So we hired a part time maintenance person. They were young. Only 19. And a tenant. We hired him against our better judgment. But he is going to school for HVAC so we thought we would give him a shot. We could use the help and he could use the experience. We start him out with menial jobs, obviously. His duties include sweeping all the lots, changing out burnt out bulbs in the halls, just really boring stuff.
Our regular maintenance man takes him on some of his calls to start showing him the ropes. New kids is getting antsy at just a couple days of work in. But we can't just let him go on his own calls until we have seen him in action and made sure he can handle it. He sort of understands, but he isn't happy. Let alone the fact that we don't want to just give him a set of keys until we are sure he is an ok kid. Contrary to popular belief amongst the tenants, we do try to look out for them.
So after a few weeks, he seems to be doing alright on some of the easier tasks. Unclogging toilets, fixing door knobs, repairing the basic things. He hits his 30 day mark and comes in to talk to the owner about maybe getting a small raise. In all fairness we started him out at minimum wage to see if he was even going to be worth our time. So I can see how he wanted an increase.
He gets in front of the owner and asks for a $6 an hour raise. With a straight face. This kid maybe works 15 hours per week. Maybe. It was so hard to keep from laughing when I heard him say this. thankfully I did. The owner of the properties was able to as well. He tells the kid to give him some time to look at the numbers and see what he can come up with. However, it will not be a $6 an hour raise.
The day after he asks for a raise, I have a weird job I need done. We are updating our website. I have new floorplans made up for our website and we need the room measurements. Most of these we are able to pull from building plans, but I have a few random apartments that we just can't pull the numbers for so I need them measured. There are around 20 units in a few different buildings. I don't want to pull my regular guy off his work order list as this is kind of just busy work. So we put the kid on it. How hard can it be to measure a room? Well.....
He heads out and gets a few done. He then brings them to the office and he truly looks perplexed. Like he is stressed and I can tell.
Kid: We have a small problem. And I have a question about it.
Me: Ok. Shoot.
Kid: Well my tape measure is only 25 feet long and some of our units are bigger than that across the living rooms. Do you want me to just guestimate anything above 25 feet? Or do you have a second tape measure I can borrow.
Me: (I actually had to take about 30 seconds to really process what he was saying. Surely he was just pulling my leg) No. I don't want you to guestimate.
Kid: Well then how do I measure the rest?
Me: I don't know if you are kidding or not. did (other maintenance man) put you up to this?
Kid: I don't know what you mean. I just need to know how you want me to do this.
Me: Seriously. Are you kidding with me?
Kid: No.
Me: (I am dumbfounded at this point) You just measure from where the tape measure stops and then add the two numbers together.
Kid: (blank stare)
Me: (I am honest to God laughing out loud at this point) For the love of God, give me your tape measure. (I proceed to show him how to do this, even offer him a roll of tape incase he needs to mark the spot)
Kid: So you just want me to give you the two numbers?
Me: Oh my God you are so pretty. (said in the most sarcastic, condescending tone I can muster up)
Kid: Thank you. I didn't really like my outfit today so I am glad you said that.
Me: (stops laughing and just stares) No kid, that means you are ditzy. I wasn't complimenting you.
Kid: (blank stare)
Me:
Kid: So do I just give you the two numbers or what?
Me: No. you add them up and give me full length.
Kid: got it.
This kid is going places.
Tuesday, October 31, 2017
Tuesday, October 17, 2017
Snapped
Tenants complain all the parking spaces are be used by non residents.
We make lot permit only, just for tenants.
Tenants complain that people are still parking there.
We begin to tow cars that don't have permits.
Tenants complain their guests have no where to park.
*sigh*
We point out the free city parking garage across the street.
Tenants complain their aren't enough spaces in the lot for everyone.
We point out 1) the free city parking garage across the street and 2) the fact that we have a near empty garage under the building with space for lease if they would like a reserved spot.
Tenants complain that we aren't towing enough cars that park their on the weekends.
We increase towing.
Tenants complain because significant others car, with no permit gets towed.
This is literally an episode of Snapped waiting to happen.
We make lot permit only, just for tenants.
