming college year. First I let her know that I am very sorry her daughter isn't feeling well and I wish her the best with whatever she will be doing to feel better. I then explain how the lease break process works and what we will need to do since she was on a lease with other girls. The mom responds by telling me that her daughters health issues (which she just told me about) are none of my concern and if I don't just take her daughter off the lease she will be calling her attorney. Why do I bother ever trying to be nice to these people??????
**I send out a property wide text to all of the people whose leases are up at the end of the month with reminders and I ask that if they will be out before their lease date is up that they let me know so I can get their walk-throughs done and get their stuff processed sooner. I get more than one response that says they will staying until the last possible minute because the effing paid for it and it is their space until that time. Good for you. Sorry I offered to get your stuff done before hand. Seriously!
Best part is my sunburn. I got to enjoy a lovely day poolside with my kids. Thankful the idiots kept their insanity to them selves for the most part, but a day without distraction + sun + pool = one sunburned mama. But hey, I am just working on my base tan for our family vacation.
16 more days.
**Overly rude text demanding to know when the time frame in which they will be receiving their deposit check back. They don't move out until the end of July. Soooooo...... yeah...... It for sure won't be until after that. Thanks for asking.
**Mom calls to say her daughter needs out of her lease that begins in August and wants to know process for removing her from lease. Her daughter is having medical issues and will be staying at home for at least the first semester of this up coming college year. First I let her know that I am very sorry her daughter isn't feeling well and I wish her the best with whatever she will be doing to feel better. I then explain how the lease break process works and what we will need to do since she was on a lease with other girls. The mom responds by telling me that her daughters health issues (which she just told me about) are none of my concern and if I don't just take her daughter off the lease she will be calling her attorney. Why do I bother ever trying to be nice to these people??????
**I send out a property wide text to all of the people whose leases are up at the end of the month with reminders and I ask that if they will be out before their lease date is up that they let me know so I can get their walk-throughs done and get their stuff processed sooner. I get more than one response that says they will staying until the last possible minute because the effing paid for it and it is their space until that time. Good for you. Sorry I offered to get your stuff done before hand. Seriously!
Best part is my sunburn. I got to enjoy a lovely day poolside with my kids. Thankful the idiots kept their insanity to them selves for the most part, but a day without distraction + sun + pool = one sunburned mama. But hey, I am just working on my base tan for our family vacation.
16 more days.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
23 days
Insanity. The mom who was so awful on Monday just called to apologize for being rude. Thankfully I didn't buy her BS. One second after her not so heartfelt apology she asked about the money she had demanded and immediately became hostile again. What was the point of the apology lady????? Why even waste your breath. Let the attorneys handle and let's not talk anymore. Thanks.
Summer is the worst here. During the fall, winter, and spring they just all do dumb things and say dumb things. But during the summer it is awful because it is all about money. They all think they are owed something even when they are not. The parents who I normally only talk to a couple times a week start calling everyday. The tenants move in and call daily with little things they need fixed. This one I don't mind as much because it is our job to fix the apartments and keep them nice. It is just when they call with a list of 20 things and they are rude, and half of the things are their fault. It is so much easier when it is just drunk antics.
Then maybe I can tell funny stories again.
I am going on vacation in just a few short weeks. My first real vacation in nearly 2 years. I am beyond ready. No angry people. No bitchy tenants. No crazy co-signors. No crabby maintenance man. (I should start an entire second blog about his insanity. For real.) Just my family. A possible cocktail while sunbathing. Many naps. . . I am pretty sure that is what heaven is like.
Just 23 days.
Summer is the worst here. During the fall, winter, and spring they just all do dumb things and say dumb things. But during the summer it is awful because it is all about money. They all think they are owed something even when they are not. The parents who I normally only talk to a couple times a week start calling everyday. The tenants move in and call daily with little things they need fixed. This one I don't mind as much because it is our job to fix the apartments and keep them nice. It is just when they call with a list of 20 things and they are rude, and half of the things are their fault. It is so much easier when it is just drunk antics.
Then maybe I can tell funny stories again.
I am going on vacation in just a few short weeks. My first real vacation in nearly 2 years. I am beyond ready. No angry people. No bitchy tenants. No crazy co-signors. No crabby maintenance man. (I should start an entire second blog about his insanity. For real.) Just my family. A possible cocktail while sunbathing. Many naps. . . I am pretty sure that is what heaven is like.
