Stalker

About 2 weeks ago, I had one of the craziest experiences I have had so far here.  And that is saying a lot.

I informed a tenant that they still owed for July rent.  3 room mates had paid, one had not.  I let them know who and what was still owed.  What followed is one of the craziest exchanges I have ever had in my whole life.  The girl informs me that someone else owes the rent and not her, because she had a subletter for the month of July.  I tried to explain that it was her name on the lease so she would need to get the rent paid, and then she would need to get her subletter to reimburse her. She just could not understand why she owed this money.  She needed to talk to her mother.  Who from this point on shall just be known as the stalker.  She speaks to the stalker and then the stalker calls me.  And she is fired up.

Me: Thank you for calling Blah blah blah, this is Jane, how can I help you.
Stalker:  (screaming into the phone) This is blah blah's mother.  She has just called and informed me that you are telling her she owes rent for July.  That is 100% incorrect.  How dare you call her and try to extort her this way. (this is by far my favorite accusation that I get)
Me: Mam, if you can calm down, we can discuss the issue, but I can't talk to you when you are screaming at me.
Stalker: (screaming even louder) There is nothing to discuss!!  How dare you be so rude to me.  She does not owe this money.  She didn't move in until August.  She does not have to pay July rent.  How dare you!
Me: Mam, her name is on the lease.  She does owe the rent.  And again, I need you to calm down.  I won't discuss this with you if you are just going to scream. 
Stalker: (even louder) F#$K You!  I am an adult and I can act however I feel like. (she actually said these words) and I don't have to F@#king calm down if I don't F@#king fell like it.  You are just some power hungry kid who think you can do whatever you want to your tenants.  F@#k you.
Me: Mam, I am not a power hungry kid.  I am a 37 year old professional, trying to do my job.  And I am an also an adult, and I will not be spoken to this way.  If you don't stop yelling, I will hang up. 
Stalker: You have to listen to me. It is your F@#king job.
Me: No where in my job description does it say that I have to listen to someone berate me and be rude, so again, and for the last time, calm down and I will speak to you.  But if you continue this way I will ....
Stalker: F@#k you.  If you hang up, I swear I will just keep calling back.  Let me speak to you boss.
Me: (and this is another one of my favorite things to say) I am the boss.
Stalker: I will drive down there from Blah blah and I will deal with you in person if you hang up on me. (still screaming) and believe me when I say, you would much rather deal with me on the phone.
Me: Mam, I am hanging now.  You are now threatening me.  Please call back when you have calmed down.  (I hang up)

I immediately call the owner of the properties to let him know that I am pretty sure this is going to escalate even more and to let him know that I think someone else now needs to be present for all conversations.  While I am on the phone with him she calls about 12 times.   He tells me not to speak to her until he gets there.  He is headed to the office and will be there in 15.

After about the first 10 minutes she has called about 20 more times.  I finally answer, and just cut her off from the beginning and it goes like this:
Me:  I have been instructed not to speak to you until the owner arrives.  I am only answering to let you know that I will call you when he gets here.  Please stop calling my phone.  You are tying up a business line.
Stalker: F@#k you!!!!  You will not hang up on me again.  I swear I will just keep calling.  And I am getting in the car now to drive down there you bitch!!!  You will not speak to me this way!! 
Me:  I am hanging up.  I will speak to you the owner gets here.  (I hang up)

He arrives about 5 minutes later, and in the mean time she has called about 10 more times.  He and I have a quick pow-wow about what is happening, all the while she is calling over and over.  He is baffled why she doesn't think her daughter should pay the rent for something she had signed a lease for.  (welcome to my life)  We finally call her back.  I put her on speaker and she just begins screaming into the phone before I can say anything.  The owner takes over the conversation.

Owner: Mam, I need you to calm down.  You will not speak to me that way, or my manager that way. Am I clear?  We will not discuss this with you until you calm down.
Stalker: (Immediately calm)  Thank you sir for helping me.  Jane has been so unwilling to help. 
Me: (chin hits floor)
Stalker:  She just really has been so rude.
Owner: Mam, I have been sitting here. I am aware of what happened.
Stalker:  Oh, good, then you heard all her attitude towards me. 
Owner:  If we could just discuss the situation at hand, I can explain why your daughter owes the rent.