Tenants complain that people are still parking there.
We begin to tow cars that don't have permits.
Tenants complain their guests have no where to park.
*sigh*
We point out the free city parking garage across the street.
Tenants complain their aren't enough spaces in the lot for everyone.
We point out 1) the free city parking garage across the street and 2) the fact that we have a near empty garage under the building with space for lease if they would like a reserved spot.
Tenants complain that we aren't towing enough cars that park their on the weekends.
We increase towing.
Tenants complain because significant others car, with no permit gets towed.
This is literally an episode of Snapped waiting to happen.
Thursday, September 28, 2017
Reality Show
One of the idiots of idiotville just suggested I write a blog documenting all the dumb stuff they do. Or like, you know, talk someone into making a reality show out of it. He is so smart. Now I am off to find someone to film my reality show......
Thursday, September 21, 2017
Difficult People
We survived another round of move outs and ins. Barely. I had help for the first time ever this year, so that was kind of magical. But the tenants remain their delightful selves. As do their enabling parents. My baby wouldn't do that is still my favorite attitude I get from these people. Thankfully, as always I have pictures, texts, saved voicemails, and police reports to back up the fact that yes, they actually would and did do just that.
On the last day of move ins, I had an office full of parents and new tenants all eager to move in. I had a girl here to pick up keys to get into her new space. She was really excited. I told her all I needed was her first months rent. She assured me her dad had already paid it. I assured her he hadn't. She came unhinged. Rapidly. She shall henceforth be knows as Princess Bitchy Pants. Here is how it went down:
Me: I do not have any payment here from you dad. If you would like to step outside and give him a call, I am sure it can be resolved quickly.
Princess Bitchy Pants (PBP): (standing directly in front of my desk, speaking as loudly as she can while there is about 25 people in my office) I don't need to call my dad. I know he paid it. I know all about you and how you lose everyone's money all the time. You are the worst land lord ever. I want my keys.
Me: (deep breath, everyone is watching) I can not give you your keys without the first months rent. And I can assure I have never lost anyone's money. Ever. I fully believe if you would just step aside and give your dad a call we could get right to the bottom of this.
PBP: THIS IS ABSURD. JUST GIVE ME MY KEYS!!!!!
Me: (The office has gone silent while we all watch her meltdown, and while everyone else waits for me to respond, remember these people are all also here to move in for the first time.) I am going to need you to calm down, and step outside to call your father. I can not help you while you are screaming, and I can not give you your keys until I have your rent.
PBP: THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS. THIS PLACE IS SHAM!!! (steps outside, but manages to call me a bitch on her way out)
I wait until the door is closed and then apologize to everyone in the office and try to move on with the move in process, but I can tell everyone is trying to decide if I have actually lost this girls money. I had not, and I need everyone to be more excited about moving in, so I just tried to keep it happy and peppy. Not always and easy task for me.
I help a couple more move in groups before PBP comes blazing back in, cuts in line, and demands I speak to her father.
PBP: (with a satisfied smirk on her face) My dad wants to speak to you about the check you lost.
Me: Again, I did not lose your check, but I will gladly speak to your father.
PBP dad: My daughter informs you have lost her rent check. That is absurd. She needs to be able to move in today.
Me: Sir, I do not have her check. If you would like to give me the check number, I would be happy to search our whole system for it, although I do not believe it is there as I have already done a large search. I am not above making mistakes, and I was happy to run the search earlier just in case, but it isn't here.
PBP dad: I should not have to give you a check number since you already have the check.
Me: (very confused) Sir, I do not have it.
PBP dad: You just admitted you made a mistake and you do.
Me: That is not what I said. Sir I have a very long line of people in my office. I would be happy to look farther if you could provide a check number. I also recommend you call your bank so that they can tell you who cashed the check, if it has been cashed, because it was not us.
PBP dad: I know that money is gone from my account. You took it.
Me: I need to help the other people in my office. Please call me back after you have called you bank.
PBP dad: I just don't understand why you won't just give her the keys. We have paid this.