Just 23 days.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Karma
I have opened this multiple times in the last 24 hours and just not known what to say. I am usually making fun of the idiocy of my tenants and their parents. Never really all that serious. But yesterday for only the second time in almost 2 years, the were just so awful they actually made me cry.
We have been dealing with an on going issue (that I will eventually share but currently it is being handled by attorneys so I will wait to tell it as one crazy story when it is over) with some tenants that didn't even end up moving in. The issue is something we were trying to work with them to resolve. This is two girls moving into a very large, very nice unit. One of the girls had lived with us in a different building the previous year and was always kind of a disaster, but for some reason I had a soft spot for her. When she was having trouble with her uber mean room mates last year, I helped her find a solution that involved a crazy room mate swap. I didn't make them change leases, or pay anything crazy for the move. I just made it happen. I have let this girl sit in my office and cry just because she needed to. I don't do that. I am not that person. I have said over and over that I am not their mother, I am not their counselor, I am not their friend. But I made the mistake of actually liking this tenant. I accidentally gave a shit.
Yesterday her mother called me to discuss the on going issue and informed her daughter would not be living on any of our properties and would not be moving into this apartment. (all details will be shared at a later time) She proceeded to call me so many names and say such heinous things to me that I finally cried. She brought up my children. She addressed my skills as a parent. I have never met this woman in person. She told me I was a swindler and a liar and that I should be ashamed for leading impressionable young adults into such a terrible situation. She informed that I am a bad person and that I deserve whatever awful things come my way. This is all over $450 that she wants back. $450 is all it took for this woman to feel like she had the right to tear down another human.
I get threatened with lawyers all day. It is part of the awful nature of property management. I see insane things and deal with absurd situations daily. I fight about money constantly. I am used to people calling a Bitch. I have been called pretty much every name you can imagine. But this woman made it far more personal. She took the time out of her day to make sure I felt like the smallest person on the planet. I know that I shouldn't have let her get to me. I know I should have just given her my standard 'feel free to call our attorney'. But she knew just what to say to shut me down. I went home last night and could barely even function. Every time my kids were in the room I had to fight to not think about all the things this woman had said to me. A woman who doesn't even know me.
I am fighting right now, as I type this, to not feel the burn of the stuff she said. Not because it is true, but because it was just that mean and awful. I am truly shocked by the thing people are willing to say and do just to get their way. When it comes to my work I do everything according to the lease and according to our states landlord/tenant law. I do that specifically so that no matter what b.s. a tenant or their co-signors try to give me I know I am on the right side of the law. I know that when they make their idol threats it doesn't matter. This woman didn't want it to be about right vs wrong or about resolving the issue. She just wanted to make it about making another human feel bad so that she could feel better.
Well you win lady. I feel bad. I actually feel beyond bad. But I don't feel bad for you and now I sure as shit don't feel bad for your daughter. I feel bad because I allowed you to speak to me that way. I feel bad because I allowed it to effect me on such a level. I will get my shit together and move on. And I will just remember that Karma forgets nothing.
We have been dealing with an on going issue (that I will eventually share but currently it is being handled by attorneys so I will wait to tell it as one crazy story when it is over) with some tenants that didn't even end up moving in. The issue is something we were trying to work with them to resolve. This is two girls moving into a very large, very nice unit. One of the girls had lived with us in a different building the previous year and was always kind of a disaster, but for some reason I had a soft spot for her. When she was having trouble with her uber mean room mates last year, I helped her find a solution that involved a crazy room mate swap. I didn't make them change leases, or pay anything crazy for the move. I just made it happen. I have let this girl sit in my office and cry just because she needed to. I don't do that. I am not that person. I have said over and over that I am not their mother, I am not their counselor, I am not their friend. But I made the mistake of actually liking this tenant. I accidentally gave a shit.
Yesterday her mother called me to discuss the on going issue and informed her daughter would not be living on any of our properties and would not be moving into this apartment. (all details will be shared at a later time) She proceeded to call me so many names and say such heinous things to me that I finally cried. She brought up my children. She addressed my skills as a parent. I have never met this woman in person. She told me I was a swindler and a liar and that I should be ashamed for leading impressionable young adults into such a terrible situation. She informed that I am a bad person and that I deserve whatever awful things come my way. This is all over $450 that she wants back. $450 is all it took for this woman to feel like she had the right to tear down another human.
