Elephant Heard

The girls that live above my office often sound like a heard of elephants.  They stomp.  They definitely don't know how to walk in heals.  I often wonder if they are teaching aerobics up there.  And today I think they might be playing tag.  It is so loud!!!  And to top it off one of them really really likes Adele.  And I feel like it might be my duty to tell her not to quit to her day job.  (Not that she probably has a job.  I am sure her parents are paying for her rent and funding her future failed singing career.)  But she is belting it out.  And the best thing I can compare it to is a cat dying.  And that might be too friendly.   I have turned up my music but I can still hear it.  Somebody help me..... 


Update:  One hour later, I am pretty sure they just have Hello on repeat.  Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Promotion

This is normally our quietest time of the year.  The students are gone.  The adults that live here are relaxed and enjoying a break from the idiots.  All is calm.......  Nope. Not this year.  

We have had multiple broken windows.  We had to evict a commercial tenant.  There has been some break ins.  Two roofs are leaking.  Our maintenance mans wife had a baby so he isn't here.  My boss is beginning his annual freak out over pre-leasing.  (We are far ahead of where we have ever been for this time of year so he is just going to need to chill the ef out.)   And that is just the last 5 days.  

And while all of this has been happening we were working on a project to submit a bid for more properties.  Because why not.  We need to add to the chaos.  That is a great idea. 

Now I am not one to complain (pause for laughter) but this isn't making me feel all Christmassy.

And just to make it more fun about half our tenants paid rent late this month.  Which of course they felt was my fault.  I think I am promoting myself from mayor of idiotville to captain of the insane train.  I think it has a nicer ring. 

All This

This.

Short and sweet

Convo with my boss.....

Me: do you have any heartburn meds? 

Boss: yes. In my desk drawer. Under the gun.

Me: ***(sigh)*** Do you think that says something about this job?

Boss: that it's exciting and we eat well?

Me: ********facepalm********

Ummmm..... Yeah......

This basically sums up this week.  It has been insane.  This should be one of our quietest times of the year.  The students are wrapping up finals and leaving town.  My grown up tenants are kicking back and enjoying the silence.  Our maintenance guys get a much needed break from constant running.  But nope.  No peace for me. I am worn out this week.  This week is how crazy it used to be and what drove me to leave.  I have to remind myself over and over this week that this is just one week.  Just one weird and crazy week.  There has been evictions, threats, a tenant accidentally texting me about their drug deal, and a never ending project we are working on to acquire another property, because we really need to add some more units to our crazy days.  Sure.  Why not. When I have more than 2 minutes I will share all my fun stories from this week. 

Merry Christmas!!!!!  Tis the season to be a jerk!!!

Actual and Factual

This morning a tenant texted and asked if we could change his smoke detector battery.  This is a service we provide for some of our tenants as some of the devices are up really high.  They just need to provide the battery. Here is how the conversation went.  Verbatim. We shall call him Fratboy Bob.

Fratboy Bob: Can you send someone to change my smoke detector battery?  It has been chirping for days.
Me: Absolutely.  Just leave the battery on the kitchen counter.
Fratboy Bob:  If I could reach the battery I wouldn't need you to come.
Me: (I will not call him a moron.... I will not call him a moron) I mean the new battery.
Fratboy Bob:  What new battery?
Me:  (ummmmmmmm) The battery for your smoke detector.
Fratboy Bob: I don't have a battery.
Me:  Just let me know when you have it, and I will send one of our guys.
Fratboy Bob:  Why do I have to get the battery? 
Me:  You are responsible for that.  We just change it as a courtesy because they are so high up.
Fratboy Bob:  That's f*&%# ridiculous.

I stay silent.  No point in texting back at this point.  I just let him stew on the fact that he actually has to provide something for himself for a few minutes.  I knew he would be back.

Fratboy Bob:  I have a battery here. I found one in a drawer.
Me: A 9volt?
Fratboy Bob: No.  It is a AAA.
Me: Well it needs a 9volt.
Fratboy Bob:  What the f*&%??????  Why can't you just use this one?  It is brand new.
Me: Because it takes a 9volt. 
Fratboy Bob:  So you expect me to just go spend money on a stupid f*&^ing battery because you want to make even more money off us??????
Me: Well we don't make any money off you buying a battery at the store.  And the smoke detectors are there for your safety.
Fratboy Bob:  This place is insane. 
Me: Just le me know when you have it and I will get my guys up there.
Fratboy Bob: F*&$ off.

I have a conversation like this about twice a year.  They are shocked they have to buy their own batteries and light bulbs. Oh the horror.  And I am a big mean lady for not just giving them free things.  And apparently I am now making money off things they buy at the grocery store.  Well I need to call the local store and find out where the heck my check is. 

The Maintenace Man

Our maintenance man quit.  For the 297th time.  He constantly threatened to quit.  Handed in his keys a million times. But always asked for his job back the next day.  The level of immaturity and unprofessionalism rivaled that of our tenants.  When I came back from my little hiatus, he almost immediately threatened to quit, again.  I said 'good, then quit.'  He of course tried to go above me to my boss who said the same thing.  We were tired of it.  Plus we have another maintenance man and it is the slow season.  One will be plenty for now.  So we all agreed to give him 30 days to find another job.  He found a job.  Yesterday he handed in his keys.  His first assignment today with the new plumbing company he went to work for..... Yep.  Our properties.  Yet again proving God has a wicked sense of humor.