Me: Please call me after you call you bank. (I hang up)
By this time there is nearly 40 people in my office and my assistant and I are trying to keep up and to keep the mood positive. PBP stands in front of my desk after she calls her dad back and whines to him about how awful I am right in front of my desk while I am trying to help other people.
Me: Sweetie, I really need you to step outside to handle this. I have to help all these other people.
PBP: I was here first, and this is fucking insane.
Me: Just step outside, and come back in after you dad has spoken to the bank.
She storms out again. It is all just nutso at this point. About 10 minutes later I get a fax and the girl comes back in looking satisfied again.
PBP: My dad faxed you a copy of the cashed check.
Me: Well let's check it out. (I look over the copy)
Me: This isn't a cashed check. This is a print out showing he requested a payment be sent from his bank. And that he requested it be sent to Bank of America. We don't bank there. This payment did not go to us. Your dad will need to call his bank to get to the bottom of this, but that money did not come to us.
PBP: He sent it. It is not my problem if you can't figure out what you did with the money. I want my keys.
Me: Hon, I understand that he sent it. But he did not send it to us. I have to have you rent before you move in.
(she is dialing her dad at this point and demanding I talk to him again)
PBP dad: You can see you received the payment. Why are you being so difficult.
Me: Sir, we did not receive the payment. We do not bank at Bank of America. You need to call you bank to get this resolved. I don't have it. She can not move in without it. And I have a line out my door. I can not continue to talk about this. When she brings in her rent, she can move in. Now please sir, call you bank. And hopefully you are able to get it resolved.
(dad hangs up on me)
PBP: THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID. YOU HAVE STOLEN MY MONEY. I HAVE PROOF RIGHT HERE.
Me: I need you to step outside to resolve this.
She storms out. She comes back about 20 minutes later with all her rent in cash. Cuts in line again and throws it on my desk. I count it out, get her the keys, and tell her sincerely that I hope her day gets better and that once her dad speaks to the bank, they will realize we don't have the money. I am sorry that her first day in our apartments hasn't gone well and if there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.
PBP: YOU CAN STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING BITCH AND LOSING PEOPLES MONEY!
She storms out with her keys. We do the rest of move ins without incident.
Her dad and I go round and round for the next month until her finally figures out we do not have it. we did not steal his money. His bank sorts out in went into an account at Bank of America with a similar named property. They get it figured out and get the money returned to his account. Did he apologize? Nope, even better.
PBP dad: My bank figure out that the money was sent to you other account.
Me: That wasn't our account sir.
PBP dad: I clearly sent it to you.
Me: No sir, you sent it to the wrong company at the wrong bank. Your bank clarified that.
PBP dad: You are the most difficult person I have ever dealt with. (hangs up phone)
PBP has lived her for one month now. One down. Eleven to go. Shoot me now.
On the last day of move ins, I had an office full of parents and new tenants all eager to move in. I had a girl here to pick up keys to get into her new space. She was really excited. I told her all I needed was her first months rent. She assured me her dad had already paid it. I assured her he hadn't. She came unhinged. Rapidly. She shall henceforth be knows as Princess Bitchy Pants. Here is how it went down:
Me: I do not have any payment here from you dad. If you would like to step outside and give him a call, I am sure it can be resolved quickly.
Princess Bitchy Pants (PBP): (standing directly in front of my desk, speaking as loudly as she can while there is about 25 people in my office) I don't need to call my dad. I know he paid it. I know all about you and how you lose everyone's money all the time. You are the worst land lord ever. I want my keys.
Me: (deep breath, everyone is watching) I can not give you your keys without the first months rent. And I can assure I have never lost anyone's money. Ever. I fully believe if you would just step aside and give your dad a call we could get right to the bottom of this.
PBP: THIS IS ABSURD. JUST GIVE ME MY KEYS!!!!!
Me: (The office has gone silent while we all watch her meltdown, and while everyone else waits for me to respond, remember these people are all also here to move in for the first time.) I am going to need you to calm down, and step outside to call your father. I can not help you while you are screaming, and I can not give you your keys until I have your rent.