I get threatened with lawyers all day. It is part of the awful nature of property management. I see insane things and deal with absurd situations daily. I fight about money constantly. I am used to people calling a Bitch. I have been called pretty much every name you can imagine. But this woman made it far more personal. She took the time out of her day to make sure I felt like the smallest person on the planet. I know that I shouldn't have let her get to me. I know I should have just given her my standard 'feel free to call our attorney'. But she knew just what to say to shut me down. I went home last night and could barely even function. Every time my kids were in the room I had to fight to not think about all the things this woman had said to me. A woman who doesn't even know me.
I am fighting right now, as I type this, to not feel the burn of the stuff she said. Not because it is true, but because it was just that mean and awful. I am truly shocked by the thing people are willing to say and do just to get their way. When it comes to my work I do everything according to the lease and according to our states landlord/tenant law. I do that specifically so that no matter what b.s. a tenant or their co-signors try to give me I know I am on the right side of the law. I know that when they make their idol threats it doesn't matter. This woman didn't want it to be about right vs wrong or about resolving the issue. She just wanted to make it about making another human feel bad so that she could feel better.
Well you win lady. I feel bad. I actually feel beyond bad. But I don't feel bad for you and now I sure as shit don't feel bad for your daughter. I feel bad because I allowed you to speak to me that way. I feel bad because I allowed it to effect me on such a level. I will get my shit together and move on. And I will just remember that Karma forgets nothing.
Friday, June 13, 2014
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Flashback #3
So I started working here in September of 2012. We had two boys living in an apartment that were a total disaster. When I started they were over a month behind on rent and had a damage bill that was growing daily. The first day I was here I was told to call them to collect money and if they didn't answer I would need to go and knock on their door. That was how I was introduced to the wonderful world of property management. The boys did not pay that day. They did try to get caught up over the next couple months but were such a continuous disaster we were finally left with no choice but to evict them. Here are some of the highlights of their very short time on our property.
We will call them Idiot A and Idiot B.
Idiot A was only 18. And barely even. He turned 18 after he moved in. Idiot B was 19. (The property manager before was moron. She should have never let a 17 year move in. Especially not to such a nice place.)
One of the first encounters I had with them was on my first day. I went to their door to collect back rent. Idiot B answers the door in his underwear. The overwhelming smell of beer and cigs hit me in the face like a wall when they opened the door. Once I got past that we began discussing payment. He flat out told me that he would pay when he could and that today was not that day. Proceeded to fart extremely loudly, laugh hysterically, and slam the door in my face. Nice. I felt this was his amazing way of saying 'Welcome To Your New Job!' This was probably a good sign I should find another job, but I am a glutton for punishment, so I stayed.
About a week later, Idiot A calls me around midnight while he is wasted to tell me that all the lights are out in his loft and he demands someone come fix it. I asked him if he had checked his breaker box. He told me that wasn't his fucking job. I asked if he had paid his utility bill. He told me it was not of my business. I hung up and let him sit in the dark for the night. He called me back about 10 times but I didn't answer. Our maintenance man swung by in the morning and they had somehow thrown the main breaker in their apartment. The kid called me later and told me he was pissed we hadn't just done that the night before. Really? Seriously? At this point I asked my boss if it was always like this or these were just really bad tenants. He promised these were just really bad ones. I think he was trying not to scare me off in my first week.
About a week after that I go and knock on their door again to try and collect some rent money. When Idiot A opens the door a dog runs out, poops on the side walk next to me and then runs back into the apartment. The kids yells good boy and the dog. I told him he would need to pick up the poo. He said that he didn't have a dog so it couldn't be his problem. True story. Having only been working here for two weeks I was so flustered but the level of rudeness and lying that I just left. No money in hand, pile of poo on the side walk. I of course begin to get calls in minutes from the neighbors complaining about the poo which my maintenance man also refuses to pick up. FML. Guess who cleaned up the poo?
Later that same week, Idiot B calls to tell me that their toilet is clogged and so is the kitchen sink. It is about 3 in the afternoon and he sounds hammer already. I tell him I will get someone there as soon as I can and I try to talk to him about the back rent owed. He tells me he won't talk about money until the toilet is fixed. Then tells me it has been clogged for days and it is now 'fucking up his game with the ladies'. Yep. I am sure the clogged toilet is your problem buddy.
By this time I have worked here about a month and they have brought in some money but still aren't caught up. I beg my boss to evict them. He wanted to wait. No idea why.
Sometime in early October the boys threw a party. They ended up throwing someone through the front window and an all out brawl broke out in the lot. The police came and broke up the party and found that all of their 16 and 17 year old friends were there. Thankfully this helped with my eviction begging and we began the process. Now this is a process that takes a little time. As soon as the boys found out they were getting evicted they amped up the insanity. They partied every night. I was getting awakened by the police and the neighbors at all hours to here about the insanity.