He proceeds to explain how a signed lease works, that her daughter does owe the rent, and that she will need to get it paid ASAP.  She says thank you for explaining it to her, and she will get it taken care of immediately.  Are you kidding me?????  Is this real life??  When it was all said and done she had called 57 times in just about one hour.  That is crazy.  Apparently she is one of those women who hate other women because all she needed was a man to put her in her place.  Insanity.

And these convos are becoming more frequent.  Parents trying to tell me why their kids don't own the money, or why I am an awful person for making their children live up to their end of the contract. 

Get a grip people.  You are raising an entire generation of assholes. 

Boom

So back in January, all the delightful college kids went home for the holidays.  I had sent out reminders in December about paying January rent.  Experience told me that they would all forget once they got home. 

Of course about a quarter of my tenants forgot to pay rent.  Here is the lovely exchange I had with a parent via text about their child's rent.  On January 16th:

Hover Mother: My son says he owes for January.  I tried to get online and pay but it won't let me.
Me: Online pay has not been available since October.
Hover Mother: No I always pay online.
Me: Maybe before October.  But his October, November, and December rent were not paid online. It is no longer offered as it is very expensive for such a small company.
Hover Mother: I know for a fact I paid online, I am not sure why you are lying.
Me: I can give you the check number that you used to pay his rent, if that would help you.  Also, do you need to know the amount of the late fee so you can include it in his January rent?
Hover Mother: I am not paying a late fee.  It is your fault because you took away the online this month. 
Me: Mam, This will now be the fourth month it has been gone.  Here are your check number's from the previous months ###, ###, ###.  They were all received in the office by the 1st.  From you.  We allowed a grace period the first month the online pay was gone so people could get used to the online pay being gone. We are not doing that this month.
Hover Mother:  I need to speak to you boss, I am not sure why you insist on being so rude and lying.
Me: I am the boss. 
Hover Mother: I don't believe you.
Me: I'm not sure how to help you.  He owes for January.  It is late.  None of that is rude or a lie.  Please let me know if you would like the late fee total.
Hover mother: Do you own the property?
Me: No.
Hover Mother:  I want to speak to the owner. 
Me: He won't tell you anything different than me and I manage the properties, not him.
Hover Mother: I want to speak to him now.  (she calls instead of texts at this point.)

At this point I call in the owner to sit in on the phone call, I put her on speaker and we begin a lovely chat.

Hover Mother:  Jane has been extremely rude to me regarding the January rent.  I need to get this taken care of and I think it is absurd that she is requiring us to pay a late fee. Can you help us get this resolved?
Owner: Yes, she has made me aware of the situation.  I have read the texts.  I am not sure where the confusion is. What can I do for you to help?
Hover Mother: She is telling me lies and.... (owner cuts her off)
Owner:  Actually mam, I am looking over the rent records, and Jane is correct.  You paid via check the last few months.  Not online.  So I know you were aware there was no online pay.  Also the check always arrived by the 1st so it would seem you also are aware of when it is due.  So again, if you could tell me where your confusion is, I would gladly help you.  Were you just needing to know the total of the late fee so you could add it to your rent.
Hover mother: (silence)
Owner:  I am going back to my office, Jane can assist you from this point on.
Me: Mam, would you like that total?
Hover Mother: (quietly, yes)

Me:

I'm Baaaa-ack

I would like to tell you that it has clamed down and that is why I have not been posting but, alas, that would be a lie.  They are still crazy, and I am still losing my mind with their antics.  I think I have been upgraded from the Mayor of Idiotville, to the Governor of Crazy.  (edit: just checked on an old post and I had already promoted myself from mayor to captain of the crazy train.  So, in very exciting news, this is my second promotion in less than a year!)

They actually drove through another wall.  Another one.  How does this happen???  This time it wasn't a tenant, just a random person.  But still.  It happened.  Some cars were broken into, which is of course my fault.  Rent went unpaid.  Again, my fault.  Drunk people broke stuff, idiots lost stuff, crazies lied about stuff.  All in all it has been a pretty exciting few months.

We just went through 3 months of move outs and move ins.  And I do have some pretty good stuff from that. 

And then there was the most bat-shit crazy mom I have ever encountered who managed to call me 52 times in just under an hour.  That is not a typo that does say 52. 

I will spend the next few weeks getting all caught up with the past few months worth of stories.  And I can assure there will be some good ones to come because I have a really amazing crop of special little snowflakes who just moved in. 

I am pretty excited to start sharing!!  Wait for it......