PBP: THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS. THIS PLACE IS SHAM!!! (steps outside, but manages to call me a bitch on her way out)
I wait until the door is closed and then apologize to everyone in the office and try to move on with the move in process, but I can tell everyone is trying to decide if I have actually lost this girls money. I had not, and I need everyone to be more excited about moving in, so I just tried to keep it happy and peppy. Not always and easy task for me.
I help a couple more move in groups before PBP comes blazing back in, cuts in line, and demands I speak to her father.
PBP: (with a satisfied smirk on her face) My dad wants to speak to you about the check you lost.
Me: Again, I did not lose your check, but I will gladly speak to your father.
PBP dad: My daughter informs you have lost her rent check. That is absurd. She needs to be able to move in today.
Me: Sir, I do not have her check. If you would like to give me the check number, I would be happy to search our whole system for it, although I do not believe it is there as I have already done a large search. I am not above making mistakes, and I was happy to run the search earlier just in case, but it isn't here.
PBP dad: I should not have to give you a check number since you already have the check.
Me: (very confused) Sir, I do not have it.
PBP dad: You just admitted you made a mistake and you do.
Me: That is not what I said. Sir I have a very long line of people in my office. I would be happy to look farther if you could provide a check number. I also recommend you call your bank so that they can tell you who cashed the check, if it has been cashed, because it was not us.
PBP dad: I know that money is gone from my account. You took it.
Me: I need to help the other people in my office. Please call me back after you have called you bank.
PBP dad: I just don't understand why you won't just give her the keys. We have paid this.
Me: Please call me after you call you bank. (I hang up)
By this time there is nearly 40 people in my office and my assistant and I are trying to keep up and to keep the mood positive. PBP stands in front of my desk after she calls her dad back and whines to him about how awful I am right in front of my desk while I am trying to help other people.
Me: Sweetie, I really need you to step outside to handle this. I have to help all these other people.
PBP: I was here first, and this is fucking insane.
Me: Just step outside, and come back in after you dad has spoken to the bank.
She storms out again. It is all just nutso at this point. About 10 minutes later I get a fax and the girl comes back in looking satisfied again.
PBP: My dad faxed you a copy of the cashed check.
Me: Well let's check it out. (I look over the copy)
Me: This isn't a cashed check. This is a print out showing he requested a payment be sent from his bank. And that he requested it be sent to Bank of America. We don't bank there. This payment did not go to us. Your dad will need to call his bank to get to the bottom of this, but that money did not come to us.
PBP: He sent it. It is not my problem if you can't figure out what you did with the money. I want my keys.
Me: Hon, I understand that he sent it. But he did not send it to us. I have to have you rent before you move in.
(she is dialing her dad at this point and demanding I talk to him again)
PBP dad: You can see you received the payment. Why are you being so difficult.
Me: Sir, we did not receive the payment. We do not bank at Bank of America. You need to call you bank to get this resolved. I don't have it. She can not move in without it. And I have a line out my door. I can not continue to talk about this. When she brings in her rent, she can move in. Now please sir, call you bank. And hopefully you are able to get it resolved.
(dad hangs up on me)
PBP: THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID. YOU HAVE STOLEN MY MONEY. I HAVE PROOF RIGHT HERE.
Me: I need you to step outside to resolve this.
She storms out. She comes back about 20 minutes later with all her rent in cash. Cuts in line again and throws it on my desk. I count it out, get her the keys, and tell her sincerely that I hope her day gets better and that once her dad speaks to the bank, they will realize we don't have the money. I am sorry that her first day in our apartments hasn't gone well and if there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.
PBP: YOU CAN STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING BITCH AND LOSING PEOPLES MONEY!
She storms out with her keys. We do the rest of move ins without incident.
Her dad and I go round and round for the next month until her finally figures out we do not have it. we did not steal his money. His bank sorts out in went into an account at Bank of America with a similar named property. They get it figured out and get the money returned to his account. Did he apologize? Nope, even better.
PBP dad: My bank figure out that the money was sent to you other account.
Me: That wasn't our account sir.
PBP dad: I clearly sent it to you.
Me: No sir, you sent it to the wrong company at the wrong bank. Your bank clarified that.