We finally contact the boys parents to tell them what is going on because we doubt they are aware. Wrong. One of the mothers is semi apologetic but lets me know they are coming down that weekend to move out their son. That would be Idiot B's parents. They however, can't believe we can't just wait until Christmas break when it would be more convenient for them to make the two hour drive to get his things. Sure lady, we will wait three more months for your non rent paying son to destroy an apartment. Ok.
Idiot A's parents said I was lying and they were going to sue us for illegally kicking out their son. Remember A is the young one. They actually used the phrase 'my baby wouldn't do that'. (which is why we love that phrase around here!) Well Idiot A's parents came down to get his things and got here a day early before he could hide the disaster that is his life. They found him wasted and passed out on his couch. Saw the insane amount of dog poo that was outside his front door because the boys were too lazy to walk the dog, and saw the beer bottles, booze bottles, and body sized holes in the walls. She also saw that doors were off the hinges and the front window was broken for the second time in two months. She was kind enough to apologize to me.
The boys moved out, and we got a judgment against them and we are still getting garnishment checks from Idiot B's paychecks because his parents wouldn't pay to clean up his idiocy and he was too dumb to just pay for it on his own.
Why oh why did I not quit then?
I am leaving out so much from this story. Like the Federal Marshal's, the burning car, the peeing on doors . . . This would be the longest post ever if I included it all. But needless to say it was quite the welcome to this place.
We will call them Idiot A and Idiot B.
Idiot A was only 18. And barely even. He turned 18 after he moved in. Idiot B was 19. (The property manager before was moron. She should have never let a 17 year move in. Especially not to such a nice place.)
One of the first encounters I had with them was on my first day. I went to their door to collect back rent. Idiot B answers the door in his underwear. The overwhelming smell of beer and cigs hit me in the face like a wall when they opened the door. Once I got past that we began discussing payment. He flat out told me that he would pay when he could and that today was not that day. Proceeded to fart extremely loudly, laugh hysterically, and slam the door in my face. Nice. I felt this was his amazing way of saying 'Welcome To Your New Job!' This was probably a good sign I should find another job, but I am a glutton for punishment, so I stayed.
About a week later, Idiot A calls me around midnight while he is wasted to tell me that all the lights are out in his loft and he demands someone come fix it. I asked him if he had checked his breaker box. He told me that wasn't his fucking job. I asked if he had paid his utility bill. He told me it was not of my business. I hung up and let him sit in the dark for the night. He called me back about 10 times but I didn't answer. Our maintenance man swung by in the morning and they had somehow thrown the main breaker in their apartment. The kid called me later and told me he was pissed we hadn't just done that the night before. Really? Seriously? At this point I asked my boss if it was always like this or these were just really bad tenants. He promised these were just really bad ones. I think he was trying not to scare me off in my first week.
About a week after that I go and knock on their door again to try and collect some rent money. When Idiot A opens the door a dog runs out, poops on the side walk next to me and then runs back into the apartment. The kids yells good boy and the dog. I told him he would need to pick up the poo. He said that he didn't have a dog so it couldn't be his problem. True story. Having only been working here for two weeks I was so flustered but the level of rudeness and lying that I just left. No money in hand, pile of poo on the side walk. I of course begin to get calls in minutes from the neighbors complaining about the poo which my maintenance man also refuses to pick up. FML. Guess who cleaned up the poo?
Later that same week, Idiot B calls to tell me that their toilet is clogged and so is the kitchen sink. It is about 3 in the afternoon and he sounds hammer already. I tell him I will get someone there as soon as I can and I try to talk to him about the back rent owed. He tells me he won't talk about money until the toilet is fixed. Then tells me it has been clogged for days and it is now 'fucking up his game with the ladies'. Yep. I am sure the clogged toilet is your problem buddy.
By this time I have worked here about a month and they have brought in some money but still aren't caught up. I beg my boss to evict them. He wanted to wait. No idea why.
Sometime in early October the boys threw a party. They ended up throwing someone through the front window and an all out brawl broke out in the lot. The police came and broke up the party and found that all of their 16 and 17 year old friends were there. Thankfully this helped with my eviction begging and we began the process. Now this is a process that takes a little time. As soon as the boys found out they were getting evicted they amped up the insanity. They partied every night. I was getting awakened by the police and the neighbors at all hours to here about the insanity.
