Behold, the future

So we hired a part time maintenance person.  They were young.  Only 19.  And a tenant.  We hired him against our better judgment.  But he is going to school for HVAC so we thought we would give him a shot.  We could use the help and he could use the experience.  We start him out with menial jobs, obviously.  His duties include sweeping all the lots, changing out burnt out bulbs in the halls, just really boring stuff.

Our regular maintenance man takes him on some of his calls to start showing him the ropes.  New kids is getting antsy at just a couple days of work in.  But we can't just let him go on his own calls until we have seen him in action and made sure he can handle it.  He sort of understands, but he isn't happy.  Let alone the fact that we don't want to just give him a set of keys until we are sure he is an ok kid.  Contrary to popular belief amongst the tenants, we do try to look out for them.

So after a few weeks, he seems to be doing alright on some of the easier tasks.  Unclogging toilets, fixing door knobs, repairing the basic things.  He hits his 30 day mark and comes in to talk to the owner about maybe getting a small raise.  In all fairness we started him out at minimum wage to see if he was even going to be worth our time.  So I can see how he wanted an increase. 

He gets in front of the owner and asks for a $6 an hour raise.  With a straight face.  This kid maybe works 15 hours per week.  Maybe.  It was so hard to keep from laughing when I heard him say this.  thankfully I did.  The owner of the properties was able to as well. He tells the kid to give him some time to look at the numbers and see what he can come up with.  However, it will not be a $6 an hour raise.

The day after he asks for a raise, I have a weird job I need done.  We are updating our website.  I have new floorplans made up for  our website and we need the room measurements.  Most of these we are able to pull from building plans, but I have a few random apartments that we just can't pull the numbers for so I need them measured.  There are around 20 units in a few different buildings.  I don't want to pull my regular guy off his work order list as this is kind of just busy work.  So we put the kid on it.  How hard can it be to measure a room?  Well.....

He heads out and gets a few done.  He then brings them to the office and he truly looks perplexed.  Like he is stressed and I can tell.

Kid: We have a small problem.  And I have a question about it.
Me: Ok.  Shoot.
Kid: Well my tape measure is only 25 feet long and some of our units are bigger than that across the living rooms.  Do you want me to just guestimate anything above 25 feet?  Or do you have a second tape measure I can borrow.
Me: (I actually had to take about 30 seconds to really process what he was saying.  Surely he was just pulling my leg) No.  I don't want you to guestimate.
Kid: Well then how do I measure the rest?
Me: I don't know if you are kidding or not. did (other maintenance man) put you up to this?
Kid: I don't know what you mean.  I just need to know how you want me to do this.
Me: Seriously.  Are you kidding with me?
Kid: No.
Me: (I am dumbfounded at this point) You just measure from where the tape measure stops and then add the two numbers together.
Kid: (blank stare)
Me: (I am honest to God laughing out loud at this point)  For the love of God, give me your tape measure.  (I proceed to show him how to do this, even offer him a roll of tape incase he needs to mark the spot)
Kid: So you just want me to give you the two numbers?
Me: Oh my God you are so pretty.  (said in the most sarcastic, condescending tone I can muster up)
Kid: Thank you.  I didn't really like my outfit today so I am glad you said that.
Me: (stops laughing and just stares) No kid, that means you are ditzy.  I wasn't complimenting you.
Kid: (blank stare)
Me:
Kid: So do I just give you the two numbers or what?
Me: No. you add them up and give me full length.
Kid: got it.

This kid is going places.

Snapped

Tenants complain all the parking spaces are be used by non residents.
We make lot permit only, just for tenants.
Tenants complain that people are still parking there.
We begin to tow cars that don't have permits.
Tenants complain their guests have no where to park.
*sigh*
We point out the free city parking garage across the street.
Tenants complain their aren't enough spaces in the lot for everyone.
We point out 1) the free city parking garage across the street and 2) the fact that we have a near empty garage under the building with space for lease if they would like a reserved spot.
Tenants complain that we aren't towing enough cars that park their on the weekends.
We increase towing.
Tenants complain because significant others car, with no permit gets towed.


This is literally an episode of Snapped waiting to happen.