PBP dad: You are the most difficult person I have ever dealt with. (hangs up phone)
PBP has lived her for one month now. One down. Eleven to go. Shoot me now.
Friday, March 10, 2017
The Boy Who Broke His Door
I took a break from writing, again, because I didn't have very many new stories. Just a new crop of idiots doing the same idiot-y things. But in the last couple weeks they have upped their game. As have their enabling parents. I won't get political, but one parent actually said 'Thank God Trump is in the white house now. He will make it so people like you can't harass a good upstanding citizen.' She said this in response to me asking her son to pay for a door he had broken. Epic. Just epic. I am still trying to decide how Trump relates to her drunk idiot son running through his bedroom door. Not sure I will ever have clarification on that one.
In the last few weeks I have dealt with more ridiculous crap than in quite some time. But my favorite is the boy who broke his door.
Boy: (calls me on the phone) Last night I wasn't home and my room mates broke my door.
Me: What is broken? The frame? The trim? The actual door? The knob? I need to know what to put on the work order.
Boy: The door has a crack in it and a piece of the trim is cracked.
Me: That shouldn't be hard to fix. I will send our maintenance by later today to assess and see how much it will cost. You will have to pay before we repair it. (We have been burned too many times in the past by people never paying for damages and collecting is a nightmare so we changed our policy)
Boy: Sounds good.
Maintenance goes by to discover door is broken in half and half the door has been thrown away. Not only is the trim cracked but the actual frame is completely split. Basically he needs an entirely new door and door frame. But you know, it is just cracked.
I text the boy and give him the total for repair and let him know that as soon as it is paid for, we will get it repaired. He says ok, he will get it taken care of in the next week or so.
2 weeks later he texts me the following:
Boy: Is there any update on fixing my door?
Me: Did you pay for it? I didn't see the payment come in and it has to be paid before we can repair it.
Boy: Obiviously. But your man told me it could just come out of my deposit and it would only be about $150. So you can just go ahead and fix the door anytime.
Me: I know he did not tell you that. We never fix doors until they are paid for. And it will be closer to $400. It can come out of your deposit if that is what you want, but you will just not have a door on your bedroom until you move out.
Boy: I want a door, that's your job.
At this point I stopped responding as I just didn't have the energy to deal with any more that day. This kid has definitely not grasped what it is I do here. He thinks it is my job to get him what he wants. Someone please teach this kids a lesson. Please.
In the last few weeks I have dealt with more ridiculous crap than in quite some time. But my favorite is the boy who broke his door.
Boy: (calls me on the phone) Last night I wasn't home and my room mates broke my door.
Me: What is broken? The frame? The trim? The actual door? The knob? I need to know what to put on the work order.
Boy: The door has a crack in it and a piece of the trim is cracked.
Me: That shouldn't be hard to fix. I will send our maintenance by later today to assess and see how much it will cost. You will have to pay before we repair it. (We have been burned too many times in the past by people never paying for damages and collecting is a nightmare so we changed our policy)
Boy: Sounds good.
Maintenance goes by to discover door is broken in half and half the door has been thrown away. Not only is the trim cracked but the actual frame is completely split. Basically he needs an entirely new door and door frame. But you know, it is just cracked.
I text the boy and give him the total for repair and let him know that as soon as it is paid for, we will get it repaired. He says ok, he will get it taken care of in the next week or so.
2 weeks later he texts me the following:
Boy: Is there any update on fixing my door?
Me: Did you pay for it? I didn't see the payment come in and it has to be paid before we can repair it.
Boy: Obiviously. But your man told me it could just come out of my deposit and it would only be about $150. So you can just go ahead and fix the door anytime.
Me: I know he did not tell you that. We never fix doors until they are paid for. And it will be closer to $400. It can come out of your deposit if that is what you want, but you will just not have a door on your bedroom until you move out.
Boy: I want a door, that's your job.
At this point I stopped responding as I just didn't have the energy to deal with any more that day. This kid has definitely not grasped what it is I do here. He thinks it is my job to get him what he wants. Someone please teach this kids a lesson. Please.
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