We finally contact the boys parents to tell them what is going on because we doubt they are aware. Wrong. One of the mothers is semi apologetic but lets me know they are coming down that weekend to move out their son. That would be Idiot B's parents. They however, can't believe we can't just wait until Christmas break when it would be more convenient for them to make the two hour drive to get his things. Sure lady, we will wait three more months for your non rent paying son to destroy an apartment. Ok.
Idiot A's parents said I was lying and they were going to sue us for illegally kicking out their son. Remember A is the young one. They actually used the phrase 'my baby wouldn't do that'. (which is why we love that phrase around here!) Well Idiot A's parents came down to get his things and got here a day early before he could hide the disaster that is his life. They found him wasted and passed out on his couch. Saw the insane amount of dog poo that was outside his front door because the boys were too lazy to walk the dog, and saw the beer bottles, booze bottles, and body sized holes in the walls. She also saw that doors were off the hinges and the front window was broken for the second time in two months. She was kind enough to apologize to me.
The boys moved out, and we got a judgment against them and we are still getting garnishment checks from Idiot B's paychecks because his parents wouldn't pay to clean up his idiocy and he was too dumb to just pay for it on his own.
Why oh why did I not quit then?
I am leaving out so much from this story. Like the Federal Marshal's, the burning car, the peeing on doors . . . This would be the longest post ever if I included it all. But needless to say it was quite the welcome to this place.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Wow
Holy Crap. I feel like I should call the crazy wagon to pick up the parent I just spoke to. Wait for it.
A woman we shall refer to as Satan for this story, called me earlier and left a message wanting some information on her sons lease that she just co-signed. I returned her call a few minutes ago, and let me tell you it has been an interesting 10 minutes in my life.
Ring ring ring. . .
Satan: Hi there Jane, I need a bit of information regarding this lease. I need to know where to send it (the address is listed on the front page) and I just had a few questions about that actual unit they will be living in since I haven't seen it yet.
Me: Absolutely. (give her the address and specs on the unit) I can also open up some photos of the unit online for about 20 minutes so you can see it. I don't like to leave them up too long because I will get tons of calls from people who think it is available since it is one of our nicest units.
Satan: Thank you that would be lovely. Can you just open them now and I will look at them tonight?
Me: What time do you think you will look at them and I will open them up at that time, I don't like to leave them up too long because I will get tons of calls from people who think it is available since it is one of our nicest units.
Satan: (Heavy sigh) It's fine, I guess I will just see it when I move my son in this August. Can I just bring you his rent at the time of move in.
Me: (now confused about the pictures online and why that was so difficult) Well his lease started the first of this month so if you could mail June now with the lease, July at the time it is due, you can bring the August rent when he moves in so long as it is in on time.
Satan: He isn't living there this summer, so why should I pay rent for those months? He replaced someone on this lease isn't this rent their problem?
Me: Well his name is on the lease as of June first so he is responsible for the rent whether he choses to stay there or not. (I said this as politely as I could, truly. I was so confused by this point because she was being extremely hostile, all I could do was be nice and just keep explaining things because clearly this woman wasn't understanding)
Satan: How dare you attack me and be so rude! My son just signed this lease, how could it have started at the beginning of this month?? I know how these things work and you are just trying to manipulate me.
Me: Ma'm, I am not sure how you think I attacked you (my confusion is just escalating by now.) Your sons lease began on June 1 and he owes June rent. That is not me being rude that is fact. And I just pulled out the actual lease and he signed it back in April. I am sorry that he is just now giving it to you. Do you have the copy of the lease in front of you mam?
Satan: (screaming at his point) I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SPEAK TO ME THIS WAY. I AM GOING TO HAVE MY ATTORNEY GET YOU FOR THIS. THIS LEASE ISN'T EVEN BINDING. YOU DON'T HAVE THE CO-SIGNATURE YET. YOU CAN'T ENFORCE ANY OF THIS. YOU ARE THE RUDEST PERSON I HAVE EVER SPOKEN TO.
Me: Ma'm I am very confuse right now. I don't understand what you are upset about. (speaking as clamly as I can, and being as polite as I can because her insanity is literally scaring the shit out of me at this point) I am only giving you the facts of the lease. He signed it in April and I went over it all with him before he signed. He knew his lease started in June. I am not sure why he is just now giving it to you, you will need to ask him that. Also, it is actually a binding contract because your son is 20. He was not coerced in to signing. He is not a minor. If you will turn to the front page of the lease it has the lease term dates at the very top. In the middle of the page it goes over when rent is due and how late fees work. I can gladly go over it with you.
