Difficult People

We survived another round of move outs and ins.  Barely.  I had help for the first time ever this year, so that was kind of magical.  But the tenants remain their delightful selves.  As do their enabling parents.  My baby wouldn't do that is still my favorite attitude I get from these people.  Thankfully, as always I have pictures, texts, saved voicemails, and police reports to back up the fact that yes, they actually would and did do just that.

On the last day of move ins, I had an office full of parents and new tenants all eager to move in.  I had a girl here to pick up keys to get into her new space.  She was really excited.  I told her all I needed was her first months rent.  She assured me her dad had already paid it.  I assured her he hadn't.  She came unhinged.  Rapidly.   She shall henceforth be knows as Princess Bitchy Pants. Here is how it went down:

Me: I do not have any payment here from you dad.  If you would like to step outside and give him a call, I am sure it can be resolved quickly.
Princess Bitchy Pants (PBP):  (standing directly in front of my desk, speaking as loudly as she can while there is about 25 people in my office)  I don't need to call my dad.  I know he paid it.  I know all about you and how you lose everyone's money all the time.  You are the worst land lord ever.  I want my keys.
Me: (deep breath, everyone is watching) I can not give you your keys without the first months rent.  And I can assure I have never lost anyone's money.  Ever.  I fully believe if you would just step aside and give your dad a call we could get right to the bottom of this.
PBP: THIS IS ABSURD.  JUST GIVE ME MY KEYS!!!!!
Me: (The office has gone silent while we all watch her meltdown, and while everyone else waits for me to respond, remember these people are all also here to move in for the first time.)  I am going to need you to calm down, and step outside to call your father.  I can not help you while you are screaming, and I can not give you your keys until I have your rent.
PBP: THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS.  THIS PLACE IS SHAM!!! (steps outside, but manages to call me a bitch on her way out)


I wait until the door is closed and then apologize to everyone in the office and try to move on with the move in process, but I can tell everyone is trying to decide if I have actually lost this girls money.  I had not, and I need everyone to be more excited about moving in, so I just tried to keep it happy and peppy.  Not always and easy task for me.

I help a couple more move in groups before PBP comes blazing back in, cuts in line, and demands I speak to her father.

PBP: (with a satisfied smirk on her face) My dad wants to speak to you about the check you lost.
Me: Again, I did not lose your check, but I will gladly speak to your father.
PBP dad: My daughter informs you have lost her rent check.  That is absurd.  She needs to be able to move in today.
Me: Sir, I do not have her check.  If you would like to give me the check number, I would be happy to search our whole system for it, although I do not believe it is there as I have already done a large search.  I am not above making mistakes, and I was happy to run the search earlier just in case, but it isn't here.
PBP dad: I should not have to give you a check number since you already have the check.
Me: (very confused) Sir, I do not have it.
PBP dad:  You just admitted you made a mistake and you do.
Me: That is not what I said.  Sir I have a very long line of people in my office.  I would be happy to look farther if you could provide a check number.  I also recommend you call your bank so that they can tell you who cashed the check, if it has been cashed, because it was not us.
PBP dad: I know that money is gone from my account.  You took it.
Me: I need to help the other people in my office.  Please call me back after you have called you bank.
PBP dad: I just don't understand why you won't just give her the keys.  We have paid this.
Me: Please call me after you call you bank. (I hang up)

By this time there is nearly 40 people in my office and my assistant and I are trying to keep up and to keep the mood positive.  PBP stands in front of my desk after she calls her dad back and whines to him about how awful I am right in front of my desk while I am trying to help other people.

Me: Sweetie, I really need you to step outside to handle this.  I have to help all these other people.
PBP: I was here first, and this is fucking insane.
Me:  Just step outside, and come back in after you dad has spoken to the bank.

She storms out again.  It is all just nutso at this point.  About 10 minutes later I get a fax and the girl comes back in looking satisfied again.

 PBP: My dad faxed you a copy of the cashed check.
Me:  Well let's check it out.  (I look over the copy)

Me:  This isn't a cashed check.  This is a print out showing he requested a payment be sent from his bank.  And that he requested it be sent to Bank of America.  We don't bank there.  This payment did not go to us.  Your dad will need to call his bank to get to the bottom of this, but that money did not come to us.
PBP:  He sent it.  It is not my problem if you can't figure out what you did with the money.  I want my keys.
Me: Hon, I understand that he sent it.  But he did not send it to us.  I have to have you rent before you move in.
(she is dialing her dad at this point and demanding I talk to him again)
PBP dad:  You can see you received the payment.  Why are you being so difficult.
Me: Sir, we did not receive the payment.  We do not bank at Bank of America. You need to call you bank to get this resolved. I don't have it. She can not move in without it.  And I have a line out my door.  I can not continue to talk about this.  When she brings in her rent, she can move in.  Now please sir, call you bank.  And hopefully you are able to get it resolved.
(dad hangs up on me)
PBP: THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID.  YOU HAVE STOLEN MY MONEY.  I HAVE PROOF RIGHT HERE.
Me:  I need you to step outside to resolve this.

She storms out.  She comes back about 20 minutes later with all her rent in cash.  Cuts in line again and throws it on my desk.  I count it out, get her the keys, and tell her sincerely that I hope her day gets better and that once her dad speaks to the bank, they will realize we don't have the money. I am sorry that her first day in our apartments hasn't gone well and if there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.

PBP: YOU CAN STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING BITCH AND LOSING PEOPLES MONEY!

She storms out with her keys.  We do the rest of move ins without incident.

Her dad and I go round and round for the next month until her finally figures out we do not have it.  we did not steal his money.  His bank sorts out in went into an account at Bank of America with a similar named property.  They get it figured out and get the money returned to his account.  Did he apologize? Nope, even better.

PBP dad: My bank figure out that the money was sent to you other account.
Me:  That wasn't our account sir.
PBP dad: I clearly sent it to you.
Me:  No sir, you sent it to the wrong company at the wrong bank.  Your bank clarified that.
PBP dad: You are the most difficult person I have ever dealt with.  (hangs up phone)

PBP has lived her for one month now. One down.  Eleven to go.  Shoot me now.