Satan: (by now completely hysterical) WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE EVIL AND MEAN AND YOU CAN NOT SPEAK LIKE THIS TO ME!
Me: Ma'm I am very confused by this conversation. I think we may need to end it now. If you feel you need to speak to your attorney I can give you all of my contact information and I can give you our lawyers info as well. I want to be helpful but you are not making any sense and I am not sure what else I can do. At no point have I attacked you, been rude, or raised my voice. You are the one yelling and calling me names. If you would like to calm down and call me back I can gladly help you to understand the lease and all of the rent due dates.
SATAN: (screaming the loudest she has screamed so far)YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT ATTACK ME AND YELL AT ME SINCE YOU CALLED ME. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU EVEN CALLED ME IF THIS IS ALL YOU ARE GOING TO DO (remember I was returning her call)YOU WILL PROBABLY NEXT TELL ME YOU EXPECT ME TO PAY A LATE FEE. THIS IS SO UNLAWFUL. I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU REGRET HOW RUDE YOU HAVE BEEN TO ME. I AM CALLING MY ATTORNEY AND MY HUSBAND AS SOON AS WE HANG UP!
Me: Ma'm I am getting off the phone now. I do not understand any of this.
SATAN: YOU CAN NOT HANG UP ON ME!!!! THIS TREATMENT IS RIDICULOUS!!! YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM MY ATTORNEY IN THE NEAR FUTURE.
At this point Satan slams down the phone and I am left speechless. I checked with my book keeper who was in her office to make sure she had heard the conversation so that I had proof that I had never raised my voice, attacked her, or called her a name. Thank God I will have back up. This was quite possible the craziest conversation I have had since I started working here. And I have had some crazy talks.
A woman we shall refer to as Satan for this story, called me earlier and left a message wanting some information on her sons lease that she just co-signed. I returned her call a few minutes ago, and let me tell you it has been an interesting 10 minutes in my life.
Ring ring ring. . .
Satan: Hi there Jane, I need a bit of information regarding this lease. I need to know where to send it (the address is listed on the front page) and I just had a few questions about that actual unit they will be living in since I haven't seen it yet.
Me: Absolutely. (give her the address and specs on the unit) I can also open up some photos of the unit online for about 20 minutes so you can see it. I don't like to leave them up too long because I will get tons of calls from people who think it is available since it is one of our nicest units.
Satan: Thank you that would be lovely. Can you just open them now and I will look at them tonight?
Me: What time do you think you will look at them and I will open them up at that time, I don't like to leave them up too long because I will get tons of calls from people who think it is available since it is one of our nicest units.
Satan: (Heavy sigh) It's fine, I guess I will just see it when I move my son in this August. Can I just bring you his rent at the time of move in.
Me: (now confused about the pictures online and why that was so difficult) Well his lease started the first of this month so if you could mail June now with the lease, July at the time it is due, you can bring the August rent when he moves in so long as it is in on time.
Satan: He isn't living there this summer, so why should I pay rent for those months? He replaced someone on this lease isn't this rent their problem?
Me: Well his name is on the lease as of June first so he is responsible for the rent whether he choses to stay there or not. (I said this as politely as I could, truly. I was so confused by this point because she was being extremely hostile, all I could do was be nice and just keep explaining things because clearly this woman wasn't understanding)
Satan: How dare you attack me and be so rude! My son just signed this lease, how could it have started at the beginning of this month?? I know how these things work and you are just trying to manipulate me.
Me: Ma'm, I am not sure how you think I attacked you (my confusion is just escalating by now.) Your sons lease began on June 1 and he owes June rent. That is not me being rude that is fact. And I just pulled out the actual lease and he signed it back in April. I am sorry that he is just now giving it to you. Do you have the copy of the lease in front of you mam?
Satan: (screaming at his point) I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SPEAK TO ME THIS WAY. I AM GOING TO HAVE MY ATTORNEY GET YOU FOR THIS. THIS LEASE ISN'T EVEN BINDING. YOU DON'T HAVE THE CO-SIGNATURE YET. YOU CAN'T ENFORCE ANY OF THIS. YOU ARE THE RUDEST PERSON I HAVE EVER SPOKEN TO.
Me: Ma'm I am very confuse right now. I don't understand what you are upset about. (speaking as clamly as I can, and being as polite as I can because her insanity is literally scaring the shit out of me at this point) I am only giving you the facts of the lease. He signed it in April and I went over it all with him before he signed. He knew his lease started in June. I am not sure why he is just now giving it to you, you will need to ask him that. Also, it is actually a binding contract because your son is 20. He was not coerced in to signing. He is not a minor. If you will turn to the front page of the lease it has the lease term dates at the very top. In the middle of the page it goes over when rent is due and how late fees work. I can gladly go over it with you.
Satan: (by now completely hysterical) WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE EVIL AND MEAN AND YOU CAN NOT SPEAK LIKE THIS TO ME!
Me: Ma'm I am very confused by this conversation. I think we may need to end it now. If you feel you need to speak to your attorney I can give you all of my contact information and I can give you our lawyers info as well. I want to be helpful but you are not making any sense and I am not sure what else I can do. At no point have I attacked you, been rude, or raised my voice. You are the one yelling and calling me names. If you would like to calm down and call me back I can gladly help you to understand the lease and all of the rent due dates.
SATAN: (screaming the loudest she has screamed so far)YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT ATTACK ME AND YELL AT ME SINCE YOU CALLED ME. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU EVEN CALLED ME IF THIS IS ALL YOU ARE GOING TO DO (remember I was returning her call)YOU WILL PROBABLY NEXT TELL ME YOU EXPECT ME TO PAY A LATE FEE. THIS IS SO UNLAWFUL. I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU REGRET HOW RUDE YOU HAVE BEEN TO ME. I AM CALLING MY ATTORNEY AND MY HUSBAND AS SOON AS WE HANG UP!
Me: Ma'm I am getting off the phone now. I do not understand any of this.
SATAN: YOU CAN NOT HANG UP ON ME!!!! THIS TREATMENT IS RIDICULOUS!!! YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM MY ATTORNEY IN THE NEAR FUTURE.
At this point Satan slams down the phone and I am left speechless. I checked with my book keeper who was in her office to make sure she had heard the conversation so that I had proof that I had never raised my voice, attacked her, or called her a name. Thank God I will have back up. This was quite possible the craziest conversation I have had since I started working here. And I have had some crazy talks.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Daring to believe
Almost all the way done with all these crazy people moving out and new ones moving in. I must say I have high hopes for this lease term. I feel like we might actually have a fairly decent group of people. Nice mix of college kids, young professionals, and even some real grown ups. So exciting.
Still have a few empty units. That is stressful. I have my boss freaking out because we have 8 empty units (out of 125) I am on a mission to get up to 100% leased. But this year is a hard year.
In this lovely town of mine we have gone from about 350 units in this area, up to 500 units and we are awaiting nearly 900 more units/beds to open up in the next year. All of this in a very small part of town. This area is having a huge boom which is great, but people around here don't seem to understand that if you build it, and there aren't enough people to fill them . . . Well at some point one of the builders will have to realize the market is a big saturated.
College towns like ours are into this new by the bed rental set-up. The company I work for doesn't participate in it. Basically it is a four bedroom apartment. Fully furnished (Gross). Each bedroom is on it's own lease and they share the living room and kitchen. Usually what happens is 4 friends go in on an apartment together and they don't have to share with strangers. But if one breaks a lease, the owners of these properties have every right to put whoever they want into that bedroom. Also if only 2 or 3 friends want to go on a lease they can fill the other spots with people who don't have room mates. This sounds like the most awful living situation ever. Truly. But everyone went nuts for it.
All the college kids who don't want to live on campus that usually flock to this part of town to live and party started getting all excited about these new places. We began to worry about all these new units/beds going in around the area. These kids love a shiny new toy. And we are not new. I kept looking at my 8 units I don't have lease yet. (only 2 of them are actually empty right now, I have 6 that just don't have the next lease term filled) I have had heartburn. I haven't been able to sleep. I like to see all of my places leased up. One less thing for me to worry about. I just knew all these other places were full. How was I going find anyone to lease our stuff when they all had gone to live at all these new places (which aren't all by the bed rentals, some of them are very nice new apartments and lofts).
Yesterday I was showing some places to some potential tenants. They brought along a friend. He happens to manage one of these places. He and I got to talking. They are only 50% leased. Whaaaaaat?????? Then he told me two of the other new buildings are about the same. I am at about 95% and I am stressing. And they are only at 50%??? Let me just tell you I kind of feel like a bad ass now.
Then this poor guy starts telling me about his new tenants. And how they are all fighting about who they are living with, and how they are so rude, they complain about everything . . . Oh this poor guy. Didn't have the heart to tell him that I had quite a few idiots move over there. Guessing they are now making him crazy.
Maybe this year really will be better. Do I dare to believe it?
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Our future is bleak
I can assure you my lack of posts has nothing to do with my tenants behaving. I have just been too busy this week with people moving out and getting the lofts turned and getting people moved back in. The idiots are still idiots. Here are a few snippits of my week so far. I will expand on them later:
**A tenant informs us his smoke detector is beeping and he has the battery to change it (we change them if they are up to high for them to reach. Some of our units have 20 ft ceilings) He tells us it is weird, because normally he can just throw a shoe at it and it stops beeping, but this time it wouldn't stop. I ask him if there are marks on the wall where he has been throwing things at it and he says yes, but that it is our fault since his smoke detector was beeping. Ok. Sure. It is my fault you are too lazy and stupid to make sure your smoke detectors work. Let's go with that.
**A tenant texted me and asked for our mailing address. I give it to her. It is a PO box. She texts back and asks if it should be addressed to me. I say no, address it to the company at that address. She texts me again a few minutes later and says she is confused. Should she address it to the PO box or to the company. I literally had to explain to her how to write and address on an envelope. She is 20. This is our future.
**A tenant texted me the other day at around 7 in the evening and asked for the phone number for the cable company. I offered (very sarcastically) to google it for him. He said ok. Seriously. He wanted me to look up a phone number for him. For the record I did not look it up. Again, this person is 20.
**Had some girls move into a large apartment on Tuesday. Yesterday their dad called and freaked out on me. Because they told him they found a dead body outside their apartment on the side walk. I also freaked out. Obviously. That was probably terrifying. Poor girls. They said it was a hit and run and they man died right there in front of their door. . . . . . . . . Bet you can guess what I am going to say next . . . . . . . . Lies. All lies. Someone was hit by a car, were taken to the hospital, and will be fine. I called the police to get all of this info. Who makes something like that up????????? My tenants. That's who.
Needless to say I am so glad tomorrow is Friday. I need a break from this place.
**A tenant informs us his smoke detector is beeping and he has the battery to change it (we change them if they are up to high for them to reach. Some of our units have 20 ft ceilings) He tells us it is weird, because normally he can just throw a shoe at it and it stops beeping, but this time it wouldn't stop. I ask him if there are marks on the wall where he has been throwing things at it and he says yes, but that it is our fault since his smoke detector was beeping. Ok. Sure. It is my fault you are too lazy and stupid to make sure your smoke detectors work. Let's go with that.
**A tenant texted me and asked for our mailing address. I give it to her. It is a PO box. She texts back and asks if it should be addressed to me. I say no, address it to the company at that address. She texts me again a few minutes later and says she is confused. Should she address it to the PO box or to the company. I literally had to explain to her how to write and address on an envelope. She is 20. This is our future.
**A tenant texted me the other day at around 7 in the evening and asked for the phone number for the cable company. I offered (very sarcastically) to google it for him. He said ok. Seriously. He wanted me to look up a phone number for him. For the record I did not look it up. Again, this person is 20.
**Had some girls move into a large apartment on Tuesday. Yesterday their dad called and freaked out on me. Because they told him they found a dead body outside their apartment on the side walk. I also freaked out. Obviously. That was probably terrifying. Poor girls. They said it was a hit and run and they man died right there in front of their door. . . . . . . . . Bet you can guess what I am going to say next . . . . . . . . Lies. All lies. Someone was hit by a car, were taken to the hospital, and will be fine. I called the police to get all of this info. Who makes something like that up????????? My tenants. That's who.
Needless to say I am so glad tomorrow is Friday. I need a break from this place.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Tardiness
No. Just don't be late. It's rude. It's unprofessional. It creates chaos. It's stressful. It's immature.
ANNOYED!!!!!!!!!! That is all.
Monday, June 2, 2014
Oh Monday, how I love thee
It isn't even noon yet and so far I have been called a multitude of names and someone has let me know they are suing us. The day started out so wonderfully with a sweet note on my night stand from my sweet daughter. I had high hopes for today, which the idiots who live in idiotville are quickly shattering. Once I get an answer from our attorney, I will share the story of why we are being threatened with a lawsuit this time. In the mean time I am wondering what time the smoothie place a couple blocks away opens. And by smoothie I mean booze filled frozen concoctions that I like to pretend are healthy because they taste like fruit. Please say a small prayer for me. This week is looking to be just super.
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